Over the years I’ve learned that clients and my own family can be a mixed bag of nuts. My twin sister puts a hilarious “spin” on her observations of everyone.
We are Compensating Personality twin sisters as are Cindy’s twin granddaughters. Cindy and Maryssa love to laugh while Makenna and I are more on the serious side. Ironically Maryssa shares Cindy’s middle name. Makenna? My middle name. Could we have known the twins would take after each of us? No. But, it happened.
Cindy is somewhat famous for having something to say about everything. Throughout our lives, Cindy has never been at a loss for words. As children, she spoke for me a number of years due to a chronic stutter I finally overcame in my 20’s.
For the past year, we have had the twins in counseling due to their mother, Stephaney’s behavior.
The similarities of our own mother and my niece are frightening. My mom was a heroin addict. My niece is Bipolar One and addicted to meth. We have spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to “save Stephaney” but, like our mothers mother, we have failed.
While my mothers choices destroyed our family and our childhood, Cindy and I “saved the twins” by seeking custody when they were three months old. We had no one to “save us” so, we saved the twins. Cindy and I knew all too well that addicts destroy their children’s lives from experience.
Although the twins have always lived with Cindy, they had nearly four years of their mother “acting normal” before going off the rails fourteen months ago.
Stephaney’s choices have had a ripple effect on all of us. My normally happy twin sister often cries from the despair of watching the downward spiral of Stephaney.
I’m angry that my niece has done this to our family and is hurting my sister. Cindy uses laughter to mask her pain. With Christmas right around the corner, my sister and I have watched her daughter, Stephaney lose everything this past year as well as most of her family.
Cindy and I are the only two people left that bother talking to or taking clothes and toiletries to Stephaney.
Yesterday at a counseling appointment with the twins, Maryssa and Makenna, Cindy decided to address the counselor (who was talking to the twins about the differences between a pessimist and an optimist).
What brought up this topic? The twins mother, Stephaney. Makenna has given up hope that their mother will straighten up. Maryssa believes that since Stephaney was stable on Thanksgiving that there’s hope.
Cindy interjected into the conversation that the counselor was omitting a realist. The counselor seemed confused. As usual, Cindy decided to enlighten her that life doesn’t only consist of a pessimist and an optimist. Realists see problems and try to find solutions.
You can sit and complain or work it out. Cindy can’t fix her daughter, Stephaney. Cindy has lived through seventeen years of Stephaney’s bad choices and Cindy is being a realist when she says that without court ordered drug tests, Stephaney will find a way to get drugs.
The counselor advised Cindy that she knows about drug addicts and is therefore in a better position to address the situation. Cindy asked the counselor (who is fairly snooty) if her mother had sold her for $50 at six years old or if she had been through any real trauma to make her an expert on these situations? “No. My mother took diet pills.”
My sister laughed. “Diet pills? My sister and I had a childhood that most people wouldn’t survive. We were casualties of a heroin addicted mother and her choices. I saved my granddaughters from the childhood I lived and you act as if I’m too uneducated to address the elephant in the room. I’m not. My role is to protect these kids and yet, you continue to dig up their mother who isn’t a part of their lives at these sessions over and over and expect me to silently listen. I’m the parent to these twins. I’ve been the parent for fourteen years. Stop acting as if I know nothing and you know everything. You don’t.”
My twin and I have never had anyone other than each other to rely on and my twin grandnieces have their twin MeMe’s who both wonder why these counseling appointments discuss plenty of issues (mainly regarding the twins mom, Stephaney) but, no real solutions?
After weeks of sitting in these sessions listening which for Cindy is difficult if not impossible, Cindy finally decided to let this counselor know that “rehashing old wounds isn’t going to heal the cut.”
We can’t control the twins mother but, we can control taking care of the twins. They are our priority. Both of their parents are addicts. Both of their parents refuse to pay child support. Both of their parents don’t deserve to see these twins because no one deserves to be around an addict. No one.
Cindy (like me) wonders if this counselor is the right choice? We wish the twins would stop worrying about their mother, Stephaney but, it’s a cloud over all of us.
Unlike the twins, Cindy and I know all too well that hoping and/or praying for Stephaney to change hasn’t had any effect on her in seventeen years now.
Experience is a great teacher. One twin, Maryssa holds our hope. The other twin, Makenna, has given up hoping her mom will make establishing a relationship with the twins a priority to their mother, Stephaney.
Sadly, Cindy and I had had the same views about our own mother. I had hoped for the best and, I was wrong. For nearly thirty years, I made excuses for my mother. “She’s busy or she would have tried to find us.” Cindy knew what I didn’t. Our mother was never going to change.
By the time I went to search for my mother, Cindy simply rolled her eyes at my boatload of reasons why we never heard from our mother. My twin also chose not to go with me to meet our mother and, she made a good choice. My mother was high as a kite. Maybe she thought I wouldn’t notice?
“Life is a road trip. The pessimist will see a flat tire. The optimist will get the spare. The realist will change it after checking the air. I’m a realist.” Cindy has had a lifetime of experience. Experience with mansions, moochers, morons, feuding family members, demanding clients and Divas. Many of her saucy and wildly popular quotes are used on our Pawning Planners Apparel line.
People ask “where did you hear that?” Cindy quickly enlightens folks that she said it first and tells em to “google it!”
My sister and I are survivors. We had no family to help us. We had no one like us to pick up the pieces. We figured it out and made our way through life. I created Texas Twins Events specifically for people like us who had no family to help them with a Life Event. Not everyone has parents to foot the bill so, I created a low cost Events business to fill the void. Maybe that makes us different because we realize the struggles others face but, I knew the need existed and, I was right.
My twin is my partner, best friend and hero. Cindy and I have never been lucky but, we have been driven and passionate enough to find a way over or under to get the job done as a twin team.
Cindy is never at a loss for words and if she is, she’s thinking. Thinking of a Cindyism Quote that is. Cindy has a million of them. My twin sister uses her comic flair for any situation. While I’m usually standing in shock over this or that, Cindy is coming up with a quote to describe the situation and make it comical.
Cindy and I have never met a stranger. We are far from shy and not afraid to tell it how we see it. Our outgoing personalities are the main reason that we can sell anything including our services at Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, Texas Prison Weddings and Texas Twins Treasures.
We know what people want but, occasionally, people don’t want to pay for what they want. Why? They expect it for free or at a discount. Diva’s are a dime a dozen ya all.
Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney us is now living at a Group Home after being transferred from yet another Involuntary Committment at JPS/LCA. Stephaney can be a Diva. She wants this or needs that and she only smokes “her brand” of cigarettes. Between juggling work, family and Stephaney as well as trying to provide stability for the twins since Stephaney went off the deep end again, this past year has been a painful journey of watching my niece, Stephaney lose her friends, her jobs, her cars, the ability and privledge of living at home with my sister and finally the trust of many of our family members.
Dealing with a Diva as a client is no longer on the table for us. Difficult people can move on down the road because they aren’t worth our effort.
Dealing with a family member is difficult enough. We love work because it gives us something fun to do. Working with Diva’s is far from fun.
Yesterday, as I was writing a blog for Texas Twins Events, Cindy called me to give me “Cindyism of the day.” As usual, it was based on Stephaney.
Cindy has “new material” all day long simply from going from one day to the next.
Today’s blog is peppered with Cindyism Quotes after a flood of emails from folks wanting to order asked for MY FAVORITE QUOTES from Cindy. Well, folks, here they are.
Thanksgiving this year had a few bumps in the road as usual for the Texas Twins. Trying to force our family to get along together isn’t easy. In fact, planning family events is by far the hardest event planning we have ever attempted.
“Family. The sweetest grapes in the vineyard were grown from twisted vines.” Our family is often the basis for a number of quotes.
Sales of Pawning Planners Apparel brings a boom to Texas Twins Treasures during the holidays. Pawning Planners Apparel is a gift that keeps on giving.
If you missed my Texas Twins Events blog, here’s the link– Tantrums, Tiaras, Torres Unit To 24 Hour Fitness & Twinning Our Way Through The Holidays.
“I would PREFER to BE a DIME store LAMP that LIGHTS up the ROOM, than TO be a PRICELESS statue, IN a CORNER gathering DUST, anyday” (MONEY ain’t EVERYTHING).
“FAITH is the FISHERMAN, who CAST his LURE into the WATER, with the BELIEF he WILL be FED from PERSEVERANCE” (without FAITH, there is no HOPE).
By creating a window for anyone regardless of their income to enjoy a dream event, we found out a few folks couldn’t come up with a trade or any money so, we created Pawning Planners Apparel featuring Cindyism Quotes.
Available in numerous languages and custom quotes, Pawning Planners sales fund families with no money to book through Texas Twins Events and no trade to barter through The Pawning Planners. I.E. We worked it out.
“The WORLD is a CIRCUS, with the OPPORTUNITY to BE a RINGLEADER, a PERFORMER or JUST another CLOWN, under the BIG top of LIFE.”
“HAVING a BAD attitude, is LIKE wearing DIRTY socks, THEY both STINK, and ONLY you CAN change THEM.”
“OPPORTUNITIES are like RAINBOWS, they CAN both DISAPPEAR, before EVER being APPRECIATED.”
“NEVER turn your BACK or RUN away FROM what you BELIEVE in, BECAUSE the CRITICS that CHASE you, EVENTUALLY trip AND fall, into OBSCURITY.”
“Dont EXPECT a BLUE chip FRIENDSHIP, from a BOTTOM of the BARREL buddy, REAL friends are RARE.”
“TYING every BUNDLE, will EVENTUALLY fill the HAY barn, if you PERSEVERE.”
“If you CHASE a FLOCK of BIRDS, you WILL never CAGE any” (stay focused).
“Life IS an ORCHARD, never be AFRAID to PRUNE the LIMBS, dead BRANCHES can KILL living TREES.”
“I may NOT be the DIAMOND you HOPED for, but LIKE a CUBIC ZIRCONIA, I will SHINE on, because YOU don’t HAVE to be HIGH maintenance, to SPARKLE.”
“Being EMBARRASSED and getting ANGRY is FUTILE, thats LIKE attempting to ROPE the WIND, when YOU can just LET it BLOW over.”
“In the FOREST of LIFE, be AWARE of your SURROUNDINGS, the HANDLE of the AXE that CUTS you DOWN, was ONCE a TREE.”
“LIFE is a LIBRARY and you ARE the AUTHOR, leave BEHIND a GOOD book, WITHOUT any BLANK pages.”
“A bad ATTITUDE, is as WELCOME as, a RATTLESNAKE at a RODEO, or a DUST storm, ON a TRAIL drive.”
“GRATITUDE is the DIFFERENCE between APPRECIATION and a SENSE of ENTITLEMENT” (be grateful).
“It’s NOT considered BUILDING a BRIDGE with the NEIGHBOR, if YOU are ONLY going to USE it, to BORROW the HORSE and MILK his COW.”
“SUCCESS doesn’t GROW without PLANTING the SEEDS of EFFORT, and WEEDING through YOUR gardens FAILURES.”
“AGING is the GIFT few PEOPLE have the OPPORTUNITY to OPEN, if YOU were INVITED to the PARTY, don’t FORGET to CELEBRATE.”
” if you FEEL like a MILLION dollars, dont TREAT others as POCKET change, your POPULARITY doesn’t INCREASE by PUTTING others DOWN.”
“Your MORALS are LIKE a good SET of TIRES, everything YOU have, is RIDING on THEM” drive SAFELY!
“PERSEVERANCE is LIKE a BORROWED plow, DON’T be AFRAID, to PUSH IT.”
“YOU don’t EARN extra CREDIT, only WORKING to GET by, IF you don’t CARE, nobody ELSE will NOTICE either.”
Take PRIDE in your JOURNEY, and be PROUD of every STEP you TAKE, towards your DESTINATION.”
“PEOPLE with INITIATIVE, are like YEAST in BREAD, they RISE to every OPPORTUNITY.”
“SUCCESS is the DEFINITION of placing EVERYTHING you HAVE, into ANYTHING you DO.”
“a BAD attitude ENDS the FUN, causing EVERYBODY to RUN, I don’t JOG, so I will SIT like a BUMP on a LOG, and WAIT for YOU to CHANGE it.”
“IF you don’t SPEAK the TRUTH today, your WORDS will be SPOKEN to DEAF ears TOMORROW.”
“NEVER allow FEAR of the WATER, to KEEP you on DRY land, the BIGGEST fish don’t SWIM close TO the SHORE.”
“SELF love is a QUALITY, that INSPIRES others to FOLLOW.”
“FAMILY are the STAKES in the FENCE, that KEEP you STANDING and SUPPORT you, even AFTER the STORM.”
“Don’t STEP into TRAFFIC for SOMEONE that threw YOU under the BUS already, because ONCE is EXPERIENCE and TWICE is STUPIDITY” (be smart).
“ANGER is UNHEALTHY, it’s always BEST to COOL your ENGINE, before you END up CRACKING your BLOCK, and CONSEQUENTLY, not going ANYWHERE.”
“A BAD attitude IS as USEFUL, as a FREE self ESTEEM seminar, TO a NARCISSIST.”
“Don’t EXPECT to CHERRY pick a WITHERED branch ON a BARREN tree, PEOPLES generosity EVENTUALLY runs OUT.”
“TO gain KNOWLEDGE is a GIFT, even if FAILURE was YOUR only TEACHER.”
“IT doesn’t TAKE broad SHOULDERS to CARRY a GRUDGE, a NARROW mind CAN hold ONTO one FOREVER.”
“KNOWLEDGE without COMMON sense is like, GOING deep SEA diving, WITHOUT a WET suit, or an AIR tank, just BECAUSE you READ the BOOK, doesn’t MEAN you UNDERSTOOD the INSTRUCTIONS.”
“Your INFLUENCE on others, CAN make THEIR troubles a SHORT journey, or a LONG haul, BE the FUEL that IGNITES the FIRE within THEM, when you CAN.”
“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING still WATERS run deep, WISDOM is KNOWING to WEAR a LIFE jacket, ON the RIVER” (because some folks can be smart and dumb, at the SAME time).
“There IS no INTERVAL, on the ROAD to SUCCESS, for A truly DEDICATED traveler.”
“LEADERSHIP without INTEGRITY, is LIKE being the CAPTAIN, aboard a SINKING ship.”
“YOU can GRAZE with the CATTLE, without BECOMING part OF the HERD” You DONT have to LIKE somebody, to LEARN from THEM.”
“PEOPLES negativity, SOMETIMES you HAVE to PULL the WEEDS, before they CHOKE your GARDEN, and PREVENT your HARVEST.”
“a BAD attitude, IS as WELCOME as, a TWISTER at a TEXAS tailgate PARTY.”
“FAMILY is LIKE a POT luck DINNER, you don’t HAVE to LIKE everything they BRING to the TABLE, to APPRECIATE the MEAL”
“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING that BIRDS travel in FLOCKS, wisdom is KNOWING to DUCK and COVER, when THEY take FLIGHT.”
“A SMILE speaks KINDNESS, faster AND louder, THAN any WORDS could ever EMULATE.”
“LIFE is a BAKERY, with the OPPORTUNITY to break BREAD with the LESS fortunate, SPREAD kindness, like BUTTER.”
“When OPPORTUNITY comes CALLING, you DONT send IT to VOICE mail, you ANSWER the PHONE.”
“KNOWLEDGE without COMMON sense, IS like FILLING the GAS tank, on a TOTALED car.”
“Taking someone’s KINDNESS for GRANTED, is LIKE eating SUPPER, without a dinner PRAYER.”
“DISCRIMINATION can’t FLOURISH without PARTICIPATION, never WATER poison IVY, NIP it IN the BUD.”
“YOU can’t PROFIT from the HARVEST, if YOU don’t PLANT the CROP.”
“Don’t CRITICIZE today’s YOUTH, without REMEMBERING the GENERATION that RAISED them.”
“a JOURNEY without a DESTINATION is JUST a JOY ride, STAY focused ON your GOALS.”
“Never ALLOW recess to INTERFERE with YOUR life’s PROGRESS, there is ALWAYS time to PLAY later.”
“FAMILY is THE only DEMOLITION crew, that can TEAR down a WALL, and SOMEBODY will come ALONG and REPLACE it, WITH a FENCE.”
“A bad ATTITUDE is LIKE a HAIR, on THE morning HOTCAKES, because BOTH, are a GOOD excuse for EVERYBODY else to LEAVE.”
“DONT pack your BAGS, for somebody else’s GUILT trip, that’s NOT your LUGGAGE, and it AIN’T your TRIP either.”
“Don’t HIDE your PRIDE on the JOURNEY, be PROUD of EVERY step you TOOK, towards the DESTINATION.”
“COMMON sense IS like MOUTHWASH, the PEOPLE that NEED it the MOST, don’t USE it at ALL, but GET up IN your FACE anyway.”
“INTELLIGENCE can easily RECOGNIZE the SOUNDS of LAUGHTER, however WISDOM quickly DISTINGUISHES a SMILE, from a SMIRK.”
“IGNORANCE speaks WITHOUT forethought however, INTELLIGENCE listens before SAYING a WORD.”
“APPRECIATE the JOURNEY, be GRATEFUL for the TRIP.”
“A HARD road PAVED, offers a DESTINATION to SUCCESS, for any DEDICATED traveler.”
“You don’t MEND fences WITH your NEIGHBOR, borrowing a LADDER, to STEAL fruit, FROM their TREE” (BE a MOOCHER).
“KNOWLEDGE is knowing TRAINS ride on TRACKS, WISDOM is KNOWING to STAY clear OF the railroad CROSSING, when you HEAR the WHISTLE blow.”
“DETERMINATION is the FAST lane, on the ROAD road to SUCCESS.”
“a BAD attitude, IS as WELCOME as a TWISTER at a TEXAS tailgate PARTY.”
“The words THANK YOU are the VOICE of GRATITUDE, don’t be AFRAID to SPEAK them, and SHOW your APPRECIATION.”
“YOU can be the WALLFLOWER that never DANCES, or YOU can BE the HUSTLE, that REFUSES to SIT.”
“UNSOLICITED advice IS as WELCOME, as a Dallas DEADBEAT dad, attending HIS daughters, DEBUTANTE dance” Amen.
“You CAN’T be AFRAID of HEIGHTS, to CLIMB the LADDER of SUCCESS.”
“Don’t COME around to REAP the HARVEST, if YOU didn’t HELP planting the CROPS.”
“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING your FOOD has gone SOUR, WISDOM is KNOWING not to EAT it.”
“You DONT have TO be a MATHEMATICIAN to know, WALKING away from PROBLEMS, will NEVER solve THEM.”
“Unless YOU are EMPLOYED at a WASHATERIA, leave your DIRTY laundry at HOME, because NOBODY needs a STAINED reputation, at WORK.”
“KNOWLEDGE is knowing POISON ivy IS a plant, WISDOM is KNOWING to WALK around IT, not THROUGH it.”
“Don’t GET so BUSY financing your FUTURE, that you FORGET to ENJOY, your EXISTENCE.”
“God GAVE you a BRAIN to CONTROL your MOUTH, think FIRST before EXCERSIZING your FREEDOM of SPEECH.”
“You CANT climb the LADDER of SUCCESS riding SOMEBODY else’s COAT tails.”
“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING how to GIVE someone CORRECT change, however WISDOM is KNOWING that every PENNY counts.”
“There is A little TRUTH to every JOKE, dont BECOME the PUNCHLINE.”
“Never ALLOW your MOUTH to WORK overtime, when your BRAIN is on a BREAK.”
Makenna was right about her mom. Hours after taking the twins to counseling, Cindy met me to go to the Group Home that Stephaney’s now living in. Our mission? A new bus pass, cigarettes and work clothes. Stephaney’s behavior? Shocking. Tapping her fingers and saying we were yelling, Cindy and I knew she had found drugs again.
Like Cindy, I wondered how long it would be until Stephaney was homeless again due to her own choices. Talking in Spanish or yelling or mumbling, our visit was cut short.
Driving away, we both wearily wondered how long it would be before Stephaney was kicked out? A call from the owner of the Group Home came at dinner. The owner, Angela said Stephaney was screaming and scaring other patients. Cindy and I knew that Stephaney would mess this up rather than looking for work and, we were right.
We are off to meet clients today and trying to focus on work and clients rather than worrying about Stephaney as worrying hasn’t changed anything other than robbing us of sleep and peace of mind. Angela knows something is going on with Stephaney and, my niece is most likely going to be kicked out if the Group Home due to her choices.
Tomorrow morning, Cindy and I are scheduled to go meet Angela and “discuss” Stephaney’s behavior. Neither Cindy or I are looking forward to this meeting. We are fearful of Stephaney being homeless awaiting sentencing for her DWI last February. Stephaney will deny drug use although we know the signs. We’ve seen the anger and hostility. We’ve weathered the storms of having an addict for a family member. I don’t know how my grandma Tinney dealt with our mom for all those years. I know this though, eventually our mother and her demons sent grandmother to an early grave. Cindy and I must “toughen up” regarding Stephaney. Crying hasn’t solved any of the problems and heartache my niece has brought to our lives. Tough love isn’t easy. It’s painful and it’s emotionally debilitating.
We hope you find a particular quote you fall in love with too. I’m certain Cindy will come up with a few new ones just in time for the holidays….