“Always ALLOW yesterday’s MISTAKES, to PAVE the ROAD for TODAY’S goals”

Over the years I’ve learned that clients and my own family can be a mixed bag of nuts. My twin sister puts a hilarious “spin” on her observations of everyone. 

We are Compensating Personality twin sisters as are Cindy’s twin granddaughters. Cindy and Maryssa love to laugh while Makenna and I are more on the serious side. Ironically Maryssa shares Cindy’s middle name. Makenna? My middle name. Could we have known the twins would take after each of us? No. But, it happened. 

Cindy is somewhat famous for having something to say about everything. Throughout our lives, Cindy has never been at a loss for words. As children, she spoke for me a number of years due to a chronic stutter I finally overcame in my 20’s. 

For the past year, we have had the twins in counseling due to their mother, Stephaney’s behavior. 

The similarities of our own mother and my niece are frightening. My mom was a heroin addict. My niece is Bipolar One and addicted to meth. We have spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to “save Stephaney” but, like our mothers mother, we have failed. 

While my mothers choices destroyed our family and our childhood, Cindy and I “saved the twins” by seeking custody when they were three months old. We had no one to “save us” so, we saved the twins. Cindy and I knew all too well that addicts destroy their children’s lives from experience. 

Although the twins have always lived with Cindy, they had nearly four years of their mother “acting normal” before going off the rails fourteen months ago. 

Stephaney’s choices have had a ripple effect on all of us. My normally happy twin sister often cries from the despair of watching the downward spiral of Stephaney. 

I’m angry that my niece has done this to our family and is hurting my sister. Cindy uses laughter to mask her pain. With Christmas right around the corner, my sister and I have watched her daughter, Stephaney lose everything this past year as well as most of her family. 

Cindy and I are the only two people left that bother talking to or taking clothes and toiletries to Stephaney. 

Yesterday at a counseling appointment with the twins, Maryssa and Makenna, Cindy decided to address the counselor (who was talking to the twins about the differences between a pessimist and an optimist). 

What brought up this topic? The twins mother, Stephaney. Makenna has given up hope that their mother will straighten up. Maryssa believes that since Stephaney was stable on Thanksgiving that there’s hope. 

Cindy interjected into the conversation that the counselor was omitting a realist. The counselor seemed confused. As usual, Cindy decided to enlighten her that life doesn’t only consist of a pessimist and an optimist. Realists see problems and try to find solutions. 

You can sit and complain or work it out. Cindy can’t fix her daughter, Stephaney. Cindy has lived through seventeen years of Stephaney’s bad choices and Cindy is being a realist when she says that without court ordered drug tests, Stephaney will find a way to get drugs. 

The counselor advised Cindy that she knows about drug addicts and is therefore in a better position to address the situation. Cindy asked the counselor (who is fairly snooty) if her mother had sold her for $50 at six years old or if she had been through any real trauma to make her an expert on these situations? “No. My mother took diet pills.” 

My sister laughed. “Diet pills? My sister and I had a childhood that most people wouldn’t survive. We were casualties of a heroin addicted mother and her choices. I saved my granddaughters from the childhood I lived and you act as if I’m too uneducated to address the elephant in the room. I’m not. My role is to protect these kids and yet, you continue to dig up their mother who isn’t a part of their lives at these sessions over and over and expect me to silently listen. I’m the parent to these twins. I’ve been the parent for fourteen years. Stop acting as if I know nothing and you know everything. You don’t.” 

My twin and I have never had anyone other than each other to rely on and my twin grandnieces have their twin MeMe’s who both wonder why these counseling appointments discuss plenty of issues (mainly regarding the twins mom, Stephaney) but, no real solutions? 

After weeks of sitting in these sessions listening which for Cindy is difficult if not impossible, Cindy finally decided to let this counselor know that “rehashing old wounds isn’t going to heal the cut.” 

We can’t control the twins mother but, we can control taking care of the twins. They are our priority. Both of their parents are addicts. Both of their parents refuse to pay child support. Both of their parents don’t deserve to see these twins because no one deserves to be around an addict. No one. 

Cindy (like me) wonders if this counselor is the right choice? We wish the twins would stop worrying about their mother, Stephaney but, it’s a cloud over all of us. 

Unlike the twins, Cindy and I know all too well that hoping and/or praying for Stephaney to change hasn’t had any effect on her in seventeen years now. 

Experience is a great teacher. One twin, Maryssa holds our hope. The other twin, Makenna, has given up hoping her mom will make establishing a relationship with the twins a priority to their mother, Stephaney.

Sadly, Cindy and I had had the same views about our own mother. I had hoped for the best and, I was wrong. For nearly thirty years, I made excuses for my mother. “She’s busy or she would have tried to find us.” Cindy knew what I didn’t. Our mother was never going to change. 

By the time I went to search for my mother, Cindy simply rolled her eyes at my boatload of reasons why we never heard from our mother. My twin also chose not to go with me to meet our mother and, she made a good choice. My mother was high as a kite. Maybe she thought I wouldn’t notice? 

“Life is a road trip. The pessimist will see a flat tire. The optimist will get the spare. The realist will change it after checking the air. I’m a realist.” Cindy has had a lifetime of experience. Experience with mansions, moochers, morons, feuding family members, demanding clients and Divas. Many of her saucy and wildly popular quotes are used on our Pawning Planners Apparel line. 

People ask “where did you hear that?” Cindy quickly enlightens folks that she said it first and tells em to “google it!” 

My sister and I are survivors. We had no family to help us. We had no one like us to pick up the pieces. We figured it out and made our way through life. I created Texas Twins Events specifically for people like us who had no family to help them with a Life Event. Not everyone has parents to foot the bill so, I created a low cost Events business to fill the void. Maybe that makes us different because we realize the struggles others face but, I knew the need existed and, I was right. 

My twin is my partner, best friend and hero. Cindy and I have never been lucky but, we have been driven and passionate enough to find a way over or under to get the job done as a twin team. 

Cindy is never at a loss for words and if she is, she’s thinking. Thinking of a Cindyism Quote that is. Cindy has a million of them. My twin sister uses her comic flair for any situation. While I’m usually standing in shock over this or that, Cindy is coming up with a quote to describe the situation and make it comical. 

Cindy and I have never met a stranger. We are far from shy and not afraid to tell it how we see it. Our outgoing personalities are the main reason that we can sell anything including our services at Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, Texas Prison Weddings and Texas Twins Treasures. 

We know what people want but, occasionally, people don’t want to pay for what they want. Why? They expect it for free or at a discount. Diva’s are a dime a dozen ya all. 

Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney us is now living at a Group Home after being transferred from yet another Involuntary Committment at JPS/LCA. Stephaney can be a Diva. She wants this or needs that and she only smokes “her brand” of cigarettes. Between juggling work, family and Stephaney as well as trying to provide stability for the twins since Stephaney went off the deep end again, this past year has been a painful journey of watching my niece, Stephaney lose her friends, her jobs, her cars, the ability and privledge of living at home with my sister and finally the trust of many of our family members. 

Dealing with a Diva as a client is no longer on the table for us. Difficult people can move on down the road because they aren’t worth our effort. 

Dealing with a family member is difficult enough. We love work because it gives us something fun to do. Working with Diva’s is far from fun. 

Yesterday, as I was writing a blog for Texas Twins Events, Cindy called me to give me “Cindyism of the day.” As usual, it was based on Stephaney.  

Cindy has “new material” all day long simply from going from one day to the next. 

Today’s blog is peppered with Cindyism Quotes after a flood of emails from folks wanting to order asked for MY FAVORITE QUOTES from Cindy. Well, folks, here they are.

Thanksgiving this year had a few bumps in the road as usual for the Texas Twins. Trying to force our family to get along together isn’t easy. In fact, planning family events is by far the hardest event planning we have ever attempted. 

“Family. The sweetest grapes in the vineyard were grown from twisted vines.” Our family is often the basis for a number of quotes. 

Sales of Pawning Planners Apparel brings a boom to Texas Twins Treasures during the holidays. Pawning Planners Apparel is a gift that keeps on giving.

If you missed my Texas Twins Events blog, here’s the link– Tantrums, Tiaras, Torres Unit To 24 Hour Fitness & Twinning Our Way Through The Holidays.

“I would PREFER to BE a DIME store LAMP that LIGHTS up the ROOM, than TO be a PRICELESS statue, IN a CORNER gathering DUST, anyday” (MONEY ain’t EVERYTHING).

“FAITH is the FISHERMAN, who CAST his LURE into the WATER, with the BELIEF he WILL be FED from PERSEVERANCE” (without FAITH, there is no HOPE).

By creating a window for anyone regardless of their income to enjoy a dream event, we found out a few folks couldn’t come up with a trade or any money so, we created Pawning Planners Apparel featuring Cindyism Quotes. 

Available in numerous languages and custom quotes, Pawning Planners sales fund families with no money to book through Texas Twins Events and no trade to barter through The Pawning Planners. I.E. We worked it out. 

“The WORLD is a CIRCUS, with the OPPORTUNITY to BE a RINGLEADER, a PERFORMER or JUST another CLOWN, under the BIG top of LIFE.”

“HAVING a BAD attitude, is LIKE wearing DIRTY socks, THEY both STINK, and ONLY you CAN change THEM.”

 “OPPORTUNITIES are like RAINBOWS, they CAN both DISAPPEAR, before EVER being APPRECIATED.”

“NEVER turn your BACK or RUN away FROM what you BELIEVE in, BECAUSE the CRITICS that CHASE you, EVENTUALLY trip AND fall, into OBSCURITY.” 

“Dont EXPECT a BLUE chip FRIENDSHIP, from a BOTTOM of the BARREL buddy, REAL friends are RARE.” 

“TYING every BUNDLE, will EVENTUALLY fill the HAY barn, if you PERSEVERE.” 

 “If you CHASE a FLOCK of BIRDS, you WILL never CAGE any” (stay focused).

“Life IS an ORCHARD, never be AFRAID to PRUNE the LIMBS, dead BRANCHES can KILL living TREES.” 

“I may NOT be the DIAMOND you HOPED for, but LIKE a CUBIC ZIRCONIA, I will SHINE on, because YOU don’t HAVE to be HIGH maintenance, to SPARKLE.” 

“Being EMBARRASSED and getting ANGRY is FUTILE, thats LIKE attempting to ROPE the WIND, when YOU can just LET it BLOW over.” 

 “In the FOREST of LIFE, be AWARE of your SURROUNDINGS, the HANDLE of the AXE that CUTS you DOWN, was ONCE a TREE.” 

 “LIFE is a LIBRARY and you ARE the AUTHOR, leave BEHIND a GOOD book, WITHOUT any BLANK pages.” 

 “A bad ATTITUDE, is as WELCOME as, a RATTLESNAKE at a RODEO, or a DUST storm, ON a TRAIL drive.”

 “GRATITUDE is the DIFFERENCE between APPRECIATION and a SENSE of ENTITLEMENT” (be grateful). 

 “It’s NOT considered BUILDING a BRIDGE with the NEIGHBOR, if YOU are ONLY going to USE it, to BORROW the HORSE and MILK his COW.” 

 “SUCCESS doesn’t GROW without PLANTING the SEEDS of EFFORT, and WEEDING through YOUR gardens FAILURES.” 

“AGING is the GIFT few PEOPLE have the OPPORTUNITY to OPEN, if YOU were INVITED to the PARTY, don’t FORGET to CELEBRATE.” 

” if you FEEL like a MILLION dollars, dont TREAT others as POCKET change, your POPULARITY doesn’t INCREASE by PUTTING others DOWN.” 

“Your MORALS are LIKE a good SET of TIRES, everything YOU have, is RIDING on THEM” drive SAFELY!

“PERSEVERANCE is LIKE a BORROWED plow, DON’T be AFRAID, to PUSH IT.” 

“YOU don’t EARN extra CREDIT, only WORKING to GET by, IF you don’t CARE, nobody ELSE will NOTICE either.”

Take PRIDE in your JOURNEY, and be PROUD of every STEP you TAKE, towards your DESTINATION.”

“PEOPLE with INITIATIVE, are like YEAST in BREAD, they RISE to every OPPORTUNITY.”

“SUCCESS is the DEFINITION of placing EVERYTHING you HAVE, into ANYTHING you DO.”

“a BAD attitude ENDS the FUN, causing EVERYBODY to RUN, I don’t JOG, so I will SIT like a BUMP on a LOG, and WAIT for YOU to CHANGE it.”

“IF you don’t SPEAK the TRUTH today, your WORDS will be SPOKEN to DEAF ears TOMORROW.”

“NEVER allow FEAR of the WATER, to KEEP you on DRY land, the BIGGEST fish don’t SWIM close TO the SHORE.”

“SELF love is a QUALITY, that INSPIRES others to FOLLOW.”

“FAMILY are the STAKES in the FENCE, that KEEP you STANDING and SUPPORT you, even AFTER the STORM.”

“Don’t STEP into TRAFFIC for SOMEONE that threw YOU under the BUS already, because ONCE is EXPERIENCE and TWICE is STUPIDITY” (be smart).

“ANGER is UNHEALTHY, it’s always BEST to COOL your ENGINE, before you END up CRACKING your BLOCK, and CONSEQUENTLY, not going ANYWHERE.”

“A BAD attitude IS as USEFUL, as a FREE self ESTEEM seminar, TO a NARCISSIST.”

“Don’t EXPECT to CHERRY pick a WITHERED branch ON a BARREN tree, PEOPLES generosity EVENTUALLY runs OUT.”

“TO gain KNOWLEDGE is a GIFT, even if FAILURE was YOUR only TEACHER.”

“IT doesn’t TAKE broad SHOULDERS to CARRY a GRUDGE, a NARROW mind CAN hold ONTO one FOREVER.”

“KNOWLEDGE without COMMON sense is like, GOING deep SEA diving, WITHOUT a WET suit, or an AIR tank, just BECAUSE you READ the BOOK, doesn’t MEAN you UNDERSTOOD the INSTRUCTIONS.”

“Your INFLUENCE on others, CAN make THEIR troubles a SHORT journey, or a LONG haul, BE the FUEL that IGNITES the FIRE within THEM, when you CAN.”

“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING still WATERS run deep, WISDOM is KNOWING to WEAR a LIFE jacket, ON the RIVER” (because some folks can be smart and dumb, at the SAME time).

“There IS no INTERVAL, on the ROAD to SUCCESS, for A truly DEDICATED traveler.”

“LEADERSHIP without INTEGRITY, is LIKE being the CAPTAIN, aboard a SINKING ship.”

“YOU can GRAZE with the CATTLE, without BECOMING part OF the HERD” You DONT have to LIKE somebody, to LEARN from THEM.”

“PEOPLES negativity, SOMETIMES you HAVE to PULL the WEEDS, before they CHOKE your GARDEN, and PREVENT your HARVEST.” 

“a BAD attitude, IS as WELCOME as, a TWISTER at a TEXAS tailgate PARTY.” 

“FAMILY is LIKE a POT luck DINNER, you don’t HAVE to LIKE everything they BRING to the TABLE, to APPRECIATE the MEAL”

“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING that BIRDS travel in FLOCKS, wisdom is KNOWING to DUCK and COVER, when THEY take FLIGHT.” 

“A SMILE speaks KINDNESS, faster AND louder, THAN any WORDS could ever EMULATE.”

“LIFE is a BAKERY, with the OPPORTUNITY to break BREAD with the LESS fortunate, SPREAD kindness, like BUTTER.” 

“When OPPORTUNITY comes CALLING, you DONT send IT to VOICE mail, you ANSWER the PHONE.” 

“KNOWLEDGE without COMMON sense, IS like FILLING the GAS tank, on a TOTALED car.” 

“Taking someone’s KINDNESS for GRANTED, is LIKE eating SUPPER, without a dinner PRAYER.” 

“DISCRIMINATION can’t FLOURISH without PARTICIPATION, never WATER poison IVY, NIP it IN the BUD.” 

“YOU can’t PROFIT from the HARVEST, if YOU don’t PLANT the CROP.” 

“Don’t CRITICIZE today’s YOUTH, without REMEMBERING the GENERATION that RAISED them.” 

 “a JOURNEY without a DESTINATION is JUST a JOY ride, STAY focused ON your GOALS.” 

“Never ALLOW recess to INTERFERE with YOUR life’s PROGRESS, there is ALWAYS time to PLAY later.”

“FAMILY is THE only DEMOLITION crew, that can TEAR down a WALL, and SOMEBODY will come ALONG and REPLACE it, WITH a FENCE.” 

“A bad ATTITUDE is LIKE a HAIR, on THE morning HOTCAKES, because BOTH, are a GOOD excuse for EVERYBODY else to LEAVE.”

“DONT pack your BAGS, for somebody else’s GUILT trip, that’s NOT your LUGGAGE, and it AIN’T your TRIP either.”

“Don’t HIDE your PRIDE on the JOURNEY, be PROUD of EVERY step you TOOK, towards the DESTINATION.”

“COMMON sense IS like MOUTHWASH, the PEOPLE that NEED it the MOST, don’t USE it at ALL, but GET up IN your FACE anyway.”

“INTELLIGENCE can easily RECOGNIZE the SOUNDS of LAUGHTER, however WISDOM quickly DISTINGUISHES a SMILE, from a SMIRK.” 

“IGNORANCE speaks WITHOUT forethought however, INTELLIGENCE listens before SAYING a WORD.”

“APPRECIATE the JOURNEY, be GRATEFUL for the TRIP.”

“A HARD road PAVED, offers a DESTINATION to SUCCESS, for any DEDICATED traveler.”

“You don’t MEND fences WITH your NEIGHBOR, borrowing a LADDER, to STEAL fruit, FROM their TREE” (BE a MOOCHER).

“KNOWLEDGE is knowing TRAINS ride on TRACKS, WISDOM is KNOWING to STAY clear OF the railroad CROSSING, when you HEAR the WHISTLE blow.”

“DETERMINATION is the FAST lane, on the ROAD road to SUCCESS.”

“a BAD attitude, IS as WELCOME as a TWISTER at a TEXAS tailgate PARTY.”

“The words THANK YOU are the VOICE of GRATITUDE, don’t be AFRAID to SPEAK them, and SHOW your APPRECIATION.”

“YOU can be the WALLFLOWER that never DANCES, or YOU can BE the HUSTLE, that REFUSES to SIT.”

 “UNSOLICITED advice IS as WELCOME, as a Dallas DEADBEAT dad, attending HIS daughters, DEBUTANTE dance” Amen.

“You CAN’T be AFRAID of HEIGHTS, to CLIMB the LADDER of SUCCESS.”

“Don’t COME around to REAP the HARVEST, if YOU didn’t HELP planting the CROPS.”

“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING your FOOD has gone SOUR, WISDOM is KNOWING not to EAT it.”

“You DONT have TO be a MATHEMATICIAN to know, WALKING away from PROBLEMS, will NEVER solve THEM.”

“Unless YOU are EMPLOYED at a WASHATERIA, leave your DIRTY laundry at HOME, because NOBODY needs a STAINED reputation, at WORK.”

“KNOWLEDGE is knowing POISON ivy IS a plant, WISDOM is KNOWING to WALK around IT, not THROUGH it.”

“Don’t GET so BUSY financing your FUTURE, that you FORGET to ENJOY, your EXISTENCE.”

“God GAVE you a BRAIN to CONTROL your MOUTH, think FIRST before EXCERSIZING your FREEDOM of SPEECH.”

“You CANT climb the LADDER of SUCCESS riding SOMEBODY else’s COAT tails.”

“KNOWLEDGE is KNOWING how to GIVE someone CORRECT change, however WISDOM is KNOWING that every PENNY counts.”

“There is A little TRUTH to every JOKE, dont BECOME the PUNCHLINE.”

“Never ALLOW your MOUTH to WORK overtime, when your BRAIN is on a BREAK.”

Makenna was right about her mom. Hours after taking the twins to counseling, Cindy met me to go to the Group Home that Stephaney’s now living in. Our mission? A new bus pass, cigarettes and work clothes. Stephaney’s behavior? Shocking. Tapping her fingers and saying we were yelling, Cindy and I knew she had found drugs again. 

Like Cindy, I wondered how long it would be until Stephaney was homeless again due to her own choices. Talking in Spanish or yelling or mumbling, our visit was cut short. 

Driving away, we both wearily wondered how long it would be before Stephaney was kicked out? A call from the owner of the Group Home came at dinner. The owner, Angela said Stephaney was screaming and scaring other patients. Cindy and I knew that Stephaney would mess this up rather than looking for work and, we were right. 

We are off to meet clients today and trying to focus on work and clients rather than worrying about Stephaney as worrying hasn’t changed anything other than robbing us of sleep and peace of mind. Angela knows something is going on with Stephaney and, my niece is most likely going to be kicked out if the Group Home due to her choices. 

Tomorrow morning, Cindy and I are scheduled to go meet Angela and “discuss” Stephaney’s behavior. Neither Cindy or I are looking forward to this meeting. We are fearful of Stephaney being homeless awaiting sentencing for her DWI last February. Stephaney will deny drug use although we know the signs. We’ve seen the anger and hostility. We’ve weathered the storms of having an addict for a family member. I don’t know how my grandma Tinney dealt with our mom for all those years. I know this though, eventually our mother and her demons sent grandmother to an early grave. Cindy and I must “toughen up” regarding Stephaney. Crying hasn’t solved any of the problems and heartache my niece has brought to our lives. Tough love isn’t easy. It’s painful and it’s emotionally debilitating. 

We hope you find a particular quote you fall in love with too. I’m certain Cindy will come up with a few new ones just in time for the holidays….

Your COMFORT Zone Is BARREN Land- Don’t PLANT Yourself In It And Expect GROWTH…

My sister actually used this quote on a radio interview with me. As usual, it took me a few minutes to understand the meaning. Cindy is a “Wizard Of Words.” Throughout our lives, diversity and determination have always saved us. How? We don’t limit solutions to problems in traditional terms. What does this mean? Well, while others might have given up, we got up, dusted ourselves off and trudged on. 

Failure isn’t an option. We left home at an early age and effectively “figured it out.” We didn’t have anyone to call for help which is why I started Texas Twins Events in 2009 when my husband lost his business in the real estate crash of 2007. It isn’t easy to “figure it out” when you go from $300k a year to zero but, I did. 

During the same window, Cindy’s husband was laid off after 23 years at Albertsons. The timing was terrible for the Texas Twins because we were already raising Cindy’s twin granddaughters, Maryssa and Makenna without benefit of child support. 

Figuring it out required selling everything we owned and learning using our product knowledge to “flip for profit.” In always asked how we came up with the barter idea. The answer? Experience. 

My husband and I sold our furniture, my furs and jewelry, couture clothing from my twenty plus years as a model and eventually our cars and even our custom home. 

Cindy did the same and although it was the first time in our lives that both of us were having a difficult time, we survived. Eventually, we also replaced everything we had lost too. Material possessions aren’t important in the scheme of things but, losing everything you’ve worked for is an eye opener. 

Taking our own experiences of “selling everything on eBay,” I learned how to refurbish antiques and furniture while Cindy learned about jewelry and precious metal. This knowledge was how we managed to start buying trades and refurbishing them by 2008 and making really good money. How good? Up to twenty times our original investment. 

Experience had presented us with a unique opportunity to make money on the side flipping items at Texas Twins Treasures. By 2009, my husband was back at work developing the Parker County Airport and building custom hangars that doubled as homes. 

By mid 2009, I was no longer worried about money, I continued to flip items for fun and additional income. Cindy’s husband, Steve had taken a job for Halliburton in Iraq as a fuel tank driver and was making far more than his old job at Albertsons but, with our husbands back at work, the Texas Twins were determined to put as much money back into savings as we could by continuing to flip items on eBay. We became workaholics because we never expected our husbands to be unemployed. 

My husband and I decided to sell our custom home that we had built at cost in order to downsize. I actually resented our dream home after years of fighting to save it and only miss the swimming pool. 

I was struggling with thyroid cancer by the time we sold our home and had jokingly told my sister who was helping me make all of the flowers for my son’s wedding, “if I survive this, we are using a chunk of my house money and starting a low cost Events business for people like us who can’t afford traditional price structures.” 

Cindy laughed because my sons wedding was one of the single hardest weddings I’ve ever done. In two thousand Events, that’s actually saying a lot. We decided on Texas Twins Events the same way we had decided on Texas Twins Treasures by kicking names around. 

My “idea” paid off. People came to me with all sorts of creative requests and although I had planned on weddings alone, Cindy and I found ourselves liquidating Clients homes and storage units at estate sales, handling baptisms and funerals and even consigning items for sale at Texas Twins Treasures. 

Based on my client base, in 2014, I decided to merge Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create The Pawning Planners. 

When a client wanted video for her event, we added Texas Twins TV. 

When another client wanted an Officiant for her Prison wedding, I became a Texas Department Of Criminal Justice Approved Officiant and branched Texas Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham off Texas Twins Events. 

Having lunch with Cindy one day after a huge wedding and reception we were working at Stockyards Station, Cindy gave me one of her “busy Quotes.” Stirring my unsweet tea with lemon, I came up wit yet another idea for Pawning Planner Clients who had nothing of value to trade and… Pawning Planners Apparel was created to specifically fund clients with no money to book services or anything of value to barter. 

Although I had never planned on Maryssa and Makenna becoming part of our Texas Twins Events Team, Clients hired them as flower girls and ring bearers at hundreds of our events. Two sets of twins working Events together? You bet. We’ve been having fun together for eight years now. Demand for custom Pawning Planners Apparel in numerous languages is why we expanded our line to include custom options. 

Sales of Pawning Planners Apparel have funded up to 12 families every year. Sponsoring families from sales at Texas Twins Treasures shocks our competition but, we work to help anyone. Our most best selling tees are back in stock just in time for the holidays.

Not knowing that expanding Texas Twins Events to include Texas Prison Weddings would be such a “boom to my business,” it’s surprising that TDCJ Weddings compromise 75% of my personal bookings now with traditional event services taking up about 15% and bartered event services rounding out the gap. 

Monday through Friday, Cindy and I are traveling across Texas to meet and appraise items offered for barter or traveling to a Texas Prison. Saturday and Sunday, we are on location at Texas Twins Events and Pawning Planners Events. We work seven days a week together. When my niece Leigh Ann is booked for photography, Cindy joins me on location as the photographer but, her real talent is entertainment. Cindy is hilarious and loves nothing more than visiting on location. 

We are back at Bell Tower Chapel, AT&T Stadium, Mercado Event Center and Allred, Estes, Coffield and Parker County Units over the next two weeks so we are rolling into December staying busy. 

Since I’ve been asked about writing blogs on my iPhone, the answer yes, I always use my phone app and never use a computer for blogs. 

In fact, I’m sitting in front of Willow Lake Event Center writing this blog waiting on the wedding party. 

We are now restocked on our brooch bouquets and thank you for shopping with us at Texas Twins Treasures.Please allow 6-8 weeks for custom orders on brooch bouquets. 

Hoping you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and I’m thankful that tough times taught Cindy and I resilience. 

Had we not experienced what we had, I’m fairly certain that flipping, swapping and trading might never have occurred to us when I started Texas Twins Treasures…

Buying A Ticket To The Movie Doesn’t Make You The Star Of The Show…

Like many folks close to my age, I was raised to honor the flag and Military as well as bow my head to pray in church. Our children and grandchildren have been raised with the same beliefs. 

Perhaps because I’m old enough to remember when holding a door open was a common courtesy and addressing anyone from the janitor to the president as sir or ma’am, today’s blog is a mix of what I’ve seen and heard the past few years and a trend that continues to shock me. 

From the headlines, anyone in another country might assume that the U.S. is torn in two parts. I have friends in other countries who watch the headlines and contact me to see if said stories are true or not with everyone now second guessing “fake news.” Who could blame them? 

The news is no longer about small communities anymore or feel good stories either. These days, the more “gripping” a headline is, the more viewers will tune in.

In today’s “cell phone society,” everyone pays far more attention to their phones rather than actual people. 

Reality tv is equally shocking with the only real memory I have before changing the channel years ago of Jersey Shore was a girl getting punched in the face. Subsequently, the girl became famous. Shocking right? In the wrong place at the wrong time or in the right place at the wrong time? Your guess is as good as mine. 

Television shows these days are becoming as shocking as a few of the cartoons. Violence, arguments, drunken brawls and infidelity rule the plot lines. Gone are the days of real reality with scripted reality becoming the new norm. Was someone paid to punch Snooki? The world may never know. 

Yesterday on LinkedIn, a post regarding the Kardashian sisters dressing up as Victoria Secret Angels followed up a previous post a few weeks back about the financial success of a family who became famous for their derrières and a sex tape of Kim? How is something that most people would be embarrassed about propelling this family into millionaires? 

The saga of teen stars becoming addicts is alarming. The pop stars that become paychecks for their families is equally confusing. The rag mags have blazing headlines of stars who turned their backs on family members without documenting why. There’s a story there but, the real story is hidden from public consumption. 

Headlines and news releases aside, anyone logging into LinkedIn, FB, Instagram, Google Plus or even the internet news is flooded with disruption. The depressing reality is that there are so few feel good stories these days that no one even bothers to write them anymore. 

Taking a knee or riots blaze across television sets across America while confused Americans head off to work to earn money and pay their bills, others believe they should be entitled to free healthcare and college. What the? 

My son, nieces and grandnieces were taught to stand for the Pledge as I did and they were taught to hold the door for others as I was. Our children were taught to respect their elders. 

But, raising children today is significantly different than it was years ago. We were raised with values from a single parent. 

Our father had a village to help in Lompoc but, when he moved us to Oklahoma, my aunt Mill and uncle Bob who had no children of their own, became the village on weekends. My father worked and our mother wasn’t a part of our lives. 

In Lompoc, we had two sets of grandparents and more aunts and uncles than I could ever keep up with looking after us. ALL of our relatives had different faiths and religious preferences and all of them prayed before meals and went to church on Sunday’s. 

Uncle Bob and aunt Mill were strict. They had been brought up in strict households and every meal began with a prayer. You always addressed them as sir or ma’am and when in public, “children should be seen and not heard.” Heaven forbid that you were to ask for something checking out of a store! 

Many people assume that having a parent at home and the other parent working gives children “a fresh start.”

In my case, having responsibilities after school WAS my fresh start. My sister and I cooked and cleaned and did our schoolwork. There wasn’t recess when returning home from school because there was responsibility. 

The controversy over two working parents or a stay at home parent had no impact on my siblings and I whatsoever because we didn’t have a parent at home. When we arrived home from school, our job was homework and chores. There wasn’t any “free time” or idle hands. 

My husband had plenty of “free time” and idle hands with questionable choices for friends. 

It’s shocking that my 67 year old husband was a juvenile delinquent but, true. With no one other than his maid to give him attention, Matthew found fun and excitement on the wrong side of town. He often used church as an excuse to his parents to run off and start a bonfire while drinking beer at 12 years old. 

Back in the “old days” Matthew lived with both parents but, his mother was a raging alcoholic who took little or no interest in him and his father was always at work or the country club. 

My husband frequently skipped school and “ran around with the wrong crowd.” But, the maid was the only parental figure in his life and because of this, he had the ability to run wild without any real consequences. 

My husband’s memories of riding around on his motorbike at 4AM in the morning with his hooligan friends eventually came to an end when he was called to the kitchen for a conversation with his father. 

It was a life changing conversation. “Son, you are skipping school and running around drinking beer with a bunch of losers. They aren’t ever going to amount to anything and, if you keep this up, you won’t either. It’s high time you got a job to keep you busy. I’m not buying gas for you anymore. If you want to go somewhere, you’re going to have to work to afford it. There aren’t any free rides in life. You make the choice. You are at a fork in the road and it’s time to choose your path. I know you weren’t in church last week praising God where you should have been.” 

My husband discussed this memorable conversation with my son late one Christmas Eve while he was out with his friends past 10PM and I was losing my mind not knowing if he was dead or alive. The cell phone I paid for went unanswered for hours after 10PM that night. I will never forget it. Not knowing where your child is or who he’s with is a horrible reality. 

What had happened to my well mannered son who was always home by 10? A car. For his 16th birthday, we had bought him a car without forcing him to get a job to buy gas. 

Sounds insignificant but, giving a car to your teenager or in my husband’s case, a motorcycle, gives them a window of wildness. 

Like Matthews father, I had my son get a job to occupy his free time and also had him pay his own insurance and buy his own gas. 

Late night escapades came to a hault when I also decided to lock the house and set the alarm at 10PM. If my son wasn’t home by 10, he slept in his car. 

Cindy had bought both of her daughters car after car. Stephaney continued to wreck hers while Leigh Ann took great care of her vehicles and paid for her own gas and insurance. 

Handing a sixteen year old “kid” keys to a car should come with a certain degree of responsibility. I’m saying this from experience. 

No one “gave” me a car. I worked for and bought my own. You respect something far more when it isn’t given to you. Trust me.

Today’s younger generation has become far more focused on getting their “fifteen minutes of fame” for risqué or questionable behavior. 

Social media has created a circus of youtubers and Instagram posts of half nude Kardashians and other questionable media. Getting rich and famous from promiscuous behavior is the shocking reality of society. What is it teaching our children? The wrong things.

For parents and grandparents, teaching our children and grandchildren the virtues of hard work paying off while honoring God and country is becoming far more rare among other teens and young adults these days. 

The twins have lived with Maddy since she was born at my sister house. Maddy’s mom, Leigh Ann came home pregnant nearly four years ago while her husband was stationed in the Navy. 

It was a high risk pregnancy and Leigh Ann wanted the same OB/GYN that had delivered the twins. She came home and had the baby and had been home since then awaiting orders for Alex. Cindy and I love having a baby again and we will be crushed when Leigh Ann and Maddy leave. 

Having all three of her granddaughters under one roof as well as her daughter Leigh Ann is why many of my twin sisters quotes are about family and occasionally the circus with a carnival atmosphere at here home aka “The Daniel Diva Diggs.” My sister has a FULL HOUSE. As children, my sister, brother and I spent Sunday’s in church and visits to older members of family part of a weekly routine. 

Children were raised to pray, Pledge the flag and respect their elders. Children were taught to address adults as ma’am or sir. Children were brought up with discipline in the 60’s and 70’s.

As an adult, I’ve witnessed children yelling at their parents in public and behaving in a manner of complete disrespect with helpless parents who are unwilling to discipline them “accepting” that their children are “independent individuals.” 

Children aren’t “independent” because they are dependent on their parents for food, clothing and a place to live. 

My niece, Leigh Ann is raising her daughter as a “free spirit.” Madyson is adorable but, also likes to throw things and has a pretty good arm. Maddy is animated, curious and full of energy at ALL TIMES. Young Madyson is the center of attention to her papa and her cousins as well as her MeMe and I. All of us rally around Maddy. My son and his wife may never have children because the odds are heavy that they will have twins. 

Young Madyson was a gift to not only her parents but also, Cindy and I who never expected to be gifted with another baby after the twins. 

Leigh Ann won’t be having more children due to the many health issues of her pregnancy with Maddy. 

Like her mother, Maddy has a wild mop of curly hair that she hates to have brushed. 

Leigh Ann straightens hers now but as a child was often compared to Shirley Temple. It takes a village and, we have one for young Madyson but, when Leigh Ann moves with her husband, the village will be left behind in Texas for the move to California. Cindy and I worry constantly about this. I can’t bear to say goodbye to Maddy. Neither can Cindy. 

My twin and I have both given little Maddy a “pop” on the bottom here and there to teach her boundaries and also because throwing things or hitting people isn’t acceptable behavior. 

Leigh Ann doesn’t believe in discipline because she wants Madyson to “be an individual and express herself.” It’s an ongoing battle. 

Maddy likes to chase my dog, Foxy around the house. Foxy is old and prefers to lounge around. Telling young Maddy not to chase Foxy is an ongoing escapade. 

But, Maddy is precocious. Foxy has learned to hide in my office or one of our three living area/den rooms to “catch a break.” At three, Maddy is such a handful that if she had been a twin, I don’t believe I could babysit both of them at the same time. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandniece but, Maryssa and Makenna were raised by their grandmother and, they were raised with rules. 

The twins didn’t run from you at a store or scream “no” when you told them to stop doing what they were doing either. Maddy is a handful. 

I worry when Maddy’s father Alex is stationed at Oxnard next year if Alex and Leigh Ann will be able to keep up with Maddy in public. My sister is worried too. In a flash, Maddy is on the run and focused on having fun without worrying where her family is. 

Maddy is fearless and the controversy over a leash in public was brought to my attention on Quora a few months ago when someone asked my opinion. 

My opinion has been upvoted over 1200 times. The explanation? “If the child is in a crowded area such as Disneyland and the caretaker cannot physically keep up with the child or if the children are multiples, I see no issue with a leash in public. 

My grandniece is a handful and without her “backpack buddy,” nearly impossible to keep up with. 

My twin grandnieces also wore “backpack buddies” years ago because one would run in one direction while the other ran off in another direction. 

As parents, guardians and grandparents, keeping up with a child is a necessity not a choice. If a leash or backpack keeps your child from getting lost or running in front of a car- use it! 

Public “opinion” regarding leashes isn’t going to protect your child from getting lost in a crowd. 

As an adult, it’s your responsibility and, if you need a leash, you should use it to control your child in crowded areas. 

Also, if you happen to be physically disabled, you cannot run after a child in public. My twin sister has 12lbs of metal fusing her spine. 

Running after the twins or Maddy isn’t even on the table. Cindy can’t run. Cindy is thankful to be able to walk after an accident that crushed her between her car and a gas pump. My sister spent two years unable to walk following the surgery. 

I posted a photo of Maddy with her backpack buddy on the Quora post. Look closely at young Maddy (far right) and she’s wearing her backpack buddy in Santa Monica. Why? To keep from running into the ocean and getting away from us. Maryssa and Makenna were raised with limits and rewards for good behavior. Maddy has been raised with rewards regardless of her behavior. 

The differences in behavior between Maddy and the twins at the same age are remarkable.  The twins would have never run from Cindy or I in public. Maddy runs all the time.

This morning while answering my McConnell Unit client about her wedding next Tuesday in a Texas Prison, I flipped on the news with my morning coffee. 

As usual, doom and gloom filled the room. Today’s topic? Taking a knee. How anyone can become famous for being controversial I have no idea but, as an employee, you should have a “Code Of Conduct” when representing your employer. 

This is common sense to me but, then again, if this cheerleader was drunk or beating someone up I wonder if she would have wound up on headlines? 

Taking a knee in front of children and others is setting a bad example. After all, aren’t you representing an American sport? One that folks have spent money to attend in the first place? 

I no longer watch the Emmy’s or other award shows although I did for a number of years. Why? Because I don’t want to hear a stars political views and I’m guessing many others don’t either. 

Simply because you are famous and in the entertainment industry, don’t assume that everyone thinks you are a genius and believe in your opinions. They don’t. You are losing half or more of your audience because you can’t keep your mouth shut while thanking people and accepting your award. 

Be graceful, the general public will appreciate you far more for staying focused on why you were there rather than why they wished you would’ve just zipped it. Rating are down because people are sick and tired of having political jargon shoved down their throats at every turn. 

Whether you are famous or not, not everyone supports your theories or your beliefs. It’s common sense but, while some may think they are untouchable, the truth is that America is sick and tired of political rants. 

Regardless of your beliefs or political affiliation or even your religious preference, public displays regarding politics like taking a knee are becoming more and more common. 

So common in fact that I find myself wondering why these people aren’t getting fired for using their job as a political platform. 

I discussed this taking a knee issue with my husband this morning while answering emails. The news reporter continued raising her voice to such an extent that he changed the channel. 

My husband’s “take” on this? “If I were to do anything controversial in my role as a Vice President, I would be fired immediately. The people who continue to dishonor Flag and Country are Americans. If they don’t like America, they should move or find another job that isn’t public. 

If I were at a game that I paid good money to attend, the LAST THING I want to see is someone protesting. At NASCAR, there isn’t ANYONE there who doesn’t pray before the race or stand for the flag. 

What makes NASCAR different? Hard working Americans that love the sport and for some reason are considered to be rednecks. They aren’t. I’m not a redneck. I’m an educated land developer and builder that was raised to honor my elders, respect the flag and pray. You can’t fix stupid. No one can.”

Roseanne shoots her mouth off and apologizes. Others shoot their mouth off and then, apologize. How about not shooting your mouth off and saving the apology. 

If these folks realized that they aren’t Gods and just regular people who got lucky enough to make a good living, they might finally figure out that not everyone shares their beliefs and not everyone accepts their apology. Especially the sponsors.

My husband prays everyday. He stands for the pledge too. My husband holds the door daily for people who don’t bother to thank him and wonders why. After all, it’s not his job to stand there holding the door because you’re busy on a cell phone. 

I hold doors to people who ignore me too so I know where he’s coming from. Every weekend during race season, my husband enjoys NASCAR. 

When it’s not race season, the Golf Channel is always on. We have both become sick of the evening news and like many others no longer watch it. 

These days, even holding the door for a stranger or standing so the elderly can sit is far less common. It’s the “me generation.” 

Everyone is in a hurry and everyone thinks they are more important than others but, they aren’t. “Class can’t be bought- it must be taught.”

My belief is that as Americans we should respect police officers and military members who sacrifice everyday to keep the rest of America safe. 

But, not everyone shares my opinion. What happened to cause this “shift in society?” I have no idea.My cousins, Albert and James (photo above taken by Leigh Ann Blais), attended church with my sister, brother and I as children and also respect the flag. 

Taking a knee during the pledge? Unheard of. Being celebrated for doing so? Shocking. Blocking traffic to protest and destroying property? Illegal. I was in California during the riots when everyone was terrified to leave their homes. 

This destruction must stop. Whatever you are upset about- destroying property and putting others in danger because you are upset about this or that is childish and reckless. Go volunteer. Go out some effort into helping others. 

In my opinion, if you are working for someone else, you are representing their organization. As such, your behavior reflects directly on the organization. 

If your behavior is reckless, I won’t work with you. I don’t deal with Diva’s because I don’t have to. I’m picky about who I take on as a client because I can be. 

All of my clients sign a contract. Why? Because THEIR BEHAVIOR reflects on me. Last year, numerous people in a wedding party were arrested. The wedding party became involved in a drunken brawl. 

I now REQUIRE EVENT SECURITY with Open Bars based on my experience at out of control celebrations that end in violence. I’m too old to break up a bar room brawl and I’m not going to put my staff at risk of being hurt with flying chairs or wine glasses either. 

Nothing is worth getting hurt over in the event industry. I don’t HAVE TO WORK because my husband earns a good living. I work because I enjoy working but, if I can’t come home from an event without cuts, bruises and scrapes from an unexpected drunk guest, it’s not worth leaving my home to put myself in a dangerous situation. 

Dealing with drunks isn’t something I choose to handle alone. Hence the required event security measures. 

Chaos is also taking over at public schools to such an extent that I’m thankful we are homeschooling the twins to keep them away from the violence and drugs that have taken over the once reliable and predictable school system. 

In the “old days,” the pledge began our day in school. Children were raised to honor the flag. Both have gone out the window. Rowdy children with overworked and underpaid teachers have made public school dangerous. The wrong kids can sway the right kids into bad choices.

There are people who risk their lives everyday to keep America safe. From Police to First Responders to Firefighters and Military Personnel, these heros sacrifice on a daily basis to protect civilians. I can assure you that you will most likely never see one of them “taking a knee.” 

Politics have taken over social media and even the steets these days to such an extent that a few days ago while visiting with my Hutchins State Jail Bride, my doorbell was rung by a solicitor. 

Interrupting my meeting and walking past my posted “No Soliciting” sign, this intruder wanted “to discuss who I’m voting for and make suggestions?” I was less than friendly regarding explaining why knocking on my door to profess her opinions and beliefs in an attempt to alter my own was an unwelcome interruption.

My phone dings constantly for either my husband, Matthew or I from political organizations regarding voting. As God fearing Americans, I can assure you that texts, phone calls, emails and even personal visits to my home are not going to “guide” my privledge of voting. 

My husband and I both voted early and knew the direction we believed in was right for us. I don’t discuss politics or religion EVER on social media or websites. Why? It’s no ones business who I choose to vote for or which faith I follow that’s why.

As a child, protests were peaceful. I remember seeing “Save The Whales” picketers on the pier where we were going fishing and no one was throwing rocks or destroying property. 

Peaceful Protests were actually “peaceful.” These folks had a firm belief in their cause and weren’t violent in any way, shape or form. They got “the word out” without force.  

What happened to change the dynamics of our society to such an extent that violence had to be a part of it? I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why most of my feeds contain political rants either. 

This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever seen such negativity. It scares me to think that it’s where we are headed as a society. Whether you are Democratic or Republican, your political affiliation has nothing to do with my friendship or being part of your event services. I don’t ask because it’s none of my business. Please don’t ask me.

A few years ago, the Parker County Clerk refused to issue a marriage license to my clients, Kat and Tiffany McKay. They called me to ask what could be done? I suggested a peaceful protest. 

Two days later, they had their license. Not by being violent either. They sat and they waited and they patiently were finally issued a marriage license by the clerk “who didn’t believe in gay marriage.” 

As a public official, your opinion regarding same sex marriage shouldn’t factor into your job. Parker County had a few hurdles on issuing marriage licenses– Parker County, Texas LBGT Marriage.

Whether you believe in same sex marriage or prisoners having the right to marry, your opinion doesn’t affect the laws giving permission to these groups the right to marry. 

I know, I know, you feel strongly about it. So strongly that you contact me regarding your beliefs or your religious preference. Please stop. Your opinion doesn’t reflect my own or my clients. 

Being “outed” by Jeff Mosier years ago in the Dallas Morning News, I had no idea that so many people had an issue with LBGT Marriage until they began contacting me. Who would?I was shocked and dismayed that anyone reading that article would take time out of their day to attempt to convince me that welcoming ANY CLIENT was wrong. Much less that loving and welcoming anyone and everyone as a client would be “controversial.”

For me, and my family, we were not only offended by such distractions but also confused as to why someone felt so strongly about a union that had no effect on them? 

If you “don’t believe in LBGT Marriage or Prisoners having the right to marry,” that’s you baggage not mine. The law says differently. 

Prisoners and LBGT Couples have the Legal Right to marry. Public opinion won’t change that. 

My saucy sister came up with a quote to voice the opinion after reading one ten page letter sent to me by a self professed Christian was turned over to the Fort Worth PD. What was it? “Not my LUGGAGE Not my TRIP.” 

If you have opinions regarding my clients or their partners, keep it to yourself. We love everyone. 

We embrace our unique clients and their story. We don’t care where they came from or what makes them different. We were raised to love everyone and, we do.I’m certain my grandniece, Makenna will ask me about this cheerleader. Makenna follows the news and is curious about why everyone is so angry about politics. 

Like most fourteen year olds, Makenna is confused by the headlines these days or why the pledge and prayers were removed from classrooms. 

I’m not looking forward to answering the question quite frankly. Explaining the behavior of others or the well publicized “Stars” who get arrested or OD or run around half naked isn’t an easy conversation. 

I can’t explain to my grandniece why people make the decisions or choices they do. No one can. My guess is the publicity but, who knows? 

I’m driving to my niece, Stephaney’s court appointed attorney this morning in a jam packed day full of client meetings and weddings at a Prison and County Jail as well as getting bids on braces for Maryssa. Makenna can’t wait to get her braces off and Maryssa can’t wait to get her braces on.

I explained to Maryssa that braces are a luxury that not everyone can afford. Cindy and I wanted braces but, our father couldn’t afford them. Love is sacrifice. Cindy sacrifices everyday to provide for her twin granddaughters.  

Yesterday, I went back to JPS/LCA to pick up a letter for Stephaney’s attorney explaining where she is and more importantly, why she will miss her pretrial hearing Monday. 

Since Stephaney was Involuntarily Committed, the letter reads “Work/School Excuse” which is somewhat confusing and I’m not sure appropriate for Criminal Court. 

However, getting documentation from a Mental Institute for a Court isn’t as cut and dry as it might sound. Due to patient confidentiality, many Psych Wards are leery to release ANY information. 

It is my hope and prayer that Stephaney is sentenced to treatment but, it’s something that neither her mother or I can control. 

As parents and guardians to Stephaney’s twin daughters, our role is to focus on the twins and let the chips fall where they may regarding the past year of their mothers escapades across Fort Worth and Weatherford.

Responsibility for your actions generally is a “wake up” call. It was for my husband and it was for my son but, for my niece, Stephaney, it hasn’t been. Stephaney has had opportunity after opportunity to fly right but, chose not to. 

Cindy and I have been told we enabled her to continue to make mistakes by picking her up when she fell. Perhaps we tried to hard to set her on a path of a successful life? We tried.

Stephaney had what we didn’t. People who cared and were determined to save her. In a few weeks, Cindy and I will be fifty four years old. 

For fourteen years, we have raised Stephaney’s twin daughters without benefit of child support. Love is sacrifice. 

We’ve decided that it’s time to love Stephaney from a distance. It’s a difficult and painful decision but, if we don’t cut the strings, we both fear Stephaney will never be self reliant. One day, Cindy and I won’t be here to pick up the pieces…

The Ping Pong Table Proposal- Risk Or Reward And The Realities Of Actual Value…

Sunday afternoon leaving JPS/LCA in Fort Worth, I headed to Bedford to go view a proposed barter through The Pawning Planners.

The truth is that ping pong tables have a very wide range of value. From $95 to over $10k, the demand for an expensive ping pong table is actually a good market to flip the “right item.”

Since my client had no idea of the actual manufacturer since this was a handcrafted item, I decided to leave the stress of dropping off more clothing to my niece, Stephaney who as been involuntarily committed again behind and go check it out.

Cindy was busy in Weatherford working another event with Leigh Ann although she normally goes with me to Appraisal Appointments to “walk a trade.”

My son and his wife were in Arlington working a wedding since October is a really busy month in Texas for weddings. 

My client and I had already decided that if the barter worked, I would pick it up later this week with help from my son. 

I always review information pertaining to trades prior to meeting prospects in person. If I’m unfamiliar with the value of an item, educating myself beforehand saves me money. Based on the actual condition, I had put this particular trade at under $1200 but, based on my research, similar tables to the handcrafted one submitted varied wildly. 

A few years ago, my husband bought the table below to entertain my twin grandnieces at our other custom home. With three living areas, I had decided to transform our loft into a playroom. 

When we moved, I was surprised at how difficult it was to find the right buyer and also at the loss we wound up taking by giving it away due to my inability to find a buyer. Yep. It was a flop. But, the orphanage who contacted me to donate it would have a good home for it. 

Over the years, I’ve had a few “flips and flops” when dealing with tires or even mechanical issues when trading for a vehicle. Because of this, I’m now really cautious.

A few years ago, I took a bartered SUV and had planned to give it to my brother in law, Steve Daniel. The inspection sticker was out but, I didn’t realize there were solid reasons why until “the deal was done.”

Over $4k of repairs later, I learned the hard way that if a vehicle isn’t running and doesn’t have current inspection- there’s a good reason!

I should have dumped that SUV right off the bat and cut my losses but, I was determined to get it running and while doing so, bled money. I will never do that again. 

Steve now drives my husband’s Toyota Tundra truck. My husband and I gave Steve the truck two years ago when buying my husband a new SUV. 

Just a few months ago, Cindy and I took a trade of four VW Jetta tires and rims. The rims and tires seemed to be in good condition but, we aren’t mechanics. 

My plan to put the VW tires on my niece, Stephaney’s Honda Accord didn’t “pan out.” Why? Two of the VW rims had been bent and were unusable. Because of this, Cindy and I were AGAIN out the investment and had to buy four new rims and tires for the Honda. I’m now more than a little apprehensive regarding cars, boats or rims and tires. Experience is a good teacher.

The barter of the ping pong table was in exchange for a family reunion with catering for 35-40 people. We had agreed to barbecue without alcoholic beverages. I don’t include Open Bars on ANY BARTER. My reasons for this should be self explanatory but, I will go into detail. An Open Bar REQUIRES event security. Also, a bartender and other hefty expenses. If you’d like to provide alcohol at your event, it’s at your own expense. 

The ping pong table that I’ve actually been looking for hasn’t come through The Pawning Planners in the last four years. 

I saw one years ago that held my interest at a billiard store while looking at pool tables for my husband. 

It was beautiful but, it was also several thousand dollars and after discussing how much time my husband would actually spend playing pool or ping pong, not worth the investment at the time.Arriving at my destination, Mary greeted me in the driveway to walk to the guest house and walk the trade. The condition wasn’t an issue as she had kept it in a covered and climate controlled area. 

Finding the right buyer though might be a bit of a hurdle. Due to the expense of moving and storing it while trying to locate a buyer, Mary and I decided that I would list it and find a buyer for her in exchange for a sellers commission.Moving an item this large and storing it is a hefty investment. Because of this, I often find other solutions. This is a very sturdy and well made table but, it doesn’t break down for storage or moving.

I decided to discount her initial fee to coordinate and find catering for her family reunion instead. Many people contact me to sell their items for them but, selling takes time and effort. It requires answering inquiries and paying listing fees which is why I no longer sell for others because I’m so good at it.

I can sell items for others for a fee. For years, people telling me that they don’t know how to list something have taken advantage of my good nature. They walk away with the money while I’m saddled with all of the work.

Selling on eBay carries the risk of not knowing whether or not the buyer will change their mind.

Keeping 100% feedback on eBay is nearly impossible but, since 2009 I have. How? Exceeding buyers expectations. 

Between Ebay and Paypal, sellers fees aren’t inexpensive but, Ebay offers the quality buyers that Craigslist doesn’t. 

No one wants strangers wandering around their home and I don’t either. We store large items in climate controlled storage which is al fairly expensive. 

Delivery of Texas Twins Treasures items is available within 2 hours of DFW for a fee.

Although we don’t pay packaging and freight, we are happy to meet YOUR FREIGHT COMPANY in Fort Worth, Texas.

All is well that ends well and the right buyer will love this table. 

I’m headed to several units the next two weeks for Texas Department Of Criminal Justice Weddings.

Have a great week… 

Having A Bad Attitude Is Like Wearing Sweaty Socks– They Both Stink And Only You Can Change Them…

My twin sister, Cindy Daniel is never at a loss for words. There may be a lot of inspirational quotes on Twitter but, none are as popular as the original and creative #Cindyism Quotes. Why? Because Cindy said it first. 

Although we are twins, I’ve never been hilarious. I’m OCD and constantly stressed out about everything in my life. 

For over a year now, my dad and niece have only added to my hypertension. Cindy uses humor to deal with the drama. Laughter IS HER medicine. For the past month, we have been busier than a highway flagger with the hives or rope at a rodeo. Stacking up Events prior to heading to California for Destination Events and booking up our schedules in Texas has left Cindy and I with little or no time to catch our breath.

Yesterday as I headed to Tennessee Colony to meet my TDCJ Michael Unit bride for photos before heading to the Unit, Cindy was headed to meet my father at a Fort Worth hospital for a stent. I was concerned about this because dad can be a handful. 

Late Monday afternoon, Cindy finally got a call from her daughter, Stephaney who has been missing since last Saturday. As expected, Stephaney was involuntarily committed at John Petersmith hospital. 

This call came in to Cindy AFTER I had met my niece, Leigh Ann at El Fenix for lunch to ask what exactly had happened while we were in Los Angeles. The manager, a friend from Stephaney’s job at El Fenix in Weatherford was still upset about what he had seen. 

Mariah, a friend of my sons saw it all. She joined Leigh Ann and I at our table to discuss what Stephaney was doing at the time of Stephaney’s subsequent detention. “Shadow boxing trees, yelling it’s the end of the world, dancing in front of cars and screaming at passers by including guests of El Fenix. It’s the worst that I have ever seen your niece behave and I’ve seen a lot. She needs help and I hope she gets it. I’m so sorry for your family.” 

What Mariah didn’t know was that while dealing with Stephaney, we’ve also been dealing with my dad. 

Leigh Ann and I were shocked at this description of my niece outside El Fenix. Stephaney has been off her meds over a month. Why? Because she was squatting at an estate next door to me since April and after dancing in the streets near my home, drew attention to herself to such an extent that neighbors finally located the owner. 

The medications? Lithium and Seroquil to name the two most important stabilizing medications. 

Having my niece squatting next door and behaving erratically for six months was Hell. In April and May, Stephaney had a good paying job in fact, the best job she has ever had but, by mid May, Stephaney was accusing other servers of being FBI Agents spying on her and management of trying to poison her. By June, Stephaney was unemployed and OUT OF CONTROL. 

Looking for my niece when Cindy and I weren’t working became a regular occurrence. So regular that homeless people knew who we were and who we were looking for. Cindy and I bought food and cigarettes for Stephaney in between involuntary commitments to numerous Psych Wards. From April to now, Stephaney has involuntarily committed NINE TIMES.

Whenever we can’t locate my niece, we automatically assume she’s been hauled off to the nut house again. The problem is that Stephaney can’t call for three days and wondering if she’s dead or alive is stressful.

My FB Memories popped up again last night and exactly four years ago, Cindy and I were headed to Oklahoma to move Stephaney from Cotton County Jail to Court Ordered Rehab that I had paid for. It’s tragic but true that as usual, Cindy and I had hoped this stint in jail and treatment would “snap Stephaney out of it.” 

For three years after treatment, Stephaney was stable. This “break” gave us false hope that Stephaney would finally get her life together but, we were wrong again. 

Now that Stephaney is “stuck” at the crazy house with a court date on November 5th, Cindy and I will be spending today at the courthouse trying to find information on contacting her court appointed attorney. Why? Because when you are in a nut house you can’t leave for a court hearing. 

Today is chock full of addressing (as usual) our dad’s needs, running to my chiropractor and picking up items for tomorrow’s wedding at TDCJ Beto Unit and the courthouse for Stephaney as well as running to the cleaners, fixing my broken glasses and going by Willow Lake Event Center.

Outside of Corsicana yesterday, Cindy sent me a text regarding a nurse concerned that dad was senile. For a year now, dad has been acting more than a little “odd.” But, he has kept his theories to mostly family members and apparently only yesterday began discussing the poison gas that intruders he believes are living in his attic have been pumping into his home and his car. 

Not surprisingly, Cindy was concerned that now a medical professional was aware of this issue outside of Wellbridge where our dad was committed last July for shooting at the attic. 

The nurse instructed Cindy to tell dad’s primary care physician that he needs to be screened for dementia. Meanwhile, our sister in law, Michelle called Cindy to give her advice on what to do about dad. This unwelcome advice continues to irritate and annoy us. 

Why? Because the people giving us their helpful advice are sitting on their butts in the comfort of their homes while we are literally in the trenches dealing with crazy head on. 

Trying act normal in an abnormal world has become a daily routine for my twin and I. We try to wake up and face the day with a positive attitude but, the texts and phone calls are never far away from ruining our day. From other relatives “trying to be helpful” or from Stephaney at JPS or dad. It’s never ending.

Worrying about Cindy stuck at a hospital with dad, my copilot, Leigh Ann and backseat buddy, baby Maddy wondered what would happen next with dad? I was actually worried about Stephaney too but, worrying won’t straighten either of them out. Trust me. 

Cindy and I have worried ourselves silly and tried every solution to get our family back on track that there is. 

Cindy has come up with new material for her Quotes based on the life experiences of unexpected surprises her daughter and our dad have brought to our lives. 

 “LIFE is a ROAD trip, the PESSIMIST will SEE a FLAT tire, the OPTIMIST will GET the SPARE, the REALIST will CHANGE it, and CHECK the AIR” (I am a realist).

“I would PREFER to BE a DIME store LAMP that LIGHTS up the ROOM, than TO be a PRICELESS statue, IN a CORNER gathering DUST, anyday”! (MONEY ain’t EVERYTHING).

 “UNLESS you have MADE the JOURNEY, never ATTEMPT to OFFER others, DIRECTIONS for their TRIP” Amen.

“CLASS can’t be BOUGHT, it HAS to be TAUGHT, paying HIGHER tuition WON’T supersede free COMMON sense and MORALS, the lessons LEARNED from a good HOME, aren’t INCLUDED in a TRUST fund.”

 “PASSION is the PLOW that PUSHES your DREAMS, into REALITY.”
 

“Be the HUSTLE that REFUSES to SIT.” 
 

“Your COMFORT zone IS located on BARREN land, don’t EXPECT any PERSONAL growth, UNLESS you are WILLING to MOVE.”

By the time we finished bridal photos with Jordan to head to the Michael Unit, I was checking in with Cindy again and getting no answer which further frightened me. 

Maddy jumped in on many of the photos but, my clients know that I’m often with Cindy, my twin grandnieces, my niece or grandniece. It’s a family affair. Would they transport dad to the nut house too? My dad had planned to drive himself AFTER SURGERY to have his car checked again for trace elements of poison gas. I advised Cindy that dad shouldn’t be driving but hey, we can’t stop him. No one can. 

Leaving Michael Unit, I again tried to call Cindy as Jordan followed my SUV to Corsicana for lunch with Leigh Ann, Maddy and I. 

Finally, I called my dad instead. Cindy and dad were at Pappasitos having lunch. The hospital let dad go although his paranoid theories were alarming to the hospital staff they apparently weren’t alarming enough to warrant transporting dad back to a Psych Ward. 

While having lunch in Corsicana, Cindy and dad were at Walmart buying a toilet seat, flextape, rain ponchos, and other interesting items. Let’s go over why. The flextape? To fix a leak under the sink and secure the tent over dad’s bed. The rain ponchos? To protect dad from the invisible poison gas that he’s convinced is coming in through the vents. 

Arriving back in Fort Worth with Leigh Ann and Maddy, I stopped at my dads house three blocks from my home to check on Cindy. 

My dad wanted to know if I know any exorcists? The only person that I know who performs these rituals is Bill Bean. I won’t because I’m uncomfortable about taking on Demons. My dad now thinks the house is haunted and wants me to find someone to excorcise it. 

Cindy was busy taping up the clear plastic tent that we had put up a month ago to get my dad back into the house so he would stop sleeping in his car. Apparently, it keeps falling down. 

Stephaney has been living with dad since leaving the estate next door to my house on Byers and helping him. My dad will be lonely without her at his house. 

My dad has 100% blockage in his main artery of the upper thigh. Arriving home again, I googled to find out if this condition would cause senility or dementia. It does. Vascular Dementia. 

Vascular dementia (VAD) is the second most common form of dementia after Alzheimer’s disease and is caused by damage to brain tissue due to decreased blood flow. Strokes, mini-strokes (TIAs) and congestive heart failure can be the root causes of these conditions.

A few months ago, Cindy and I were convinced dad had suffered a stroke. We took him to the hospital and he hadn’t. At the hospital yesterday, his doctor decided not to treat the blockage because it wasn’t causing pain? 

You can develop vascular dementia after a stroke blocks an artery in your brain, but strokes don’t always cause vascular dementia. … Vascular dementia can also result from other conditions that damage blood vessels and reduce circulation, depriving your brain of vital oxygen and nutrients.

Forcing my dad to get this blockage treated WILL NOT BE EASY. My dad doesn’t think this blockage is a problem and is concerned about undergoing another surgery but, it may be the only way we get my dad back to his old self. 

Throughout our lives, our dad has never had wild theories in his life. He is short tempered though and upset that we don’t believe him. It’s difficult to just “go along with someone” who believes things that aren’t true. 

For months our brother didn’t believe what we were telling him about dad. Our brother finally did in July when I called him while dad was transported to JPS first and Wellbridge after three days. 

JPS Tenth Floor is the clearing house of psychiatric treatment in Fort Worth. Nearly everyone checks in there only to be moved somewhere else. The Tenth Floor keeps patients three days before deciding where to move them. 

Many people have emailed me seeking information regarding missing loved ones that have been following my blogs. In order to obtain information, you must have the patient code. 

Without it, NO PSYCH WARD will release patient information. I would love to help you find your loved one but, the only patients I see when visiting my dad of my niece are patients with visitors. Other patients aren’t allowed in the visitation room during visitation. I’m very sorry. 

Yesterday while helping Cindy, I noticed that something had been sprayed on that tent and pointed it out to Cindy. 

My dad is spraying his own concoction of chemicals to “drive the intruders away.” I am guessing that the streaks of fluid on the tent are from my dad spraying them but, who knows? The craziness of “going along with dad” to keep from upsetting him is never ending.

My dad would like to burn the house down but, where would he live? My dad now hates the house that he and Gretta shared for six years before her sudden passing. I miss Gretta everyday. She was hilarious and fun with a zest for life. The twins loved having sleepovers with “Big Mama and Grandpa.” One month into her aggressive treatment for breast cancer, she died. 

My dad had called while I was shopping to tell me to come to the house immediately because the police were there. I will never forget walking into Gretta’s room and finding her like that. Getting her out was a problem for the coroner because Gretta was a hoarder. Gretta shopped online and the entire house was filled with boxes and purchases she had made since the death of her beloved husband, Olin. 

Because dad and Gretta never married, Gretta’s sister was able to “stall” burial plans by being the next of kin. I advise anyone in a relationship choosing not to marry to obtain a Burial Affidavit for good reason, without it, you cannot make burial decisions for your loved one. 

My dad has been in probate for nearly seven years now and whether it’s a blocked artery or dementia Cindy and I have no idea. We want to get this issue fixed but, it isn’t easy with dad. 

What we are certain of is that advice from our aunt or our brother or our brothers wife is unwelcome. We are sick and tired of everyone thinking all of this is funny when it isn’t. 

We are worried about dad and Stephaney while trying to act normal for our families and our clients.

I stopped to check on dad on my way to my chiropractic doctor after knocking my hip out helping a lady who had hit a large rock that fell from a truck. Cindy joined me at the attorneys office for Stephaney and at Parker County Urgent Care for a Toradol shot. 

Our urgent care doctor there always keeps up with our family. Two days ago, he treated Maryssa and Makenna for bronchitis and wasn’t surprised to see Cindy and I as he assumed we were sick too.

Getting a call from Stephaney, we left Parker County to go buy more “Psych Friendly Clothing.” Believe it or not, JPS has pretty stringent guidelines. Only travel sized personal hygiene products and certain colors are allowed. No lace on panties. No underwires on bras. 

Buying Psych Ward clothing has occupied more time and expense for Cindy and than anyone  realizes. A full year of buying more Psych Ward friendly clothing every single time Stephaney has been committed? Yes. Shoes and toiletries too. 

Heading home in the pouring rain with Cindy’s home flooded and my brand new roof, I wearily know that more rain is causing more problems for everyone in Fort Worth. 

I’m thankful my new roof won’t cave in but, Cindy’s basement has been a problem for years and more rain will bring more flooding.

Tomorrow morning, Cindy and I leave Fort Worth in the rain again to drive to TDCJ Beto Unit and meet my brides. It’s another busy day for the Texas Twins.

I had a request for a photographer at Willow Lake Event Center this Sunday but, my photographers charge $75 an hour so they STAY BOOKED OUT. Thankfully, my friend, Myrick Holder has volunteered to save the day. God Bless him.

Nearly every week, someone contacts me to generate more business. I’m already spread thin as is my family aka my Texas Twins Events Team. We have more business than we can handle. Thanks but, no thanks. The last thing we need are more clients than we can handle. Paying to advertise isn’t something of interest to me. 

Tomorrow on our way back from Beto Unit, I’m stopping to view a Pawning Planners trade and hoping the item is in good condition. Mansfield is on our way to Fort Worth. 

Bartering is tricky. Many folks have asked how we make it work. Texas Twins Treasures is our storefront for bartered items we take in trade. You need an outlet to sell items and you need product knowledge to make bartering work. You also need to know the market. 

Bartering and selling aka “flipping” often require refurbishing which can get expensive. Be aware of this. Cindy and I have sold items for years and years and also represented numerous brands so we are experienced appraisers. If you aren’t, you probably shouldn’t consider bartering. Blunders are expensive. 

For those seeking to trade for their Event Service, please visit my sister site, The Pawning Planners- Barter Your Event Service With The Pawning Planners- Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel.

Like many other North Texans, we are hoping the rain stops soon and hoping for safe travels on yet another day of adventures and also praying Stephaney is stable for our visit tomorrow after leaving Mansfield. But, we never know. Every visit to a Psych Ward is different. The other patients are as unpredictable as our own family members. 

Cindy and I always take a moment to catch our breath before “going in.” We attempt to mask our despair at being back at yet another Psych Ward. We try to pretend that’s it’s a regular day but, it isn’t. Visiting a relative that continues to get committed. 

Stephaney has a court date November 5th and whether she will be released or not we have no idea but, we remain hopeful that finding the right treatment will get Stephaney back on track and getting dad’s surgery brings our old dad back. Only time will tell…

“When Opportunity Calls, You Don’t Send It To Voice Mail”

I always answer my phone unless I’m with a client or inside a Prison. Why? Because every phone call is a lead. If I’m unavailable to answer my phone, my sister Cindy normally handles calls and in a pinch, my niece Leigh Ann. 

Cindy or Leigh Ann are always traveling with me across backroads of Texas. I never drive more than three hours from Fort Worth without a copilot. Why? I’m night blind. My vision is far less clear in the dark even with my glasses. 

I answer emails several times a day as well as phone calls, text messages and contact us link requests from five websites including questions about items for sale in my Texas Twins Treasures storefront. 

The pink multi bling bouquet featured in the profile of this blog is a handcrafted item available by special order through Texas Twins Treasures. Please note: bling bouquet orders are currently running 8-10 weeks. A deposit is required for any special order floral design. 

For those unaware of why my Texas Twins Treasures inventory is so eclectic, items listed were initially taken in trade or bartered in lieu of Event Services through The Pawning Planners.Cindy and I have also listed items we came across in our thrifting adventures. Yes, it’s a wild mix of items. All furniture items taken in trade go through an extensive refurbish process. We DO NOT SHIP FURNITURE but, we are happy to meet your freight company. 

Bouncing from Texas Twins Treasures inquiries to Texas Prison Weddings, Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners as well as numerous venues that I’m on staff at keeps me very busy but, it’s essential to field phone calls, emails, and text messages whether I’m available or not which is why you may be calling me but, speaking to another member on my team. 

Booking up and stacking my schedule for the first two weeks of this month, I knew that I was cutting it close by working right up to 3AM Monday to head to DFW Airport. Why 3AM? Our flight leaves at 6:15AM and I’m traveling with not only my twin but also my twin grandnieces, Maryssa and Makenna, my niece, Leigh Ann and her three year old daughter, Madyson. 

It’s a full trip of kids and I’m guessing, chaos but, hopefully with a carefully orchestrated itenarary, doable. 

Maddy CAN BE A HANDFUL so, I’m bringing an umbrella stroller AND a monkey backpack (aka leash) to keep up with her. 

Maddie’s mom, Leigh Ann refuses to discipline her but, at nearly three, Maddie needs boundaries. Note Makenna’s face (far right) at Maddie “acting out.” Maryssa and Makenna both know that Maddie can be a lot of work. If Maddie had been a twin or multiple I have no idea how Leigh Ann would have handled her. Maddie is far more “spirited” than my son, nieces or twin grandnieces ever were. 

The twins aren’t exactly “looking forward” to a plane ride with Maddie going nuts most likely but, traveling with toddlers is tedious as any parent, grandparent or guardian realize. 

Maryssa and Makenna both are accustomed to Maddie being more than a little “sparky.” They both roll their eyes at often embarrassing outbursts. I’m normally the most organized person I’ve ever met but, this year has really put a strain on me. It’s not my Clients either, it’s certain members of my own family. 

Cindy is usually my copilot but, not on my Huntsville trip. Why? Because Cindy was taking her daughter, Stephaney to court in Parker County. 

My niece, Leigh Ann and her daughter were my “riders” to Huntsville. Maddie can and does get cranky in her car seat but, seat kicking aside, Maddie is always with Leigh Ann. My niece goes to her gigs with Maddie in tow just as Cindy did with Maryssa and Malenna years ago. Bookings often involve not only Cindy and I but also occasionally, my niece Leigh Ann and Maddy or Maryssa and Makenna.

Since Cindy was dealing (yet again) the “trickle effect” with the drama and disaster her daughter, Stephaney being off the rails again and our father convinced strangers are living in his attic, stress from Yexad will follow us to California. We can’t escape the crazy texts and phone calls that have “shadowed” Cindy and I the past year. 

Stephaney, at thirty one years old is facing possible jail time for her months of shenanigans. She currently faces not only a DWI but also, a marijuana possession charge and her second Driving Without A License charge. Not knowing if our family member will be going to Prison is stressful.

Cindy and I are upset about Stephaney’s numerous court hearings for good reason. What is it? Seventeen years of her bad choices have taken every bit of pity we had left right out of both of us. Seriously. In and out of jail or in and out of a Psych Ward isn’t funny although other members of our family think it is. It’s debilitating for Cindy and I and upsetting to Stephaney’s twin daughters but, try telling that to other family members. 

Over the past eleven months, family issues with my niece and my father have consistently disrupted my life and my schedule as well as my twin sister, Cindy. 

Cindy and I both fully expected Stephaney to be arrested at this hearing. We’ve both watched her get handcuffed four times this year. It’s horrible to admit but, true. 

All four times were involuntary commitments. My niece is Bipolar One and refuses to take her medication. Stephaney has been out of control since last October. 

Ironically, last October, Stephaney traveled to California for filming with Cindy and I prior to going “off the rails” in a path of self destruction. It’s horrible to have a family member consistently disappointing you but, it’s our life. 

Stephaney was already on probation in Oklahoma when she decided to go off her meds and on a wild rampage of driving while intoxicated and other mysterious behavior that included her believing that she was being chased by invisible people. 

Surprisingly, my father believes invisible people are living in his attic. The fact that my dad and my niece are living together now with both of them having paranoid delusions isn’t lost on me. 

Wild texts from my father or my niece have been a regular occurrence the past year. Why they both decided to “flip out” in the same window I have no idea but, Cindy and I are sick and tired of dealing with the daily doses of drama and chaos dad or Stephaney have put on us. 

Other family members find this amusing. It isn’t. Ridiculous suggestions from my aunt to my brother or sister in law only infuriate my sister and I. 

Why? It’s easy to give advice to someone when you have no real idea what’s going on because you haven’t bothered to either call of visit these out of control family members and while you are sitting in the comfort of your home, my sister and I have been visitors to dad or Stephaney at eight Psych Wards the past year. 

If you have never been a visitor to a Psych Ward, then you have no real idea how stressful these visits actually are. Cindy does and I do too. 

By the way, whoever is scheduling daily visits at Psych Wards needs to knock it off. Patients expect their family members up there everyday. Family members feel guilty if they aren’t. 

Do everyone a favor and limit visits at Psych Wards to one day a week or even two but, seven days a week is a literal a$$ whipping. Seven days a week with two relatives in two different units? 

Yea buddy– it’s an emotional rollercoaster of crazy that I wish I could wipe from my memory but, I can’t. Cindy can’t either. 

Cindy and I have both been to Hell and back this year while juggling over a hundred clients and trying to act normal in front of our husbands and grandchildren as well as our clients hasn’t been easy. 

Mentally, I was already worried about not being with Cindy for moral support due to my schedule. I’ve never called in sick and I have never been late. CLIENTS ALWAYS COME FIRST. 

Cindy frequently checked in by phone to give me updates. I was quite sad that my sister was sitting all alone in a courtroom wondering if Steph would get arrested in front of her again but, helpless to change things. 

Unless you’ve dealt with an out of control family member, the stress is something you cannot and may never understand. My mother was mentally ill and a drug addict. Leaving the chaos of my childhood behind, I never imagined that we would be faced with uncertainties again but, Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney has really given both of us a “run for the money.”

I instructed Cindy to stay calm regardless of whether or not Stephaney was incarcerated and involuntarily committed again. Last week at another hearing, the judge threatened to arrest Stephaney because she was smirking. I spent an hour going over how not to act in a courtroom to prevent further issues. My niece often laughs at inappropriate moments. There isn’t anything funny going on in a courtroom. Contempt of Court isn’t a laughing matter either.

For those of my TDCJ Clients who follow this blog as well as my others, October is booked out. New bookings are being moved to November. McConnell Unit is still on lock down and it may be November before the lift occurs. 

I have a few updates and site changes. Due to my business shifting with TDCJ Weddings taking up most of my week Monday through Friday, Texas Twins Events is undergoing numerous site changes. 

If you’ve visited Texas Twins Events and it’s down, please be patient as we are working to make the site far more user friendly. 

Also, for my TDCJ Clients, a new link, WWW.TDCJOFFICIANT.COM will be added to Texas Twins Events in the coming weeks to address the large amount of traffic visitors who are specifically looking for Texas Prison Wedding Officiant Services.Of course, you can still contact me through any Wendy Wortham Website or on my FB Page, Texas Prison Weddings with Wendy Wortham.

If you had told me two years ago after merging Texas Twins Treasures and Texas Twins Events to create a barter option with The Pawning Planners that I WOULD AGAIN be rebranding and expanding to include Texas Prison Weddings, I most likely wouldn’t have believed it BUT the truth is that Texas Prison Weddings now take up the majority of my bookings. Because of this, accommodating my TDCJ Clients with a user friendly site is very important to me. We appreciate your patience. 

My life is a literal juggling act of family and four unique businesses blended together. The truth is that Clients come first and my family runs a close second. Why? I don’t have anyone to bump Prison Weddings to on my team and no one booking Prison Weddings wants anyone other than me to handle their service. Because of this, I’m booked out months and even up to a year ahead of time.

Last week, I even forgot my own husband’s birthday. If you missed the previous blog on my other site detailing why, here’s the link– Forgetting My Husband’s Birthday And Other Surprises.

The wedding ceremony at TDCJ Holliday Unit was scheduled for 2PM and the drive back to Fort Worth was a little over three hours, I suggested to my Florida bride that Leigh Ann and I meet for her photos ahead of the scheduled wedding at Holliday Unit by meeting at Fairfield Inn. 

While en route, my bride called an hour earlier from Houston to Huntsville and got an ETA from me. 

I took four calls booking three Units and another wedding at Mercado Event Center and Bell Tower Chapel And Garden while driving to Huntsville. 

My niece answered numerous emails from new clients and also several texts from my Beto Bride and Michael Unit Bride as well as a new clients in Gainsville and Stiles Unit. 

Juggling my schedule upon returning from California has me booked out the rest of October. I will be out of state working Destination Weddings and Events October 15th through October 21st. Leigh Ann is also booked and unavailable for bookings during this window as is Cindy. If you need someone for photography, my son and daughter are handling short notice bookings in our absence. 

Since my Florida bride had an extra hour on our arrival time, she went to the nail salon. We made arrangements to meet at noon at Fairfield Inn after I sent her several other options. I loved the lobby area. 

You may be wondering why we chose this particular hotel? The options in Huntsville are somewhat limited. I was looking at lighting particularly and warm tones to coordinate with the 6 bouquets I had packed for photos. 

What I’m looking for when choosing a location is color and background. Hotels are public locations and because of this, a great place for pictures. 

Not all Units are located near hotels though so, many times we do impromptu photos outdoors. 

What I didn’t know and couldn’t know was how my perfectly orchestrated schedule with everything else going on in my life would turn out yesterday. Who would? I’m OCD, I’m organized and I try to prepare for anything. 

Everything right up to meeting at Fairfield was right on schedule. Even my grandniece, Madyson jumped in to “pose” with my bride. We were all having a great time so, what could go wrong? Stay tuned ya all.Photos below are courtesy of my niece, Leigh Ann Blais– Maddie & Me Photography. 

Floral Designs provided by me as a courtesy from my Texas Twins Treasures Inventory. After finishing photos with my beautiful bride, Leigh Ann and Maddy at Fairfield, we still had about an hour until the wedding time at Holliday Unit. 

Because of this, my bride ran to run a few errands and I dropped Leigh Ann and Maddy off at Target near Fairfield Inn after taking them to lunch at Taco Cabana.

I still had what I thought was plenty of time to get to the Unit when I googled it and hit directions. Sitting in my SUV, navigation put me over twenty minutes from the Unit which surprised me but, like an idiot, I (wrongly) trusted Navigation Lady.

Jumping on the freeway as directed, I would drive 70-75 mph and up in order to be fifteen minutes early checking in. 

Subsequently, I was issued a speeding ticket. I literally didn’t have time for this but, was polite and cordial. 

I suggest everyone getting pulled over treats Highway Patrol and the police with courtesy and respect but, I was raised that way. “Did I know I was in a construction area? No. I was paying attention to navigation.”

The exit I was told to take was closed and I had to drive another 9 miles to the next exit. I was now beginning to REALLY PANIC! I’m never late.

Taking the exit as instructed, I found myself traveling down a rocky dirt road. Praying that the Unit was on the other end, I again checked the time. 

Driving down back roads, dirt roads and deep country, I actually thought to myself “if anyone really guessed at how unpredictable my days actually are- they’d have a whole new version of a day in the life of Wendy Wortham.” 

In the middle of the dirt road some ten minutes off the freeway, Navigation Lady said I had arrived? Omg. 

What happened next was me slamming on my brakes in horror and nearly driving sideways into a bar ditch and a tree. The time? 1:27PM. I’m supposed to be at least twenty minutes early to a Prison. 

Good Lord, I completely lost it. Late to an event? What would the Warden think? All of these years of exceeding any and all obstacles and NOW I WAS GOING TO BE LATE?! 

My normal composure flew right out of my SUV. Hyperventilating, I called my bride and told her I had not only been stopped for speeding but also, was lost.

I advised her that I would call the Unit and find my way. Nearly crying and definitely stuttering (as usual when I’m upset), I called Holliday Unit and asked for the Chaplain before getting cut off. My cell signal was weak and I kept losing the call. This only added to my despair. 

Checking my tire and the passenger side of my SUV, I had dented the right side and blown out my tire. More damage to my vehicle? Check. My husband is actually used to the repairs that driving to Prisons puts on my vehicles. I’ve been through 3 suv’s in 5 years. 

Now that I was crying, a farmer watching the entire incident stopped to help me. Luckily, the farmer that was most likely wondering what the Hell I was doing back there alone in the wilderness felt sorry for me and got me back on track. God Bless him. 

Driving to Texas Prisons, I’ve had 7 windshields, 2 blow outs and 2 new dents. I’ve put over 80k miles on 2 suvs and I’ve had some real adventures believe me. 

From the goat attacking my SUV at O.L. Luther Unit to the deer jumping out in front of me near Hodge Unit, to trucks hauling water to frack sites and throwing rocks into my windshield, when I tell you that I’ve really run into some unexpected incidents, I’m not kidding! 

I was so upset that I started throwing up driving back down the rocky dirt road asking myself “how far I was from the Unit?” 

I back tracked my way back to the freeway to get a signal and called the Unit again. This time, I was transfered to the Law Library. Begging for an actual address to put in my navigation, I explained that my Bride had flown from Florida for the wedding and to please, please allow her to marry although I was running late, lost and trying to find the Unit.

By the Grace Of God, I was told that they would wait for me whatever time I arrived and got the actual address. The kindness shown to me during what could have been a disastrous situation will never be forgotten. Holliday Unit staff went above and beyond to make this wedding happen. I’m forever grateful to this Unit.

Trying to calm myself, I sipped water while breathing in and out as slowly as possible driving some twenty minutes back to the Unit my Navigation had directed me away from. Leigh Ann called to check on me and was horrified to hear that I had not only got a speeding ticket while getting lost but also, dented my car again. As she worried about me calming myself down enough to perform the ceremony, I worked really hard to try and stop crying and get myself together. 

This has NEVER happened to me before IN eight years of traveling to people’s homes, venues OR Prisons.

Arriving at Holliday Unit, my bride was in the parking lot waiting on me. I nearly fell when I finally left my vehicle from the stress to be honest with you.

We walked up to show our ID to the guard in the birds nest to be cleared for entry to the Unit.

Last Wednesday, the bride had been advised that the groom would be behind glass. None of my clients are comfortable about being separated for their wedding. 

She actually considered cancelling the wedding because of the glass. I talked her out of it because I was concerned we would have trouble getting a new date. I have valid concerns. It’s not easy getting a date for a Prison Wedding.

A few weeks ago at Beto, one of my brides vomited after being escorted to the groom BEHIND GLASS.

It’s very upsetting. The first time I walked into a Unit where the groom was behind glass, I started crying myself. Prison Weddings are stressful but, at least my clients are happy and joyous. Nothing prepared me for the groom to be behind a glass partition. NOTHING. I was upset for my Bride, Nikia. 

But, I was the only one upset because Nikia knew ahead of time that the groom would be separated. Here are photos of my very first Wedding separated by glass at Ferguson Unit. The truth is that I was so shocked and upset by the glass that I’m not even in the photo! Why? I was too busy trying to not be upset for my client that’s why. For a person who had never been in a Prison prior to being asked to undergo the process and become a Texas Department Of Criminal Justice Approved Officiant, the glass was something wholly unexpected for me.

The glass is troubling to such an extent that I’ve had clients reschedule or cancel their Prison Wedding. Nikia wasn’t bothered by it but, she’s an exception. 

Thankfully, I recovered my emotions by the time I met Leigh Ann back at my SUV and we drove a few miles for Nikias bridal photos. Here they are.My Florida bride was so upset about the glass that she nearly rescheduled her wedding. The glass is incredibly upsetting. Couples can’t hold hands, hug or kiss.

I advised my Florida bride that if we cancel a few days prior to the wedding that it’s far harder to get approved for a new date. The Approval Process for a Prison wedding takes numerous signatures. It’s a process. 

For my clients who have cancelled or tried to reschedule their wedding, it’s a lengthy process. I warn against cancelling or reschedules because this can be far harder to do the second time around. Prison Weddings involve the entire Unit. 

I advised my Florida Bride not to cancel regardless of the glass because I had concerns about getting a new date for her wedding. 

Because of this, we were both shocked that the groom walked right out. My responsibility is to advise Units if there’s a cancellation or Heaven Forbid, I’m lost and running late. 

My phone call detailing the fact that I was lost and my bride had flown to Texas AND rented a car to get to this wedding was embarrassing for me a person who strives to be professional at all times and never late but, thank God I followed protocol and notified the Unit! 

The bride was THRILLED to hold her husband’s hand and hug him. They had both written their vows which brought the beauty to the ceremony. Here they are. My newlyweds. The brides smile says it all. Heading back to Fort Worth in the pouring rain after picking up my niece and grandniece, I was so relieved that everything worked out yesterday after everything going wrong that you can’t imagine.

An hour from Fort Worth, my beautiful bride called me to tell me she had driven to Houston to visit her grandmother and found her in the backyard with a broken shoulder. I was deeply saddened by this and the bride was actually calling to check on me and make sure we were safely headed home in my wrecked SUV? Yes, the people I meet are amazing. They are loving. They are kind. They are truly a Blessing. 

After everything that had happened and while following the ambulance with two hours sleep, my bride was worried that I was safe and okay? 

My photos from Fairfield are from my phone and I can’t wait to send my beautiful, compassionate and amazing new friend the photos from Leigh Ann’s camera. 

We are praying her grandmother is okay and after a wedding at Belltower Chapel today and Baptism tomorrow, I’m going to start packing and I’ve decided to wait to repair my SUV until I get back from California next weekend in order to focus on finishing my work week and prepare for Destination Events in San Juan Capistrano, Dana Point and San Clemente. 

Leigh Ann, Maddy, Maryssa and Makenna, Cindy and I are hoping it’s not raining when we head to DFW but, looking forward to a new week of new adventures in sunny Southern California far away from the drama and chaos my dad and Stephaney have interjected into our lives this year.

I’m looking forward to meeting my stepsister Tammy in Long Beach. We haven’t seen her since handling her daughters wedding last September and a brief visit last October while filming. 

Hopefully this work/vacation trip will give the twins a worry free week away from worrying about their mother, Stephaney. It’s sad to me that although Cindy and I have always been the parents aka MeMe’s to the twins but, they still worry so much about their mom and her choices that we’ve had to put them in counseling.

Will Stephaney get her life back together? I have no idea. I’ve spent hours and hours praying for resolution and peace with my niece and her choices to only be surprised yet again…

Marriage Proposals, Credit Reports & The Trade That Wouldn’t Work…

Whether a Client needs advice in my capacity as a Coordinator or simply as a friend, I’m honest to such an extent that it’s not uncommon for me to use my own life as an example in order to keep someone else from making the same mistakes that I have by trusting someone. 

Many of my Clients have asked me my opinion on Prenups. In certain situations, this document can prevent someone who has far more than their spouse from losing half of their assets in a divorce.

A lot of folks are offended if you ask them to sign a Prenup. They shouldn’t be. If one of you has far more than the other, a Prenup is actually a pretty important “discussion.” 

Today, we are going to dive in to Sexually Transmitted Debt. Haven’t heard of it? Well, if you are marrying someone, you need to educate yourself because love is the #1 reason for this to occur to an innocent bystander who marries someone saddled with debt and doesn’t realize it PRIOR to marriage. 

Sexually transmitted debt is where one person in a relationship becomes responsible for their partner’s financial debt usually after being either unaware the debt existed prior to marriage or being convinced or misled into taking on debt in their own name upon marrying. 

Insisting on a Prenup or at the very least, a credit report is often necessary to effectively protect yourself from your future spouses Tax Lien or Debt Lawsuit when you thought your new spouse had their act together but, secrets you weren’t aware of come to light years after you married. It’s best to know the situation UP FRONT. 

In my lifetime,  I’ve encountered BOTH situations with my previous and current husbands. No, I didn’t insist on a Prenup because I had no idea a problem existed. 

Which is why I’m adamant that Clients consider the good, the bad and in many cases, the ugly side that marrying someone will literally piggyback THEIR EXISTING DEBT onto the back of the unsuspecting spouse. I’ve been that spouse myself. 

If you marry someone with debt, their debt NOW becomes community debt. If you divorce, you now get 1/2 the debt of your partner. If your partner dies, you still get the bonus of being saddled with their debt. 

Debt Infection through matrimony is the No. 1 way to transmit debt across the generations: 24% of baby boomers, 26% of Gen Xers and 31% of Gen Y say they took on a partner’s or ex-partner’s IOUs after saying “I do.”

Then there’s the other side of marriage: divorce. Debt divvied up in divorce settlements affected 23% of boomers, 15% of Gen Xers and 8% of Gen Y. 

Years ago, I was already going through a marriage that was ripe with other issues including infidelity. This affair was what actually drove me to marriage counseling. 

You see, in order to deal with my consistent disappointment regarding an ongoing four year affair my husband was having at the time, was disruptive enough to my life already when the second shoe fell. 

What was it? A shocking letter from Tarrant County regarding a Tax Lien in MY NAME. This gave me a very real wake up call. Good Lord. 

I couldn’t believe it then and even today cannot believe it actually happened to me but, it did and, I had to fight the tax lien. “Just sign here. We are married now and filing jointly is part of being married.” Yep. Just signing there signed ME right up for a joint tax lien. 

Opening a letter from the courthouse regarding a $78k tax lien was the LAST THING I needed in a marriage that had issues of infidelity 14 years ago. I was instantly gut punched and devastated. At the time, I actually believed my credit AND future had been completely ruined. 

I had been rope a doped. Pulling myself off the sideline and the ground would take patience, education and a full understanding of Tax Law. Particularly Innocent Spouse.

Saddled with a joint tax lien that would take me forever to pay and my credit ruined? I was nearly on the edge of a Psychotic Break that day. After all, I had one year prior settled a child custody battle. 

Quite frankly, love letters to my husband from his mistress also “graced” my mailbox all those years ago. I had a LOT of negatives going on during that marriage with the only positive being my son, my family and of course, my work. 

Because of that lien letter, I no longer file joint tax returns not because I don’t trust my current husband but because I’ve been sucker punched before and, it changed my life. Once bitten twice shy. 

During my second marriage, just checking the mail was similar to expecting a bomb to go off in my hand emotionally. My mailbox became the Devil to me due to Laurie sending cards to my former husband throughout our marriage. 

Checking the mail became one anxiety attack after the next for the first four years out of the six years of my marriage spent with my ex  “for better or for worse.” 

The tax lien in the mail though was a literal Dealbreaker. I was already trying to find some resolution via Counseling for dealing with my trust issues regarding the affair and the tax lien destroyed any hope of salvaging my marriage. 

You may be wondering where this blog is headed so, saddle up and get ready for a Helluva Ride.

How did my past experience with tax liens and Debt Lawsuits come up after all of these years? I closed that door years and years ago. 

Here’s what happened to open Pandoras Box: 

One of my Brides who had actually hired me months ago for a Coordinator and Officiant at her “big budget” October wedding in California called me today after she “accidentally” opened up a Debt Lawsuit Default Judgment addressed to her fiancée. 

No one who is going through life happy and excited planning their wedding actually expects a Debt Lawsuit OR Tax Liens but, MAYBE they should. 

What about unpaid child support or school loans? A credit report answers those questions for you. 

You NEED to know who you are marrying. Their debt can quickly become YOUR DEBT TOO. 

In my opinion and personal experience, previous Default Judgments, Debt Lawsuits, Unpaid Child Support or School Loans are PRETTY HEAVY LUGGAGE. 

Prenups and Credit Reports not only protect my Clients but, in many cases often enlighten them. 

Although my Bride was effectively sucker punched, she had spent some time absorbing the shock. An accident of opening this letter or curiosity regarding why a letter from the courthouse regarding a Lien was addressed to her fiancé? 

Alarmed, she had called me from Dana Point, California to discuss getting cold feet. Who could blame her? 

We are now effectively “in the countdown” on this wedding and “surprises” prior to the Wedding Rehearsal October 15th would give any Bride second thoughts. 

“What else could he be hiding?” It’s a legitimate question. Also, a question that I couldn’t answer that accredit report could. 

“In the forest of life, remember that the handle of the axe that cuts you down was once a tree.” My sisters saucy Quote fit this situation to a tee.

I was actually covered in insulation and busy vacuuming the furniture I had been forced to leave “as is” for insurance purposes when the “California call” came in. 

For the past nearly two weeks, my ceiling caving in due to North Texas rain has occupied my life while bouncing from client meetings to events and meeting contractors. 

We are nearly finished with repairs to the structure and I was actually only waiting on the furniture to be cleaned. 

The State Farm adjuster had just left after taking photos which finally gave me an opportunity to start vacuuming insulation from every piece of furniture that had been in the room at the time of the crash. 

Since everyone asks for the “before and after photos” of something I never expected to happen, here they are. 

Going through the motions to put my home back together again before leaving for Destination Events in California has been stressful but, I’m hanging in there. This unexpected disaster damaged my furniture and upset my life but, I’m blessed that I wasn’t in the room at my desk and neither was my dog, Foxy Wortham or one of my three grandnieces. 

This “disaster” could’ve been much worse if someone had been standing under the attic that caved in.Having sheet draped furniture covered in insulation stacked up in my other rooms reminded me just how much furniture I had in ONE ROOM. 

I remember thinking to myself “I might be a hoarder?” The thought had actually never occurred to me before. 

I really had no idea how much stuff I had in my built in cabinets and shelves until I started the lengthy process of dusting everything off. 

Preparing to take the call, I had set aside  my inexpensive but, highly effective Shark Vacuum (no, I’m not branding but, if your attic ever caves in you need this vacuum) aside, I literally fell sideways and half exhausted into a Texas Twins Treasures cuddle chair with sweat furrowing across my brow and a little breathless to answer the call from my Dana Point Bride. 

Whenever I get a call from someone crying, I’m instantly hyper aware that there’s a problem. Listening carefully to the facts is essential to finding a solution. I actually thought this call would be to cancel the upcoming wedding with a hysterical Bride on the other line. Heavy sigh.

My Bride: “I hate to bother you but, I need to talk to someone unbiased and my mother isn’t the one I choose to tell. I trust you. You’re actually like my mother only in a non judgmental way. Do you have a few minutes?” Me: “Sure, I’m just vacuuming before the cleaners show up to dry clean the furniture. Is everything okay?” 

My Bride: “I saw a courthouse letter and thought maybe it’s about his child custody case and since I’m helping him pay attorney fees, I opened it.” Me: “What was it about?” 

As I ask this, my heart is heavy knowing whatever it was, it’s upsetting to such an extent that my Bride actually had to sit back and think who would keep this information secret. Not surprisingly, she chose me. 

My Bride: “Well, it’s a judgment. There are names on the upper corner that I don’t know and his name is under theirs. This looks official and it’s a LOT of money. Since he lives with me and I don’t think he has this sort of cash available, I’m really scared. Can they put a lien on my house?” 

Hmm, this is a biggie ya all and once you marry, it’s a biggie that’s going to impact your marriage and not in a “good way.”

Since it’s the second marriage for the Groom who also has a child, the Bride who hasn’t been married but, has more money is now concerned about her personal property. 

It should be noted that I carefully but strongly suggested a Prenup to my Bride months ago. 

This “Prenup Suggestion” had upset the Groom at the time. However, the Groom didn’t hire me, the Bride DID. My allegiance is to MY CLIENTS. My role is to enlighten and educate my Client. 

Thank God that my Bride was as concerned as I was about protecting her assets to insist on a Prenup at my suggestion. As a parent myself, it’s fairly easy to watch your child “blinded by love.” 

But, as a businesswoman, protecting my Client regarding contracts for other vendors as well as a contract to protect them in certain situations isn’t as unusual as you might think. Somebody has to look out for these folks and quite often, I’m the someone. 

I decided to go make myself an ice coffee and wait for her to absorb the tax lien aspect of this scenario. This was going to take a few minutes and, I was going to need caffeine to have the energy. 

Trying not to sound as alarmed as I actually was remembering where I had been and hoping to never again revisit my past experiences with Tax Liens and Debt Lawsuits, I sipped my iced coffee before responding. 

The truth was only going to further disillusion my beautiful Bride. At the moment, she was still wondering if the lien was real and how it came to be. I already knew the lien was real coming from the county courthouse and also had no doubt that the Groom wasn’t unaware of this trouble that he had most likely, hoped to beat before “wedding hour.” 

Me: “If he’s been sued once, he will be sued again. Debt buyers actually buy time barred debt specifically to sue the respondent. If he now has a judgment, he’s on a Hot Sheet. Meaning, other Debt buyers are going to follow suit and file on him. Here’s how it actually works. He stops paying his car, his phone, his credit card. The company (original lender) writes off the debt aka a charge off. Over time, Debt buyers come along and pull his credit to search for charge offs and then add a “new account” on his credit report. This new account isn’t actually a charge account. It’s a debt account. Re aging old debt or Zombie Debt is a REGULAR OCCURRENCE to such an extent in the US that JP Courts have upped the cap in Texas and many other states. I’m well aware of Debt Lawsuits and also IRS Liens for “forgiven debt.” What this means is that if someone stops paying an account, they benefitted from the revenue that they would’ve spent to their creditor. I think you need to speak to him in person and request a copy of his credit report. He knows there’s a problem. My guess is that there have been numerous letters and phone calls long before this suit was ever filed. He’s ALSO  chosen not to tell you any of this which is a problem.”

It’s well known that I HATE SURPRISES. As a planner, I try to have a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C but, this wasn’t going the way my perfect California trip was planned at all.

This Bride is so sweet and well mannered that I hated that she was devastated. I was so sick about it myself that I waited for her to stop crying to respond. Heartbreak hurts. I’ve been there. 

EVEN if someone is successful at fighting and winning a Debt Lawsuit, Debt buyers often use their second “fallback option” AND report the income (unpaid debt) to the IRS. 

I instructed my Bride to tell the Groom to FREEZE his credit immediately before one lawsuit turns into 10, 20, 30 or more from other third parties. 

It’s surprising how many folks have never heard of Freezing their credit. You wouldn’t leave the house without zipping your pants would you? Why leave your credit accessible to anyone? 

Let’s examine Hot Sheets. What are they? Lawsuits and Default Judgments are actually HOW Debt Attorneys find their victims they open a window of other Debt attorneys filing lawsuits. By coming across the name of a litigant (or victim), Collection Attorneys have a name. 

Most lawsuits also have a Social Security number when they involve debt. Using this information, the Collection Attorney pulls the credit report and, the game of “gotcha” literally begins. Why? Most people who Default do it across the board. There isn’t only one or two derogatory accounts. It’s a flood and if you don’t want to drown, you need to Freeze Your Credit. 

Freezing your credit prevents other Debt Buyers from pulling it and filing future lawsuits on the Defaults. 

It’s a highly lucrative business whether you realize it or not. Debt buyers profit from their merciless search for Zombie Debts. 

If you get sued over Debt just once, buckle up cause the Tornado just got started. Years ago, this was uncommon but, things changed about 15 years ago. 

There isn’t ANY limit on the number of times you can be sued on the same debt. Think about that. You just got sued on one item and somewhere in another county, usually nearby, someone else is filing the same suit on the same Debt. Ninety nine percent of the time, these lawsuits are filed “Non Served.” The Plaintiff also often seeks a Default Judgment. 

Re Aging Time Barred Debts is so common these days that while you are busy absorbing the first lawsuit, the shock of finding yourself sued again on a debt 10, 20 or even 30 years later confuses and baffles you. 

How does this happen? The Debt Buyer initiated a “new account” after pulling your credit report. Experian, Transunion and Equifax LET THEM. 

This “new debt account” will also effectively Re Age a time barred debt that was once previously protected by a time bar statute against a lawsuit. 

If you are one of the people who Defaulted years ago, open your eyes. I can promise you that a Collection Attorney somewhere is looking to find that old debt. Pull your credit immediately and then, Freeze It at Experian, Transunion and Equifax. 

You will need your old credit reports to prove the date of the default. Otherwise, you have no credible defense to a time barred Debt Lawsuit. 

Nonserved litigants also “discover” Default Judgments years later they never realized because they were never served a citation regarding the lawsuit. 

I learned everything there was to know about Debt Lawsuits in order to better understand them and more importantly, fight them. Not for me but, for my husband. 

Due to an unexpected “debt lawsuit crisis” years ago for my current husband, the shocking statistics regarding Debt Lawsuits were quite alarming to me. I attended hearings that were virtual “cattle calls.” 

All of these people herded into a room with a sassy collector holding a repayment document that confused consumers signed thinking they would go to jail if they didn’t. 

No one had an attorney and no one really knew what was going on. Mind you, these were the folks “lucky enough” to have been notified of a lawsuit. Think about all of the others who weren’t. 

Since I spent years in courtrooms and read everything there was to know about Debt Lawsuits and Default Judgments, it didn’t take me long to realize how horrifying this trend actually was. 

I was determined to understand the process and find the loopholes. Why? I had to in order to defend my husband.

My current husband was unemployed for 3 years during the real estate crisis. He went from $300k and up as a builder and developer a year to ZERO. 

Sure, we had savings but, we were also forced to pay his credit cards with the savings. He had hoped to find work and replace the savings or at the very least cover our debts but, real estate took years to recover. Because of this, we lost all of our savings by paying his credit cards until we no longer could. His were far higher than mine. I rarely used my cards and when I did, paid them off as I still do today. 

My credit cards are now used only to rent cars and hotel rooms for travel but, they aren’t used for shopping or dining out. They never have been. 

It took me years to get a good credit card after my first divorce and no one was more thrilled or honored than I was to have REAL CREDIT. 

When you don’t have money, you learn to Barter. I did. People ask why we have The Pawning Planners and a Barter Option? Experience. You lose customers who have no money but may very well have assets.

Where did I get that experience? Talking the car salesman into accepting a mink cost for the GEO Storm I bought after my first divorce. I had no credit at all and, very little money. I can sell anything. I’ve had to over and over again. 

If you know the value and know the market, you probably can to. Just don’t look desperate. It will kill your sale. I always looked like I could care less whether you bought today or next year. It was Christmas Eve and the perfect time to swap a coat for a car so, I did. I actually drove the GEO for three years without an air conditioner. I learned to check for an actual air conditioner on my upgrade vehicle though. 

Selling that mink by convincing the sales manager of the quality of my coat he had been admiring on a cold North Texas night didn’t take too much convincing. 

Me: “your wife would love this, it’s a gorgeous mink that any gal would love. Have you already bought her something special? I really don’t have enough money to cover the down payment but, I will take this mink coat right off my back and trade it for the down payment.” 

Salesman: “Are these coats expensive? My wife has always wanted one.” Deal sealed. 

I rolled right off the lot driving a car with no air conditioning (although it had a button) and was on my way to establishing MY OWN CREDIT via the car payments. 

A year later? My first credit card. I was in awe of that card. Shiny and gold with my name on it. A miraculous addition to my wallet. I had finally made it on my own and had credit. I cried. 

That’s how hard I fought to get my own credit. How much I sacrificed. No one GAVE me credit. I earned it. I wasn’t going to let anyone take it away from me. Husband or not. 

My third marriage would put me in a slippery slope of having to choose to live off my credit cards or sell everything I owned. 

Our first year was perfect. Plenty of money and no worries. But…things would change and quickly for us. The real estate crash was felt for years in our home. The only industry my husband had ever known.

When the real estate crash finally wiped us completely out, we couldn’t afford to hire attorneys. We were trying to save our home. By the time I realized that were spending all of our savings trying to pay Matthews credit cards for 2 years before we ran out of savings, I quickly realized that I couldn’t afford to pay his credit cards and mine. 

The end result? Debt lawsuits against him. I wasn’t giving up my cards. I couldn’t. I fought to hard to have them. 

By the third year of my third husband being unemployed, I began selling everything we owned. From my furs, to jewelry to even our cars, the only asset we saved was our home. 

I went from driving an Escalade and a Crossfire to a Hyundai. I was okay with the step down to be honest with you. The gas bill was killing me. I didn’t need to impress anyone. Sure, friends were unimpressed but, they weren’t paying my bills. 

During my third marriage, I had lost everything I owned but, had I not chose to fight, lawsuits against my husband would have entirely become default judgments and would have eventually wiped out any future earnings we would have ever made. Debt attorneys know this which is why they want Default Judgments. They are patient. 

My husband was literally forced to default on all of his credit cards because we had run out of money to pay them AND subsequently, my husband was sued 17 times. 

Even today, he will not carry a credit card. He will never get over where he’s been. My husband is a cash only customer. 

I defended my third husband successfully on EVERY lawsuit except one. 

The war lasted 4 years. It was an awful way to start our life together. By the fourth year of fighting debt lawsuits, I was earning enough money to hire an attorney and did. Why? I was tired and mentally exhausted. I hired Jerry Jarzonbeck to finish the last one. 

It was a horrible time for both of us as we had only been married a year when real estate crashed. What a honeymoon! 

I had to fight because my husband was in no condition to represent himself. I’m not kidding. He was suicidal. The lawsuits forever changed him. 

After I successfully forced non suits on the first two of his lawsuits, he finally believed that I could pull us out of the Hell our lives had become. 

Getting sued at his age was horrifying and embarrassing. All of the lawsuits were third party Debt buyers. 

I fought for my husband and learned how  anyone like him who had lost their job, got sick or was going through hard times had also been sued. 

After dealing with tax liens all those years before, I was now more than a little familiar with the legal process. Yep,  back to the Law books again on my third marriage. 

I know more about Debt lawsuits than others because I had to learn how to fight them and, I did. I fought harder than anyone would for my husband and, I saved him. 

When you are forced to make this type of a choice- you need to educate yourself and do whatever you can to survive. I did. 

Filing an answer to a lawsuit is imperative. Failure to do so will result in a Default Judgment. 
Fighting my husband’s lawsuits was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life but, I learned a lifetime of Debt lawsuit information in a short window. 

I learned how to file answers. I learned how to file Interrogatories. I learned how to send Certified Copies of filings and I learned not to give up. 

What people don’t know about Debt and Lawsuits, IRS Liens or their partners credit can and will hurt them. 

Third party Debt Lawsuits are shocking and often have little or no documentation because Debt buyers have 1 or 2 documents without the entire file. 

The majority of these Debt lawsuits are on Time Barred Debt– Federal Trade Commission- Time Barred Debt. 

Millions and Millions of people never knew they had been sued. Why? Sewer Service. Debt Lawsuits are like a cancer to anyone unaware that they exist. 

If you have charged off debt, Freeze your credit FIRST then call the Courthouse or go online and search your name. 

You will also need to keep checking the courthouse. Why? Because you need to know if you’ve been sued and file an Answer. If you don’t, you only have a limited window to fight a Default. 

The majority of Debt Lawsuits and subsequent Judgments ARE ON NON SERVED LITIGANTS. 

I advised my Bride to go online and check the Groom for other lawsuits or judgments. It’s easy enough to do. 

I’m guessing that tomorrow she will most likely VISIT the courthouse if the Groom chooses the “evasive” route. I would too. 

Telling a surprised client that “it ain’t over” isn’t easy. It’s difficult. I’m old enough to be wise. 

Due to my life, I’ve learned very important things the hard way because I’ve had to. Education is priceless. 

Reading law books during my previous marriage regarding taxes, if you had told me “I’d be hitting the books again” with my third husband, I would never have believed it but, it happened. 

No one wants to have their property encumbered but, what about your credit? How does your partners credit affect your own? You cannot discharge a tax lien even in bankruptcy. 

Well, if you get joint credit cards or a home, it will. Read on to find out why I know so much about infidelity, Tax Liens and Debt Lawsuits. 

Years ago, I WAS THAT BRIDE myself! My previous husband worked as a Tax Consultant for Ad Valorem Taxes. 

He also regularly “negotiated” tax liens. I had no idea of any of this but, ignorance doesn’t keep bad things from happening to you.   

My ex had a lot of secrets. Tax Liens and a mistress? Check. An affair referred to me as an “overlap” two years prior to the tax lien? Yes. Four years of an affair destroy your self esteem. You wonder what’s wrong with YOU? I did. 

I already knew my previous marriage was going to Hell in a Hand Basket two years before the tax lien. Four years of “Laurie” had made me a zombie. 

Sure, I could still smile for my photo shoots and modeling gigs or commercial work. After all, I was a trained model. A hangar with a smile and charisma. When I was working, I was ON. When I was home, I was off. 

Laurie had haunted my marriage like a ghost. The whispered phone calls late at night. The love letters with hearts drawn on the envelope. All of it. 

Heck, I was even in marriage counseling attempting to deal with my anger while coming home to yet  another “love letter from Laurie” in my mailbox. 

But, addressing the Laurie situation would wait for years. Why? Well when I married my second husband, I had a car. Not a luxury car but a new one. It took me years of driving a pos without a/c to afford that car and I was proud of it. 

The first time I left Guy over Laurie was after he had me sign over my new car to his nephew immediately after marrying him years earlier in order “to get me a nicer car,” I would learn that I didn’t own my car when my ex sent someone to pick up HIS car from me. 

In order to fix that situation, I left Texas Patios and took a job at Frank Kent Cadillac to effectively, get a FREE DEMO. I had learned that not having a car was a real hardship. 

I needed to make as much money as I possibly could to plan my escape from a marriage that was killing me. 

After my first divorce, I learned not to fly off to the courthouse and let the chips fall where they might. Before filing for my second divorce in 20 years, I needed a plan, money and a car. 

It was one thing after the next in my second marriage. He wasn’t hitting me but, he was hitting me just the same. Mental abuse is just as real as physical abuse. I spent years arguing about Laurie with my second husband. Years. 

But, running off in a huff to file a divorce would cut my own throat. Instead, I went to marriage counseling and tried to forgive a husband that would consistently break my trust. 

While doing so, I was making an escape route for myself and my son far away from the country clubs, vacation homes and sorrow my life has become. 

A month before the tax lien arrived, a circular for Fort Worth City Club arrived in my mailbox. I was at our Lake Home with my sister and son when this photo was taken and YET, under the photo of MY husband with Laurie read the caption “Guy and Wendy McCollum enjoying a candle lit dinner at City Club.” Be me. Be me with my twin sister asking “who is that? Isn’t that YOUR dress?” 

I was already in marriage counseling and my ex is running around town with someone who doesn’t even look like me and posing for photos? I could not believe it. 

I had already strongly suggested to stop parading Laurie around Fort Worth. Why? Getting stopped at Ridglea Country Club by employees to ask about “his sister” had already alerted me to the fact that Laurie had created a new identity as his sister. 

I had continually insisted that Guy stop embarrassing me in Fort Worth or Arkansas long before the City Club circular came in the mail. 

I decided to immediately rent a townhouse for myself and my son that I could easily afford with my job at Cadillac because obviously marriage counseling wasn’t making a dent in my trust issues and someone wasn’t bothering to do anything to re establish it either. 

If your husband or wife is unfaithful, he or she isn’t going to change. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’ve done that. 

Confrontation is difficult but, it’s especially difficult when you have days to study the photo in a circular of your “happy husband” smiling at the camera wearing the Anniversary watch YOU bought him. 

Yes, I looked at every detail and noticed Laurie was wearing one of my necklaces with matching earrings. I wondered what else she had borrowed and, if she was the same shoe size too? 

I was SO LIT about that photo of Guy and Laurie you will never know. Since he was out of town on “business,” I called him to demand why on earth we were bothering with marriage counseling when every time I left town, he was meeting Laurie in Fort Worth while I was at the Lake House OR meeting her in another city and hotel. 

Laurie was a literal blanket over my marriage. She was suffocating me and I was for years, helpless to change the dynamics. 

I had to prepare. I had to be able to support myself and my son. Private school, housing and other factors drove my decision to plan and execute leaving. 

My ex husband: “It’s just an overlap. I don’t know why you are so upset about this. You are a workaholic and often busy with your sister and her family. I told you both not to adopt the twins and yet, you and Cindy did so anyway. I have issues because you don’t listen to me and Laurie helps my self esteem.” Laurie was destroying my self esteem. 

My ex husband had nothing to do with adopting the twins either. I helped my sister hire an attorney and was listed as a secondary guardian. Throwing the twins into that argument was not only arrogant of him but also, intentional to change the subject. 

I was so sick of dealing another Laurie argument that I decided to use one of those love letters with a return address and hired a PI to find out more about “old Laurie” smiling back at me in that photo. 

I was going to find out whatever I could regarding this home wrecker AKA Laurie and use the information to “out” her to her husband if in fact, she was married. I was right. Laurie was married. Humph. 

I knew that Guy wouldn’t support her financially and wholly because he was quite stingy with his money. My ex had a habit for going after married women. 

After all, I paid my own bills and insurance and even bought my own groceries. My ex wasn’t freewheeling with his money enough to support a love nest for Laurie. 

Years of Laurie haunting my marriage had turned me from a victim constantly feeling sorry for myself when I wasn’t crying about my inability to get rid of Laurie. Instead, I was turning into a a fighter for victory. 

A week after hiring the PI, Laurie’s husband was looking at the same photo from the privacy of his office. I didn’t send that certified package to Laurie’s home because I knew she would most likely, intercept it. 

Those love letters sent to my home were in the same envelope. I felt like her husband needed to read them himself and since my ex saved them in one of his drawers, I included the photo from City Club and the love letters in the same envelope. 

On the one hand, I felt sorry for Laurie’s husband but, on the other hand, he needed to know what was going on. He was as much a victim of this affair as I was. 

I don’t believe in infidelity. If you can’t be honorable to the person you married, get a divorce.

The phone calls from Laurie and her ridiculous love letters finally stopped after my investigation to find out more about her. After all, she knew quite a bit about me from my dress size to my perfume to even my schedule! 

After alerting her husband, Laurie finally left my ex alone. Old Laurie was now quite busy “sweeping her own porch at home.” 

I finally got did get rid of the woman who consistently caused my ex to leave the room to “take this important call.” 

My broken self esteem and trust would take another hit with that tax lien but, I was through feeling sorry for myself. I was worth fighting for and, I was preparing for a tax battle in order to defend myself. 

If you are having an affair, it’s most likely that your spouse is aware something is going on. Get a divorce and spare your spouse. It’s the honorable thing to do. 

By the time I had married my second husband, I was smart enough to never quit my job or give up my income. Throughout my life, the one thing I could count on was working. I’m serious. Work is my salvation.

During my second marriage, I actually even changed jobs in order to have a car and make more money. 

Leaving a job that I had worked nearly ten years was based entirely on a commission cut that greatly affected my earnings. I literally couldn’t afford to stay. 

Taking a job making three times the money with free gas and a free car was the smartest move that I have ever made. EVER. I’ve done a lot of smart things in my life but, Cadillac was the smoothest move careerwise that I’ve ever made. 

Quickly, I went from struggling to pay my bills to taking my sister, son, nieces and grandnieces on fabulous vacations. Beautiful demos and free gas? Best move ever. 

I didn’t trust anyone to support me and because of my fear, refused to stop working prior to my second marriage. By the time I married my second husband, I already had my own credit cards and checking account. I also had bought myself a Taurus wagon with air conditioning and was really proud of it. 

This next part is really important and soon, you will find out why. Tax liens are based on income. I had no access to my ex husbands income during the six years of our marriage and, I could prove it. 

I didn’t benefit from my ex husbands income because I had no access to it. What he didn’t know was about to hurt him regarding that tax lien. Seriously. A king counting his coins was about to lose his crown. 

Checking the mail with my usual apprehensive hand, that letter from Tarrant County addressed to ME was the last nail in the coffin of my marriage. 

I was already “feathering my nest” at my secret townhome because I had nothing left to give and because I’m a planner. 

I couldn’t take it anymore with Laurie’s perfume wafting through my weekend home or my home in Fort Worth. She was everywhere. 

Wondering if Laurie was wearing my clothes and sleeping in my bed, I didn’t feel guilty about preparing to leave my husband. In fact, I felt entitled. 

I had left my first husband after being hospitalized one last time and didn’t prepare. The violence and the fear drove me to act without planning. I made a mistake then and  would never make it again. 

Not having money or credit when you are filing for a divorce is a real problem. I would learn from my mistakes. 

Ironically, my first and second husbands both kept my cars. Because of this, I had to find a way to get a vehicle on my own. 

I worked hard at establishing my credit after my first divorce and I refused to let that tax lien destroy my credit. Flat out refused. This was war. 

My ex: “I’m going to pay that. Stop overreacting. I make enough money to cover it and I will take care of it.” 

Sure, that’s why you had a history of tax liens in the first place. Probably if my ex hadn’t also had an affair throughout our marriage, I might have believed him but, years of lies had effectively “snapped me out of it” 

By the time I decided to leave my second husband, you can bet your ass that I was overprepared. After all, I had a son to consider and I had gone from the once happy carefree mom leaving a volatile first marriage to the beaten down shell of my former self after pulling myself together from my first divorce. My second marriage was killing me. But, from the outside looking in, others envied my position. If they only knew! 

That tax lien was an unforgivable “gift” that would take me years and years and years to satisfy. I simply could not be a doormat anymore. If saving myself from a marriage that took far too much from me upset my ex husbands friends and family, they didn’t have truthful or reliable facts regarding how “Wendy nearly destroyed Guy by putting a tax lien on him.” Guy nearly destroyed Wendy but, Wendy got back up. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to get even more than it was that I wanted to get my credit back. 

The difference was that Wendy learned tax law and Wendy reversed the lien. After all, I wasn’t earning nearly enough per year to warrant a tax lien of nearly 80k. Let’s get real here. 

Standing there holding a tax lien with Susie the housekeeper asking if I was okay that day years ago, I knew that something else besides old Laurie was going on that (most likely) had been going on for quite some time. 

My ex had a lot of secrets. 

His first wife also divorced him for being unfaithful. I wouldn’t know this until meeting her though during my divorce. 

I actually met her at Cadillac. Like me, she was devastated by affairs. Like me, she found someone she could finally trust again. 

Trust is like a drinking glass. When it’s broken, don’t expect it to hold water with anyone else. 

The day I opened that tax lien, I drove my Cadillac like a lunatic to the Courthouse. I sat on the Courthouse steps crying my eyes out. 

How would I buy a home? A car? Get a job? My credit was ruined. Credit I had carefully all for my entire life created. I couldn’t stand it. Wouldn’t stand it. 

Wearily, as people passed me (most of them attorneys) wondering why that redhead didn’t go home and cry, I decided I was going to fight back AGAIN just like finding Laurie’s husband to get rid of her once and for all. 

This time, I needed tax knowledge. I had a part time job at H&R Block by the end of the week. 

That’s right. I was going to learn all about tax law and… get paid to do it! I went to libraries and stayed up late reading about tax law when I wasn’t moonlighting at H&R. 

Wars aren’t won without preparation. You don’t just get lucky. You prepare. You plan and eventually, you execute your arsenal of knowledge to properly defend yourself. 

Since my ex husband told me his usual “get over it” about this devastating tax lien, I was going to “give it back” instead. 

Like tennis, the ball in my court would effectively be bounced back. 

I filed for Innocent Spouse 3 weeks later from the comfort and security of my new townhome. It was beautiful and cozy and I loved it. No mail problems either.

Although I still checked for mail at my “other house,” my ex wasn’t aware of it. I found a letter from his tax attorney (that’s right he had plenty of money for attorneys). 

Looking at that return address, I took the letter. After all, my name was on it too. Although I had already moved to the townhome, I didn’t feel guilty opening a letter from a tax attorney that had my name on it. 

I faxed this letter to my caseworker at the IRS from Frank Kent Cadillac (my day job) after reading it. 

The letter: “Guy, Wendy has never had an issue with the IRS. You’ve had 17 tax liens the past 20 years. It’s in your best interest to move this burden to her.” Well now, this WAS planned. 

Now, back to separate checking accounts, credit cards and other “personal property,” it’s important because between that letter AND our separate completely separate money, I won that Innocent Spouse case and cleared my credit too. That’s right. True story. Thanks H&R Block you helped me more than you will ever realize. Really! 

My money and car problems were solved FINALLY. Running my own Cadillac ads? Pure genius. 

I had been a print and commercial model for years and knowing that my ex was looking at MY SMILE from Ridglea Country Club looking back was pure and sweet revenge. True story.The tax lien would be removed from my credit after finally winning the tax lien war. I was feeling great and it showed. 

No more tears for me ya all. I fought harder to protect my credit and my future than anyone ever had expected. I educated myself and I survived.

I also explained my “scenario” to my Bride just as I have to you dear readers. You can overcome someone breaking your trust. You can learn to love again. I did. You can also learn something new everyday. Education is something no one can take from you. 

But, for those who either don’t know that “luggage” of your partner can and will affect you after marriage, it’s news you can literally use. 

The IRS will send you a letter regarding your charge off debts as “income” too. That’s right. Months after successfully resolving credit card debts, consumers may receive 1099-C “Cancellation of Debt” tax notices in the mail. 

Why? The IRS considers forgiven or canceled debt as income. Creditors and debt collectors that agree to accept at least $600 less than the original balance are required by law to file 1099-C forms with the IRS and to send debtors notices as well. 

The more than 4 million taxpayers a year who receive the forms must report that portion of forgiven debt as “income” on their federal income tax returns. 

Why? Because you didn’t pay your debt and therefore “benefited financially” from your failure to do so. 

After this important discussion with my Bride and explanation as to why I know so much about IRS Liens and Debt Forgiveness or even Zombie Debt, my Bride must have a serious discussion about what else the Groom is hiding. It’s an important discussion. 

There’s a reason I hate surprises and the reason is that I’ve been surprised myself. 

Leaving my home worried about my Bride, I went to take a look at a trade. This wall hanging fish has been something I’ve always wanted. 

The photo uploaded to The Pawning Planners looked great and, I was interested in this item. I had planned to hang it above my fireplace. 

Don’t ask me why because I don’t even fish but, nonetheless and anyhow, my Pawning Planners Client wanted to barter her ex husbands swordfish hanging in exchange for a Divorce Party. 

Since I hadn’t officiated their marriage, I wasn’t uncomfortable planning the party. 

It should be noted that I cannot celebrate a divorce of any couple I’ve married. 

There was substantial damage to this item as it had been thrown across the room prior to the client thinking about Bartering the item. The photo uploaded had been taken BEFORE the damage occurred. 

Because of this, we worked out another trade instead. It’s impossible to fix a broken taxidermist item. Fish or animal. 

I saw my ex again years after our divorce. He walked over and told me he loved me but, he never forgave me for the tax lien. 

I laughed and said “you underestimated me. It wasn’t easy to represent myself in a Tax Matter. I couldn’t afford to hire a Tax Attorney either. You also believed that I was disposable. Did you marry Laurie?” He was shocked and admitted that after Laurie divorced that she wasn’t interesting anymore. 

Hopefully, Laurie learned to be faithful to her next husband? We can all hope. 

Love is sacrifice. Love is based on trust. Remember that because it’s important. My ex might’ve loved me but, he certainly never proved that to me. 

Over the past 12 years, my ex and I finally became friends again prior to his death. I had to put anger behind me because it’s debilitating. 

Rings or Regrets aside, I’m waiting to hear back from my Bride on whether the show will go on or not. 

Sadly, this Dana Point Bride is as crushed as I am that her Groom was moving MORE than his clothing and furniture into her home. What do I mean? He’s also bringing his past problems to merge into his future life. 

I’m not even sure that this wedding won’t be cancelled. Who could blame her? 

My travel arrangements are already paid so, I’m going regardless if for no other reason that to comfort her over hot tea or a stiff drink and let her know she isn’t alone. 

Experience is a great teacher and I’m guessing, my Bride is having second thoughts. 

By the way, since you are probably wondering, I insisted on a credit report from Matthew. I did explain why I wanted to know if he had credit issues and after hearing why, he understood my reasons. 

Never knowing that a year into my marriage that my husband would go broke and get sued wasn’t something I could anticipate. Protecting him and forcing non suits on his Lawsuits? 

Yes, I fought for him because he wasn’t throwing me under a bus INTENTIONALLY. My other husband did that and no one was ever going to do it again. 

My current husband is forever grateful that rather than crying in my beer that we had gone broke in three years, I got up and educated myself. 

I learned how to fight back for him and I did something no one else would have to protect him. I saved him from Default Judgments. I saved him from a lifetime of lawsuits. 

We no longer are haunted by third party attorneys. We no longer live beyond our means. We have built back our savings and more because we’ve learned a valuable lesson. What is it? If we can’t afford to pay cash, we don’t buy it. Even ours cars are paid in cash. 

Sharing is caring. If your partner isn’t sharing the good, the bad and the ugly, you need to ask more questions…I wish I had…

“Don’t Invite Me To Dinner And Expect Me To Cook” More #Cindyism Quotes…

Cindy doesn’t cook unless she has to. Quite frankly, when she does cook it’s on the highest setting possible. If the smoke alarms going off, Cindy is in the kitchen. 

Over the years, its become plainly apparent that our adult children (34, 31 and 29) always expect us to foot the bill when we are dining out together.

My niece, Leigh Ann also only eats at restaurants with waiters. Whether Cindy “burns something up at home” or not, Leigh Ann won’t eat it. I don’t understand this because Leigh rarely eats home cooked meals at my house either. 

Perhaps because Cindy and I grew up poor, we are far less “picky” about what we are going to eat and more importantly, where. 

Since, I’m currently in California and flying back again on October 15th for a week, Leigh Ann has decided to tag along. I don’t have an issue with Leigh Ann and the baby going but, I am renting a large minivan to accommodate everyone and limiting luggage. 

Leigh Ann packs as if we are leaving for a month. Carrying a car seat and other essentials for baby Maddie last year through DFW and LAX was a bit of a hurdle with my own luggage I’m not going to lie. 

Traveling with a toddler isn’t easy and we’ve been traveling with young Madyson for two years now. 

My niece loves the Ritz Carlton at Dana Point and The Beverly Hills Hotel. Leigh Ann loves designer clothing and the “luxe life” but, her husband is a Navy Officer on a tight budget.

Parking a car at a hotel in California alone can easily run $40-60. Our lunch last year at Chateau Marmont was over $200 with tip and I left hungry as did Cindy. Traveling is expensive. P.S. the bread and fruit with cheese tray isn’t worth it. Order something else at the Chateau. You will thank me later. 

Discussing spending and expenses with Leigh Ann is always an ongoing issue. The problem? Budgeting. My niece is a shopaholic. Going into any store with her is an expensive endeavor to such an extent that Cindy now asks “are YOU buying that?” 

Our production company has Airfare and Hotel Expenses covered but, entertainment and food aren’t free and my niece is highly particular. 

Quite frankly, Cindy and I are concerned about covering ALL of the expenses for Leigh Ann and her expensive expectations out of pocket. 

The last year has been a very expensive and unexpected array of expenses from my emergency surgery to losing Ann and subsequent funeral expenses to paying for Stephaney’s car being towed over and over again while also covering Stephaney’s fines and outstanding warrants and now, to our roof caving in. Quite literally, I don’t know what else to expect next around here.

This afternoon, I had a “discussion” regarding Leigh Ann bringing her own money for entertainment expenses and dining since Leigh Ann with be staying in our hotel rooms with the twins. Me: “have you set aside money for the upcoming trip?” Leigh Ann: “I am overdrawn and need you or mom to cover me.” Me: “I told you a month ago when we bought your airline ticket that I needed you to stop shopping and spending money to set aside for this trip.” Leigh Ann: “You and mom always pay for everything and I need to buy clothes for this trip.” My husband: “If Leigh Ann and Maddie are going, you need to talk to her about saddling you with her expenses.” Cindy’s husband: “Leigh Ann doesn’t pay rent. Why is she always broke?” Cindy: “I wish I had some help around here washing clothes, cleaning house and paying for everything. I’m never going to have an empty nest.” 

My son: “Leigh Ann is so spoiled. She has the latest electronics. She doesn’t pay rent and she drives a new car and is always tagging along with you and Cindy for filming. Last year, Leigh Ann was upset that she didn’t get to tag along to Ohio AFTER going to California in September with you and October too. You and Aunt Cindy spoil Leigh Ann.” 

Obviously, my son is leaving out the part that he travels quite frequently himself and…I pay the hotel expenses. Not infrequently, I also listen to complaints about the quality of the hotel that I am paying for from my son or daughter in law. All three of our adult children compare each other and bicker. 

Filming is work! If you’ve never done it, you think it’s fun. It isn’t. Wearing a Mike for hours on end and reshooting something over and over again is work. Finding time to even eat while filming is practically impossible. “Don’t mess up your makeup. Don’t stain your clothes. We don’t have a lot of time.” Meanwhile, the production crew is enjoying a leisure lunch while you are working to set up or doing other things that actually PREVENT you from enjoying lunch. 

Ask me, I know and Cindy knows too. Filming is following directions and no matter how exhausted you might be, trudging on. Our children, grandchildren and husbands don’t realize this though because “it looks like you’re having a lot of fun.” Don’t listen to music if you have cameras in your SUV pointing at both you and your sister. Don’t eat. Don’t smoke. Don’t drink anything. “Hey Wendy, we need you to talk more to Cindy like you normally would.” A walkie talkie in my cup holder gives direction while I’m driving and a van with a camera guy hanging in a net beside me films us driving down HWY 20 West Bound and Hammered Down. Sure…filming is fun! If you have never done it. It’s work baby. Believe me when I tell you that anything you say can be cut and edited there aren’t any “personal conversations.” Filming is WORK. It looks like a lot of fun if you aren’t being filmed but, being in front of a camera isn’t watching TV and relaxing. It’s being “on” all day and getting up the next day to do it all over again. 

Since everyone keeps asking about my dad, I can’t say things have improved. In fact, today while visiting dad, he had an umbrella stuck over the table because the invisible intruders are “pumping poison in the air vents again. Can’t you smell it? They are trying to kill me over here.” 

Rolling my eyes about how my dad has continued to believe that people are poisoning him baffles me. I’m highly concerned that my dad is becoming senile. 

No matter what I do, my dad refuses to believe that there’s no need to continue sleeping in his car in the driveway. 
I’ve had a year of this “invisible intruder” stuff with my dad. 

His house is now a disaster zone of covered vents and other items no one would expect and, it’s a year too much. 

My brother refuses to listen to anything I tell him about my high concerns about dad. Why? My brother isn’t in Texas. Our brother hasn’t seen dad’s house either. Cindy and I have. I live 3 minutes from my dad. 

For those who missed my July blog of family issues AND craziness, here’s the link– What About Dad? Caring For Seniors Requires Patience & Humor.

Over the past year I’ve visited three family members in 7 different Psych Wards. I’m sick and tired of putting on a happy face in an unhappy situation. My niece has now moved in with my father. I lost my stepdaughter, was diagnosed with tumors on my ovary, and my sister and I have struggled to look normal when the things we’ve dealt with this past year are far from normal. 

Sharing the joy of hearing that Deanna was pregnant only to lose the baby months later and help bury her daughter was one of the hardest things that I have ever done since burying Gretta and loss continues to follow my days as of late. I cannot believe that Ann is gone either. It was a year of dominos falling out of place with unexpected loss for me. I can’t wait for this year to move on quite frankly. 

My brother, sister in law, aunt and cousins have their “usual opinions and bad advice” while sitting on the sidelines. None of them have ever been to a Psych Ward or first hand dealt with watching my niece, Stephaney involuntarily committed much less, my father. 

Since everyone keeps asking why Cindy and I “turned down Dr Phil Helping Stephaney,” here’s the skinny on how trying to get help for my niece went bad and fast with Dr Phil’s Production Company– Is Dr Phil Helping Or Hurting Families? What You Didn’t Know About This Show.

After being contacted by the Production Company regarding finding Stephaney help, I had thought (who wouldn’t) we had an answer to the past year of arrests, involuntary Psych Ward “Stints” and craziness but, Dr Phil didn’t really want to help Steph. Dr Phil wanted drama. Dr Phil wanted dirt and, Dr Phil dug deep enough to find that Leigh Ann was the child of rape. Yep. The “interview” wasn’t solely about Steph. The interview dug back to my heroin addicted mother. Our horrific battle of survival and two bad marriages of violence and infidelity. Cindy and I have been through the ringer and overcome hardship but, Dr Phil wanted to get something on everyone that no one wanted to discuss on TV. 

Thanks Dr Phil, our family was now completely broken as if it wasn’t broken enough already. Now, my sister has to relive that night and my niece “feels dirty” because your production company loves to stir up ratings.

For seventeen years, my sister and I have tried to save Stephaney. Leigh Ann is a germiphob and this “who is your father” line of questions threw another dagger into my sister simply because we were trying to help Stephaney. 

Leigh Ann told Cindy “I feel like a trash can now. My life is ruined.” As usual, Cindy’s feelings regarding being violated were overlooked. Who felt worse about this dark secret? My sister. I sent a text to Leigh Ann telling her “you are the child of a rape victim. You were not the rape victim. Your behavior is further victimizing my sister. Stop it. We raised you together without ever considering how you got here. You are loved and you are punishing my sister. Stop it. She’s suffered enough in this life. I mean it.” 

Perhaps because I’ve had so many visits to family members at Psych Wards, I’m now scared that I will lose my mind next? Cindy isn’t too far off either. Actually Cindy told me something truthful at Wellbridge while visiting our dad everyday and hating it. “They get themselves committed and then have the luxury of telling us what to bring them. They are the ones that got themselves into all this and here we are, running around taking their calls, going to visits everyday. Juggling our schedules and dealing with their drama. I am sick of visiting Psych Wards.” She was actually saying what I was thinking! 

Having a family member in a Psych Ward at one location, another at a different location and running around bringing them clothes, toiletries, cigarettes and everything else they want WHILE crazy people are touching your hair in the visitation area and you are trying to act normal is the WORST EXPERIENCE in the world. My sister and I have had to do this Psych Ward visit stuff over and over for not only Stephaney but also our dad while working, taking Client calls and trying to return home to our husbands and my grandnieces feeling mentally exhausted AND helpless. 

Last week, I had asked Cindy to stay at my house to let the workers in and out while I literally ran to the courthouse to pull the latest lawsuit on dad. My dad keeps throwing important letters away. So, I keep going to the courthouse to get a copy. My dad and Stephaney consistently send Cindy or I lunatic text messages or, they call. 

Seeing a call from my dad coming in on either Cindy’s phone or mine is similar to having all the wind sucked out of your body. It’s exhausting. You don’t know what to expect and you never will. 

If you missed the blog about mental illness being hereditary, unpredictable and horrifying, here it is–On The Outside Looking In. Mental Illness, Addiction & My Family.

I went to Corsicana on my way back from Hodge Unit and Tennessee Colony Wednesday to speak with Gina. Cindy and I were actually there on our way back from TDCJ Weddings to Appraise a tractor for an upcoming going away party for her grandson joining the military. 

Many of you remember Brody Nolan joining the Army and the going away block party and we why it was so important to his mom that he have a proper send off. 

Gina was in a similar situation to Angie Nolan but, the tractor was worth far more than the services she was asking of us and, Gina needed the tractor as she lived on a farm. 

Cindy had just taken a call from dad and like me, was trying hard to control her anxiety in front of Gina. Telling a Client “my dad sees invisible people and shoots his ceiling or has started spraying brake cleaner in the air vents and lighting them on fire” would sound so insane that people might assume that Cindy or I were crazy although nothing could be further from the truth. 

I’m so tired of these crazy phone calls, texts and occasionally, my family (except Cindy of course). Cindy and I have aged at least ten years in the past year. We have lost our joy in life. 

We cry silently while cleaning the house or cooking dinner because we no longer have no idea what to expect anymore. We decline calls from other family members who think this is all hilarious. There is nothing hilarious about watching dad or Stephaney handcuffed and committed. It’s not funny. It’s sad and the heartbreaking reality of my life.  

Walking outside to take a call from my husband because I can’t hear anything in our home with electricians, plumbers, and everyone else coming and going into home, uk beginning to think my husband wishes he had somewhere else to go other than our home that is currently a wreck over a week after the roof fell in. It may be the one last thing that has pushed him over the edge. 

Matthew obviously needs a few martinis to unwind. Why? Over a week of “we will be there between 8AM and 5PM” contractors, painters, and everyone else coming and going to repair the damage to our home has me tag teaming with Matthew so that Cindy and I can get a break from Fort Worth and hit the road to go meet Clients. Even my grandnieces join us on road trips since they are homeschooled. 

When I’m away working, Matthew has to drop everything and run home. We are both exhausted from the roof collapse and tired of not being able to find ANYTHING around here. 

I love leaving Fort Worth to head to a Unit or Client Meeting. LOVE IT because it takes me away from the reality of my life in Fort Worth. My tattered home, my unpredictable family, my grieving husband and my inability to fix everyone. 

Too much has happened in the past few months for Matthew and I. Our marriage is suffering because of it. We are strangers in a strange land. We have both lost too much this year to not only death but also mental illness. We both failed to fix Ann, Stephaney or my dad and we have both tried to act like the loss, the drama and the unpredictability haven’t affected our marriage but, we are acting. 

My husband and I no longer laugh or enjoy the things we once did. The night our roof fell in, we had planned to go to our anniversary dinner. Long forgotten now is our Anniversary. I don’t know if my husband and I will be able to weather the loss of Ann or repair the sadness of watching my niece arrested and subsequently, committed behind our home. My family is at odds with Cindy and I trying to Save Stephaney or dad. My husband is sick of my families drama and the ripple effect it has on me. Since losing Ann, even a commercial makes my husband cry. I have no idea how to fix my husband or my family.

Walking back into Gina’s ranch style home, I heard Cindy and Gina talking about her teacup collection. Cindy loves working as much as I do because it takes our minds off our own problems back home. 

I told Gina that the tractor by far outweighed the expense and we were happy to sponsor her at our expense. Gina started crying. I’ve had so many Pawning Planners Clients over the years begin crying that I can’t even begin to list them all. 

My husband is at his whits end with our home, losing Ann, and my illnesses. Convincing my dad and my niece, Stephaney to take their medication is like arguing with a brick wall. 

The roof caving in only added to a stressful home life for us both and my dog, Foxy Wortham. It’s also been really stressful that we buried Ann. I can’t believe it. Funerals this year have literally sucked the joy from my life. Loss is permanent. 

Many of you knew Ann and my husband is still and may forever be grieving about the shocking loss of his daughter to our family. For those who missed the blog about Ann, here’s the link– The Daughter I Gained And Lost, Ann Alexander.

Today, I asked my website designer, Michael to go ahead and remove Ann from my sites. It was sad but, necessary. The continued requests for her to Officiate continue to pour in. Ann had taken over my County Jail Weddings. I cannot believe she’s gone. One minute planning her birthday party and the next, she was gone. We miss you Ann. 

My pathology report finally came back from my emergency surgery last month. I don’t use the word because I’ve had far too many run ins with the “C” Word. Thyroid, breast and ovarian. I’ve now had 12 emergency surgeries in the past 20 years. Occasionally, the fact that I’m waiting on another shoe to drop isn’t lost on me. If I have a sinus infection, I fear it’s the “C” word. 

I’m thankful that I’m out of the woods this time with yet another unexpected surgery but, leery of what lies ahead. I never know until sitting in the Dr’s Office waiting for the next “serious discussion.” 

I’ve missed the bake sale at the Mingus/Gordon Bake Sale for the Food Pantry for 4 months now and send money instead to donate and buy paper products. I can’t bring myself to go to Gordon. Neither can my sister. My aunt and my cousins will ask about my dad or my niece and I simply can’t stand more questions when the truth is so devastating. 

Rather than improving, things are becoming far more unstable for my dad. Stephaney living with him has also put her in a difficult situation of “going along with him.” I’ve taken that tact myself. So has Cindy. Arguing or attempting to convince him otherwise creates a volatile situation.

I noticed fire extinguishers everywhere at dad’s house and the air vents my dad had covered up a month ago, are now singed from fire since my dad is planning to “smoke them out. They are shooting poison through there can’t you smell it?” I cannot stand it. My dad will not listen to me and reason about no one being in his house. I will never understand this. Any of it. 

I’d love to tell you that dad’s improving but, he isn’t. We speak to his social worker again next week and I’m highly concerned my dad is going to burn his own house down but, unable to convince him of this. 

I worry my niece, Stephaney will die in the fire on the second floor so, I’ve bought her an escape ladder. My dad is more and more unpredictable! 

My cousins and aunt find all of this “paranoid behavior” of dad or Stephaney amusing. It isn’t. Dealing with mental illness most of my life among my relatives including my mother, grandfather, and now my dad and niece isn’t funny. 

It’s sad, it’s raw and mental illness took Ann from all of us. I couldn’t save her and I fear that I cannot save dad or Stephaney either. 

Stephaney doesn’t want to leave dad’s house. She’s accustomed to his fears and theories. I wish my dad would listen to me but, I cannot force him to do so. Cindy can’t either. We are in a whirlwind of chaos with the only “break” being with our Clients. 

Deanna Villarreal messaged me today. I had married her and Burt a little over two years ago and a few months ago, Baptized their baby.

Tragically, the baby didn’t survive and a few days later, I officiated the Memorial. Deanna was asking about starting a GoFundMeAccount and I will be sharing the campaign on my social pages in order to help this family. I never expected the family to lose the baby. 

For some reason, I was certain that the baby Deanna wanted so badly would live but, God needed that little girl in Heaven.  

I’m really looking forward to seeing Gina again in November when the Fall weather will make an outdoor event comfortable and glad we can help her.

I have no idea what will happen next. But, worrying about my family hasn’t changed anything… 

What You Might Not Have Planned For? Outing Myself & My Beliefs. Love Is Love…

Eight years ago, my husband was concerned that my open mindedness would open me up to criticism. Last Friday, I learned my husband was right.

For the first time in 8 years, a TDCJ Prison Wedding Client pulled the “LBGT Marriage is against my faith card.” Sure, I was shocked and hurt that my Client base was specifically why this Bride chose to effectively fire me. 

For eight years, it’s not unusual to read an email or even get a letter from someone who doesn’t even know me regarding their views on LBGT Marriage. My husband has made our home a literal fortress because I’ve had death threats. Last year, a man who sent a 10 page letter with his return address was arrested. I pressed charges.

A long drawn out text regarding her explanation further hurt my heart for anyone who has been judged simply because were viewed as “different.” 

I have many friends who are LBGT and was deeply hurt by all of this. Being judged for being LBGT Friendly has never come up with another Client.

The initial text stated that the Client, Jane Doe was considering cancelling her wedding. Alarmed, I asked if there was something she was concerned or nervous about? 

Prison Weddings are often the cause of a certain degree of anxiety for TDCJ Clients because no one actually really planned on marrying in a Texas Prison. 

I’m adding the initial text at 5:37PM last Friday for your review: 

“Good afternoon, Wendy. I haven’t received the contract yet, but something has come up and I’m looking at possibly needing to cancel and get a refund. I’m not 100% sure we will need to cancel at the moment, but what is your process for instances like this?” 

I read this text again. “I’m not 100% sure we will need to cancel at the moment, but what is your process for instances like this?” Well, you either are getting married or you aren’t. There isn’t any “I’m not sure” about it. Slightly confused, I thought perhaps the couple were at odds. What I didn’t think was that any of this had anything to do with me personally. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Because I have to keep an open schedule for TDCJ Weddings and therefore, limit bookings, I do not offer refunds but, I’m happy to reschedule. I do not schedule TDCJ dates and because of this, limit new bookings in order to be available for existing bookings.

Here’s my response to Jane Doe: “Contracts went go out Monday, Weds, and Friday. I mailed your contract on Weds. I have to hold my schedule open for TDCJ Weddings (because often I have no idea of the date as the Warden or Chaplain schedule) I’m happy to reschedule a wedding but, as outlined don’t offer refunds. What’s wrong? Call me please. If you just need to reschedule that’s not a problem. Please call me at your convenience to discuss the issue.” 

About fifteen minutes later, rather than calling me, my Bride answered with this text: 

“Forgive me for the long message; It started with my fiancé being concerned about the weather that day and was looking to see if it was possible to reschedule. Furthermore, per my fiancé, “I understand that the church is dividing over the LGBT community and it’s that divide that separates our faith. We were unaware of your support of same-sex/transgender marriages.” My fiancé does not support that view and is not okay with condoning it. Though we want to see all people come into the revelation of Christ Jesus and the grace and mercy of God, he believes that grace and mercy is a transforming power and he is not comfortable with continuing our marriage ceremony with someone who does not share that same faith. We thank you and we love you. You have been wonderful and super responsive and very helpful through this process leading up to today. We understand your policy on no refunds and accept it. I pray that there are no hurt or ill feelings, but we must stand by our faith. Thank you again for all of your help and we are sorry to end it this way and put you through any unnecessary work. Please call me if you would like to discuss further. I’m at work and did not want to delay communicating this to you any further.” 

Completely stunned, I reread the text three times before telling my husband what was going on and, asking his opinion. I was rattled and yes, the rejection got me like a load of bricks. 

My husband wasn’t shocked or surprised and told me while he was making dinner “I told you that half the people will support you and the other half would condemn you years ago. I’m fifteen years older than you and grew up in a time when everyone was divided. There are things I still remember about segregation. My family loved everyone and were ostracized because of it. I didn’t understand as a child why one person could use a water faucet and another couldn’t. I never will. The person who was more of a parent to me than my own parents was our housekeeper and her family. I loved Helen but, people treated us different in public. I went shopping with her and held her hand and people treated her differently. It pained me because I loved and admired the only mother figure I would ever know as a child but, she was black and I was white. I never understood why seeing me with Helen offended people? She was my family and my mentor. She was also my best friend until I left home. Fort Worth wasn’t “friendly” back then. This Texas boy lived in an enormous house across the street from a country club with an alcoholic mother and a father who preferred to be at work or “at the club” but anywhere away from his wife. My dad waited until I was eighteen years old to divorce my mom. He was a gentleman that wouldn’t leave her with a child still at home. Helen and I shared a friendship until her death. I also helped Helen pay the bills when she became too old to work. Every Christmas, I was at Helens home celebrating with the only real family that I had ever known. You cannot let bias hurt you. Bias is everywhere in this world. When I married you, I was asked if you were Hispanic by someone because you have dark skin and ethnic features. I told him “my wife is of mixed heritage. This has never bothered me because my wife didn’t choose her heritage and I wouldn’t care if she was purple. My wife has a kind heart because she’s endured a difficult life. If you ever ask her about her heritage in a condemning way, I promise our friendship will be ended forever.” 

Matthew meant it and one Christmas at the country club, this “friend” asked me in front of a group of people, “where are you from? Your skin is dark, your hair is red and your eyes are hazel. Are you an American?” 

I am more accustomed to this heritage or I look ethnic question than my husband and therefore, handle invasive questioning far better than he does. So, I answered. 

“My grandfather was full blood Cherokee. His mother was Polynesian and Gaumanian. My grandmother was Irish/Scottish and very fair skinned. My mother was Swedish. My heritage is a melting pot of different backgrounds and nationalities. I find it interesting that you are so curious about this although not surprising. Many people ask about the color of my skin and red hair. It’s an unusual combination. Pack your patience because it’s a long story if lineage. You see, years and years ago, my grandmother had milky white skin and red hair and her husband was nearly black in comparison to her fair skin with extraordinary blue eyes. People yelled things at them that should have never been said to anyone aloud. My grandparents ignored these catcalls or someone refusing to serve them. They never reacted to racism because they accepted it. People threw rocks at their house and pretended not to hear them when they spoke. People like you. People who think they are better but, they aren’t. People who assume that if you have darker skin, you are either a native or other invader of the United States. I’m neither. I’m from a Military family of four generations. Military members in my family have often married into different cultures or even ethnicities. In our family, it’s a literal melting pot.” 

I walked away with a smile at handling the awkward situation with grace. Life has been a good teacher to me. Judgment didn’t define me because it made me a better person. People who believe themselves to be “high on the pedestal” are often arrogant but rarely, educated. You’ve met them. We all have at some point in our lives. Country club people are almost always convinced of how superior they are. Money doesn’t make you intelligent but, it can certainly make people arrogant. I don’t miss the country club and fake friends. I had thirty years of their fakeness. Phony friends competing with each other. Most of them are far from rich though and up to their eyeballs in debt trying to look like they are wealthy when in fact they aren’t. 

People like the country club guy who think they are superior love to condemn or judge  others. People who think they are “more religious or have a stronger faith than everyone else” often have no tolerance for things that obviously have no impact on them. My aunt, my dad, my cousins and even others corner me whenever possible to tell me THEIR BELIEFS. My own family? Yep. My brother too. I’m so tired of my own family trying to tell me what they think that I now hang up! My own family also “don’t think prisoners should marry.” 

My aunt and I regularly “go at it” when my Clients or my business are brought up. I’m telling you that if my clients had any idea how much flack that I’ve had to put up with certain members of my family they would be shocked. My sister, my niece, my grandnieces, my son and daughter in law flat out “catch it” at family events because our family is actually divided. Thankfully, my aunt, my brother and my cousins don’t work with me. My dad won’t Officiate LBGT Weddings and I don’t care. For a multi ethnic family, you would think they’d be more open minded but, they aren’t. 

For starters, these “faith based Christians” aren’t marrying an LBGT or Transgender Partner so, why is it so important to them that I Officiate LBGT Unions?  

I’m not surprised that racism exists because hate exists. I WAS SURPRISED that someone I had spoke to a number of times and effectively, who had hired me HAD NOT interviewed me regarding my affiliations with LBGT Couples or even went to my website. 

If this issue “you Officiate LBGT Weddings” issue was “so important” why didn’t she ask sooner? I would have been happy to “out myself.” I now have to in order to keep something like this from happening again. All Wendy Wortham Websites are now being overhauled and my first interview with new clients will begin with “I’m LBGT Friendly AND I also Officiate Prison Weddings. Is that going to be a problem?” 

If it is, I have other members of my staff who can insist you. My homophobic dad for one. Yes, it bothers me but, life teaches you to learn from your past and, I am. History doesn’t repeat itself with me. 

Jane Doe had hired me to Officiate her Prison Wedding because she trusted me to perform the honor of officiating from a referral. I don’t advertise. I haven’t advertised in years and have no desire for More Bookings. 

I’m too busy focusing on Clients who need my attention to spread myself thin. I’m the only Texas Department Of Criminal Justice Officiant on my Texas Twins Events Team. There isn’t anyone else.

Standing in my disaster zone home with Sheetrock, insulation everywhere and plastic sheets separating doorways with stacked up furniture from the roof collapsing, I waited to respond to Jane Doe. The pouring rain on my damaged roof mirrored my feelings. This has been the worst year of my entire life. I’ve lost 7 people this year to Death, The Dark Stranger, I’ve had 3 emergency surgeries for the “c” word, my father and niece have been committed over and over again and I’m trying not to feel sorry for myself but, it isn’t easy. Thanks to Dr Phil, my family is like an egg that’s been stepped on. 

I’m at that Unit tomorrow with four other Brides who are honored I will be officiating their Prison Wedding.

I walked through the maze of two rooms of knickknacks, three rooms of furniture packed into two rooms, photos, and essentially my entire life of collecting pieces I loved that were now broken, photos damaged by water that are lost forever and broken furniture through the mess of wet insulation and everything else to speak to my husband over the roar of 10 air purifier/scrubbers in every room of our home to tell my husband I was uncertain about how to respond to Jane Doe. My husband is wise and I often consult him when I’ve been sucker punched. Actually, when I’m really sad or devastated. He’s been sad since Ann died. We are both broken. 

Matthew continued stirring fried rice and thought for a moment while sipping a martini before speaking. “First, she’s marrying a Prisoner. That on its own might put her in a position of being judged by many people who don’t support Prison Marriage. I’m certain that she hadn’t considered this. Second, our home is a disaster area. You are emotional right now. Have dinner then respond. Let the surprise and the sorrow wear off before you answer her. If it were me, I wouldn’t refund her. She’s wasted your time on numerous phone calls and now, affected your schedule as well as hitting you on a Friday night so you can be upset all weekend. But, that’s me. You do what you want and I’m sure you will go against your own rules and refund her but, you do what you want because you always do. In business though, you don’t owe her a refund. You spend hours walking people through the process and your time is valuable. You will also have to call the Unit and cancel because there are many people involved in the process of a Prison Wedding.” He’s right. 

Whether my client is in a car accident or had cold feet, if the wedding is canceled, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to notify the Unit ASAP as a courtesy to the Chaplain and Warden and, I’ve rescheduled other Clients before and cancelled two weddings due to cold feet. We all remember the Coffield Unit Bride. 

My husband listens while I’m talking on calls with TDCJ prospects or clients from 6AM to 10:30PM. My phone NEVER STOPS RINGING. 

TDCJ Clients compromise a very large portion of my time. It’s not unusual to have a TDCJ Client call or email 10-15 times before their actual wedding. 

That’s 10-15 times from ONE CLIENT asking different questions prior to actual event. Time consuming? You bet but, earning someone’s trust over the phone and never meeting them in person until the day of their event isn’t a “short conversation.” 

I spend far more time talking to TDCJ Clients than any other Client of Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners OR Texas Twins Treasures. It’s a fact. TDCJ Clients have FAR MORE QUESTIONS. Prison Weddings are a process. My TDCJ Torres Unit Bride has been waiting 5 months to get a date. My Stiles Unit Bride waited 7 months. 

I waited until after dinner Friday and walked through my dining room and den sideways to find a chair that wasn’t covered in insulation or plastic before answering Jane Doe. “I’m terribly sorry to hear this. Have you contacted the Unit to cancel or do you want me to do so? I’m sorry for the delay but my roof fell in and I’ve been working to organize as best I can through the rubble. I’m happy to call Monday if you haven’t already called the Unit and handle cancelling your Wedding for you. I’m very sorry about all of this and wish you much joy and happiness in your marriage.” 

I waited for a response while considering offering a partial refund of fifty percent. Knowing that she would need the money for another Officiant, I broke my own rules.

I’m well aware the handful of other TDCJ Approved Officiants charge far more than I do. Because of this and although my feelings were hurt, I sent a 50% refund to Jane Doe theough Paypal then, I called her. 

Meanwhile, Jane Doe responded via text. Her response? “Thank you so sooo much for the advice, it’s appreciated, heard, and received. I will keep that at the front of my mind!! I’m not even sure of our luck to find someone who does not officiate LGBT marriages, even then if they would be TDCJ approved on top of that, within our budget, and available before our marriage license expires, and approved by the Warden/Chaplain in addition to all of the above, ha. All that considered, we must lean on the Lord and pray he pave the way for our ceremony (even if it means postponing our marriage until after his release). Thank you for your kindness in refunding some of the fee. I will keep it to myself (not advertising to anyone you went outside of your policies). I have spoken very highly of you to my friends/family and of course would continue to do so, regardless of this unforeseen change in plans!!! God bless you, Wendy!! Praying for the rain to let up in your area and a quick remedy to prevent further damage with all the water!!” 

My house is a mess but, that’s not what’s weighing heavily on my heart. Work takes me away from the stress of my family and the loss that this year has brought to me. Work occupies my mind. Celebrating a wedding is the happiest time in my life other than my three grandnieces.

After speaking to her and reiterating that I would need to advise the Unit of her cancellation as a courtesy to both Warden and Chaplain, she advised me that she would call herself on Tuesday. Tuesday was 48 hours from the scheduled Event. 

Now, to better understand all of this, the Client cancelled because I perform LBGT Marriages. I decided to refund her half of her payment in order to find another Officiant as a courtesy. 

She obviously didn’t “feel comfortable with ME performing the ceremony.” So, I obviously wasn’t planning to leave my home at 6AM for an 8:30AM ceremony that wasn’t going to happen with her so, why on earth was she upset that I was notifying the Unit? 

I had to clear my schedule from our 9AM slot to work in my other clients at that Unit on that date. What part of all of this would upset Jane Doe? Stay tuned ya all…

I called the Unit Monday and left a message for the Chaplain. On the phone call with the Client earlier, I had already let her know that cancellations need to be communicated to the Unit asap. 

I heard nothing back from Jane Doe until yesterday (Tuesday) morning via text. Forty eight hours prior to the scheduled wedding ceremony at 9AM.

Again, I was shocked and stunned by yet another “gut punching text.” Here it is: “Wendy, over the weekend my fiancé was getting asked why I called off the wedding and canceled but the thing is that I never called up there. I really hope you didn’t call up there over the weekend and cancel, that would really hurt my heart. He’s been getting questioned why I canceled and asked if everything is okay like there might be problems and I got cold feet. I’m not sure how the warden would’ve found out. My plan was to call today when the Chaplain gets in, as he doesn’t work Mondays.” 

Wait…the Groom was upset that his wedding was called off? Wasn’t he the one who had issues with me performing LBGT Weddings? Now you are catching on. This was the most mysterious situation I’ve ever encountered. 

After nearly 2k events, I’ve encountered plenty of strange situations but, none like this! The Client initiated this cancellation not me. 

Let’s look at the details one more time. 1. Jane Doe wanted to cancel her wedding because I’m LBGT Friendly. 2. Jane Doe wanted a refund on a non refundable service. 3. Jane Doe was upset that I advised her that I would need to notify the Unit and did? 4. Jane Doe went from being loving and kind to unpredictable. 

What part of me contacting the Unit to advise the Chaplain the Bride cancelling was an heated debate or issue? AFTER I had refunded 1/2 of her payment Friday and it was clearly stated by Jane Doe herself that this Client did NOT want me to perform her marriage? 

Keep reading. It’s a hot mess. This type of situation is SO RARE that I’m documenting it. No one just “changes the Officiant on an I60. This document REQUIRES up to 6 signatures. Prison Weddings are a PROCESS that involve far more people than the couple, the Officiant, the Chaplain and the Warden. 

Getting permission to marry at a Texas Prison is a lengthy process for couples. Having an Approved TDCJ Officiant is also a REQUIREMENT. 

The original date was Approved using my name and credentials. No one simply “changes the name of an Officiant.” Quite the contrary, the entire process starts over. For obvious reasons, the date was going to change. Since my name was on the paperwork and I was well aware the Client chose to cancel, notifying the Unit shouldn’t have been a big surprise. 

My texted response: “I called the Chaplain. It is my responsibility to notify the Unit of cancellations. We had discussed this Friday evening. I need you to call me as I’m confused why notifying the Unit is upsetting to you. I have no idea what’s going on here. The Unit MUST BE NOTIFIED. You told me you wished to cancel. I am following protocol for this type of situation. I have no idea why you are upset.”

Jane Doe: “That’s not okay, Wendy. I’m at work and will have to call on my break or after 5.” Let me explain that the Chaplain leaves Units “after 5,” and if Jane Doe was going to wait until after 5 on Tuesday less than 48 hours before her expected slot at 9AM on Thursday, that’s NOT ACCEPTABLE to a Unit. The Warden and Chaplain don’t like or appreciate “last minute” notifications of a schedule change. Who does? 

Prisons accommodate weddings. The entire Unit is involved in the scheduling of a TDCJ Wedding. I’m also accommodating the Client with scheduling. 

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE INVOLVED. I have nine other Brides waiting on dates at Beto. We’ve lost Chaplain Moffett who was my favorite Chaplain of ANY TDCJ Unit. 

Holding off cancelling a wedding until the last minute at a Prison is such a bad idea that the Warden or Chaplain may very well assume that the person rescheduling will be another waste of the Units time. I’ve had three other Clients that are still waiting because they angeles the day before or on the actual day of their wedding. 

It’s a dangerous game to play at a TDCJ Unit THAT HAS PREVIOUSLY GIVEN A DATE AND TIME. If an entire Unit has gone to the trouble to accommodate you, the last thing you do is continue calling or texting a Unit to make changes. 

I am not “making this up.” A Client at Linda Woodman State Jail is STILL waiting for a reschedule. Another is waiting on a reschedule 3 months after cancelling her original date. Wardens don’t have time for wishy washy behavior or flakiness. They are busy people with a burdened schedule.

If Jane Doe had waited until the last minute to notify the Unit, and expected me not to notify the Unit, she made a mistake. I advised her of my intention to notify the Unit Friday evening. CYA. The last thing I need is a Warden asking why I didn’t bother to notify the Unit? 

My credibility is hard won. I’m early, I’m professional and I’m respectful at TDCJ Units. All Wardens AND Chaplains are aware of this. I’m not a game player. I’m organized and always professional. 

My schedule is mapped out months and even up to a year in advance on traditional events excluding funerals of course which obviously can’t be planned. 

These Jane Doe texts wouldn’t stop Tuesday so, I pulled over and called Chaplain White myself. Someone needed to clarify his schedule. 

Chaplain White told me that Officer Williamson “took a call from the Bride cancelling on Friday but, giving no reason. I also have a message from you, Reverend Wortham to the Law Library regarding your 9AM placed Monday.” 

I advised Chaplain White that I was confused as to why the Bride was angry about notifying the Unit if she had already done so herself. 

The Bride clearly didn’t want me to perform her ceremony and I had other Clients wanting to use her scheduled time if she wasn’t and I always notify Units of a cancellation as a professional courtesy. 

Chaplain White asked me to have the Bride contact him directly because he like me, had no idea what was going on. 

I sent Jane Doe another text: “I’m on the phone Chaplain White he needs to speak to you. Please contact the Chaplain. If you have found another Officiant, you will need to file an I60 and change the name of the Officiant. If you haven’t found an Officiant, and want me to perform the wedding, I NEED to know this. There are several people involved when a wedding is scheduled. The chain of command is that if someone cancels, the Officiant must notify the Unit. To my understanding, you contacted the Unit prior to the weekend? Officer Williams took your call. I am trying to schedule someone else and if you are taking the 9AM, need to notify the Unit to move the other bride to 1:30 in order to accommodate my other bride at 11. There needs to be clarification as to whether you intend to have your wedding at 9AM with me at the Unit. I would need to leave Fort Worth at 6AM to be on site at the Unit by 8:30AM for a 9AM Wedding Ceremony. Please call Chaplain White and clarify what your intentions are.” 

In the meantime, while sitting in a Prison parking lot with a now pounding headache, I refunded the rest of her payment via PayPal because I had spent my entire weekend upset about all this AND NOW was being contacted again for following the chain of command? I was attempting to wash my hands of this entire debacle. 

This texting situation had upset me beyond words. After all, I was about to walk into a Prison and go to work. Time to slap on my happy face and ignore my dad’s call again. 

I had just spent my entire weekend shocked and hurt over this rejection fiasco AND NOW five days later, was still dealing with Jane Doe!

Jane Doe after getting notification of another payment from me through Paypal, responded: “I spoke with Chaplain White a few minutes ago, unfortunately we will not be moving forward with you as our officiant as I explained to you Friday for faith based reasons. We are not going to marry on 9/27/18. Please let me know if I can provide more clarification. Thank you.”

Phone calls, emails, text messages and more are time consuming. Getting upset on a Friday with my entire home in a state of chaos because I Officiate same sex Weddings? I spend so much time with TDCJ Clients that the only time I’m not working is when I’m asleep. 

I will no longer refund ANYONE. I’ve spent hours talking to these Clients. Time that I will never get back is a priceless commodity to me and, if Clients aren’t aware that I’m LBGT Friendly, they should be. 

Anyone on any Wendy Wortham site realizes this. They also realize that I perform Prison Weddings. It’s blatantly clear! I’m not hiding in a closet somewhere and neither are my Clients.

When I started Texas Twins Events, my goal was to reach people who didn’t have parents to “foot the bill” of a wedding. 
I wanted to take my own experience and turn it into something positive. I was sick of working in courthouses or “the man” for ten years while juggling three other jobs before starting Texas Twins Events.

I wanted something fun to do with my family. As a cancer survivor, I know that life is too short to be miserable. Every day is a gift but, many folks fail to realize it. Ann and all of my other close friends who passed this year didn’t realize it either. From one shocking funeral or memorial to the next, the fear of an unexpected death including my own has been a shadow following me from day to day.

I didn’t have a mother or a father to pay for my wedding. Realizing that I was (most likely) not alone, I decided to take a portion of the proceeds from the sale of our house and start a People Over Profit based Events business, Texas Twins Events. 

Many of the people who came to us for help weren’t even looking for an Officiant, Photography or Coordination. There are several previous clients who needed rent parties, a Funeral celebrant or even help with a family reunion or estate liquidation. We all remember the lady who couldn’t afford to fix her fence. I don’t limit request solely because if I can’t help you, I can give you insight on how to help yourself. 

What my initial concept was had nothing to do with money. I no longer have to work to pay my bills. My “idea” was to create an opportunity of price structures far lower than anyone else because no one else was going to. By being cheaper than everyone else, my initial plan was to reach people who didn’t have a lot of money. 

I went in to my own business with an Open Mind and an Open Heart. I didn’t judge anyone or their situation. I have had a lifetime of judgment and hardships myself and because of it, a kind heart. 

Who else but Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners would take their twin, grandnieces, son or niece to Events? It’s literally a family affair if you exclude the family members who are “uncomfortable at LBGT Events.” We leave them at home. 

Dealing with the “General Public,” is a hard heartening experience. Some people will like you while others won’t. They can get over themselves and in my opinion, find someone else. Some people are too much work. The risk isn’t work the reward that will never come.

Texas Twins Treasures was started in 2009. When I started Texas Twins Treasures, I was already an experienced salesperson. 

Thirty years in sales taught me something important, if you have a problem Client, YOU WILL NEVER PROFIT from them. 

They will beat you down and call or email or find some reason to contact you about this or that. Cut them loose. Do it early. Save yourself. 

Life is a great teacher and tomorrow, I’m meeting four wonderful ladies who don’t care that I Officiate LBGT Unions. What they do care about is that I chose to help them plan their Life Event. I listened and I cared when others didn’t. These Brides are honored for my help and I’m honored to help them by planning their Prison Wedding. 

Advising anyone and everyone contacting me that they may be uncomfortable about my affiliation with LBGT Clients or Prison Weddings won’t be an easy “opening” but, I NOW realize it will be a necessary conversation.

There are good days and bad days in any business but, thankfully, my bad days have been few because I’m selective with Clients. 

After Jane Doe though, I’ve learned that line a few of my family members, not everyone supports LBGT Marriage. That’s okay, everyone is different…

“Don’t Steal Fruit From Your Neighbors Tree And Complain It’s Sour”

For the past year, I’ve been trying to help my niece, Stephaney who refuses to help herself and stay on her medication. 

As usual, “dealing with her drama” has worn my twin sister and I out. “Family is like a can of mixed nuts. The problem is most of them are peanuts and everyone wants the cashews, almonds or other varieties often viewed as better than the peanuts.” 

After hundreds of emails from other families facing similar issues with a relative dealing with their family member struggling with mental illness or addiction giving Cindy and I their advice, we’ve decided to move on to what we enjoy rather than consistently dealing with Cindy’s daughter and her regular “emergencies, needs, wants or demands.” 

This isn’t an easy decision for the only two people who cared about her but, it is a necessary one. Life is short. In two months, Cindy and I will be 54 years old. 

We’ve spent our entire life fixing family problems by trying to mend broken fences or spending thousands of dollars on rehab or car tows because my niece has been detained yet again. 

Cindy actually came up with another round of #Cindyism Quotes used on Pawning Planners Apparel that perfectly fit our current thoughts on “saving everyone and sacrificing any joy in our lives while doing so.” My grandniece Maddy has the perfect “look” for most #Cindyisms.Last Monday, while following Cindy to an Appraisal Appointment for a Pawning Planners Client, Cindy and I were on Bluetooth trying to come up with a solution to our “Saving Stephaney” saga while trying not to cry. 

For 17 years, our tears over trying to fix or save Stephaney have upset the rest of our family. While they complain about how sick of watching Cindy or I run off to Save Stephaney, Cindy’s other daughter, my son, our husbands and even Stephaney’s own twin daughters are sick and tired of hearing about yet another “Stephaney Fiasco.” Who could blame them? From the Bluetooth in my SUV, I told Cindy to decline the call coming in from Stephaney while trying to get to the location of the client. Why? Because looking normal in an abnormal world isn’t easy and we’ve both become great actresses at putting our “happy faces on.” 

Our happy faces hide our devastated faces when someone asks about Stephaney or tells us that they’ve seen her wandering around talking to herself again. We look happy for clients and our families on a regular basis. 

In fact, we’ve become trained at acting like everything is okay in our lives when in actuality, family drama is never far from either of our minds. We actually have no idea how to relax anymore. Here’s Cindy’s latest hilarious but true observations about not only Stephaney but, the client who was a hoarder that didn’t know her home had a dead cat buried in the rubble. Frankly, I was highly concerned about what else we were going to find!

By Tuesday, I was at TDCJ Coffield Unit to meet two Brides. After an impromptu photo shoot, Cindy and I hopped in my SUV to head home to Fort Worth some 2 1/2 hours from Coffield Unit. 

As usual, the crazy texts and phone calls were waiting for me on my cell phone as cell phones are not allowed in Prisons.  The reason I offer complimentary photos with my clients after leaving Units is that guards are not professional photographers as the above photos clearly prove. Having fun with Prison Brides on an otherwise somber event day gives them an opportunity to enjoy their day.

By 2:30PM, Stephaney finally answered the phone my sister has paid for the last 16 years. Why? So we can find Stephaney when she’s either off her meds again or, back on meth. It’s the sad reality of our lives. 

Stephaney claimed to be “at a Friends house.” Since she’s destroyed any friendships she’s had over the years, Cindy and I found this to be somewhat alarming but, we were hung up on.

Arriving back in Fort Worth by 4PM, Cindy and I met her other daughter, Leigh Ann who had the twins and her daughter, Madyson. We decided to take the kids to lunch at IHOP before going to Chuck E Cheese for a bit of family fun. 

By 5:05PM, my husband was calling to tell me that my niece, Stephaney was in the street waving her arms and barefoot “acting crazy again.” Because of this, my husband didn’t return home until Cindy and I could get to her. 

Why? My husband has seen Steph acting crazy too many times and didn’t want to get into a scene with her.Stephaney has been off the rails for a year now since mandatory drug testing was removed from her probation. She’s been through 5 jobs, committed 7 times and arrested 4 times. 

My niece is the most devastating family member we have ever been forced to deal with. 

That’s saying a lot because my mother was a heroin addict and train wreck herself.

Over and over and over again, Cindy and I have trusted Stephaney to get it together and, we have been consistently let down.

Stephaney had moved herself into the abandoned estate next door to me. Minutes prior to running in front of my husbands car without recognizing him, Stephaney was captured on video attempting to break into my home. 

Watching the video after finding her one street away throwing rocks at neighbors homes, I managed to get her into my SUV but, she jumped out when realizing I was taking her to the Psych Ward. 

For three months, I’ve attempted to coordinate with Dr Phil and get Stephaney in treatment. The problem? She doesn’t want treatment. 

My niece denies using meth although she’s tested positive EVERY TIME she has been committed to a psychiatric facility.

Cindy and I had finally decided to stop trying to find Stephaney two nights ago after our usual day of asking homeless people if they had seen her. 

We are sick and tired of looking for her or paying tow fees on her car or paying her probation fees or fines for traffic violations while buying her food and cigarettes or whatever else she needs. SICK OF IT.

The owner of the abandoned estate showed up over there on Thursday night. While we had hoped he would call the police, he didn’t. Instead, he cut off the electric and water. Stephaney has destroyed his property by knocking holes in the walls, ripping doors off the hinges and covering every room with trash from the food and drinks my sister and I have been providing as well as putting out cigarettes on the floors. 

If it were me, I would file charges for Destruction Of Property and send her to the Psych Ward or Jail but, the owner did neither of these things. Instead, the owner decided to “smoke her out” by cutting off the utilities.

I sent Stephaney videos of my surveillance cameras Tuesday evening and asked why she had been trying to break into my house? After all, her mother and I are the only ones who have been trying to help her.

The barrage of text messages from my niece were so alarming that I’m going to give you a few ideas of how cruel my niece is to not only her mother but also, me. “You are the worst mothers in the world. You haven’t helped me. I hate you both and hope you burn in Hell.” 

Well, any parent with a drug addict son or daughter has heard all this before. Drug addicts are horrible people. They are parasites. They are sociopaths who don’t care who they hurt and, my niece is all of the above. 

Cindy and I are busy with clients while raising Stephaney’s twin daughters the past 14 years without child support from either of their deadbeat drug addict parents. We are also finished with Stephaney. She has two outstanding warrants and is currently on felony probation and also has a hearing in Parker County on a DUI charge and two possession charges. Someone is crazy all right and the evidence is that it’s my niece.

I’m at Hodge Unit, Wallace Unit, McConnell Unit and Polunsky Unit as well as Beto Unit in the coming weeks as well as scheduled at four Appraisal Appointments with Cindy while handling bookings for Texas Twins Events before leaving for California in October.

The past year with Stephaney has been as Hellish as the past 17 years of her bad choices. We had only 3 1/2 years of my niece being off drugs and that “break” was due to Institutional Sobriety. 

Do to Stephaney’s upcoming court date for a DWI, she’s finally getting back on track but for how long? It’s anyone’s guess. At 31 years old, I pray that my niece gets its together long before our mother did at 45. 

You can’t pick your own family but, what you can do is limit the chaos they bring to your life which is exactly what my twin sister and I have decided to do long after the rest of our family had made the same choice…