Now and then even I can be amazed that people assume I have a free location for their event or unlimited supplies of decorations or even worse, my photographers want to go spend 3-5 hours on location without being paid simply because “they heard we help people.”
We do help people but the people we are helping booked my staff or I through Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners or a venue I’m affiliated with. We do not help people who aren’t hiring us in some capacity and just need free photography or my inventory.
People asking me to give them something or provide something for free are becoming the new “norm” these days. I have no idea why people think that just giving them this or that is okay or why they feel entitled but I may never really understand how people come up with a new request that I haven’t heard of before. Trying to be polite while making suggestions can be a futile effort.
Recently, someone found a ring on my storefront and wanted me to give it to them because they couldn’t afford it. I have offer settings on all of my listings but don’t “give” anything away regardless of the circumstances because my soft heart often costs me money.
This “just give it to me because I don’t have any money and can’t afford to buy it” stuff reminded of the Austin wedding four years ago that my sister and I termed “The Rings & Regrets Incident.” The couple had found two rings on my selling storefront and asked me to mail them while promising to repay us after paying for their wedding expenses. We have several jewelry items listed at Texas Twins Treasures but they are for sale not for donation.
The “Rings & Regrets” couple had told me they were looking for rings so I sent them a link to our shop. Of course, they chose the two most expensive rings we had listed. After ending the auctions, I packed and mailed both sets and even covered travel expenses and a hotel for their wedding out of my own pocket rather than charging travel fees to officiate their wedding, provide hair and makeup and officiate the rehearsal because we believed they were struggling financially.
You can imagine my shock of arriving to find an exclusive venue, Hummer limousines, photographers & “all the extras!” They couldn’t afford to pay for the wedding rings but they could afford everything else?! On more than one occasion, I’ve been a sucker but experience has taught me not to believe everything I hear. Cindy gave me the stink eye regarding everything I had done at OUR expense because I believed the “we can’t afford it” story told to me.
The “Rings & Regrets” wedding cost me over $1k between the gasoline, two wedding ring sets and hotel accommodations because we BELIEVED the couple to be broke when in fact they weren’t broke but busy paying for an ultra extravagant wedding and never planned to pay for those rings in the first place. There have been so many instances similar to to the “Rings & Regrets Incident” that it would make your head swim.
I suggested that the person wanting me to give them a ring today make an offer because I don’t just give things away because you ask me. After all, no one gave them to me. We barter items and flip them to recover expenses but there will always be someone wanting something for nothing.
I will never really “get over” sending those two rings to Austin because the couple told me they couldn’t afford to buy their own rings. My sister argued with me because she knew we would most likely never get paid and she was right.
My sister is cynical and sassy-she is able to describe these events in quotes that are often about the person who finds them so funny! Now, that’s is ironic….and why our book will shock and amaze you with our resilience to move on, over or around Diva’s, Drama Queens, Drunks & Dipshits.
#Cindyism Quotes are based on our lives and the extraordinary things that happen to us along the way. We learn by experience and it’s one way to never forget being taken advantage of. Cindy can make damn near anything funny!
At one event, after watching me perform three separate wedding ceremonies because the mom, the dad and the grandmothers weren’t speaking to each other, I was told no one brought any money. Ready to pass out in the August heat, my sister grabbed a cowboy hat and instructed everyone to pass it around! Cindy is anything but shy after watching me me struggle to get paid for years. That’s right I said years. Going above and beyond for a few clients and having to fight and argue to get paid is miserable for me but it happens.
On more than one occasion, I’ve encountered a demanding diva that needed to understand that asking for more, more, more would eventually push me to a no, no, no head butting contest.
I’ve learned that saying yes, yes, yes is never enough and will wind up costing me money and anxiety with a diva. Watch my facial expressions in photos and you will quickly figure out when I enjoy the clients and also when I don’t. The photo above has my son shaking his head too (far left). Why? We were dealing with yet another demanding diva when my twin sister snapped the photo. Obviously, I wasn’t having a good time explaining things.
Every year, I add up the hundreds of emails with a header similar to “I or We Heard You Help People.”
As I warily go to read the email and see what someone wants this time, you can bet I’m wishing someone paid me to review the latest me, me, me or I, I, I email but they aren’t. Time is truly priceless to me because I have so little of it.
A few years ago, I was so sick and tired of all these folks asking for my property without booking our services that I instructed my website developer and manager to put a disclaimer on all of my Wendy Wortham Websites that reads “Attention- loaned property is for booked clients and at Wendy Wortham’s discretion.” Apparently, these “something for nothing” folks have never even bothered to visit my websites or they would already be aware of the restrictions and my reasons for having to “point them out.”
Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners Clients locations for photos look different because they are. Why? Because Texas Twins Events clients are at a venue. The venue is rented by the client who can easily afford a nice location and just as easily, pay us for services.
It is very rare that a Texas Twins Events Client uses a free location like a park or backyard or even has a few missing teeth. Why? Money! Texas Twins Events clients are polished and professional IE: they are white collar professionals and have no issue paying for services.
Pawning Planners clients have no money and are blue collar which means they are also smart enough to realize they can’t afford a venue and never ask me to provide them with one because they have the common sense that people wanting something for nothing don’t possess.
As usual, my twin sister “nails” the egomaniacs assuming we started all of our businesses to work for free and fix everyone else’s problems. We didn’t.
Like anyone else who owns and operates a business, we sacrificed money and time to make everything work together to pull off Dream Events.
Pawning Planners clients aren’t divas! Texas Twins Events clients usually aren’t divas either but for all of the divas emailing me, I’ve got a #Cindyism Quote that adequately describes what you are asking of us and offering nothing in return for and thinking the request is normal or okay “Common Sense Is Like A Bra Or A Belt-The People That Need It The Most Never Bother To Wear One And Run Around Showing What A Boob Or Ass They Are!”
I usually miss the meaning myself on #Cindyisms around here. It means the world is full of boobs and butt cracks from people who don’t consider the fact that no one else wants to look at all that stuff and if these folks owned a mirror, they wouldn’t be running around like that overexposed and proud of showing too much skin or thinking the world owes them something and effectively–making an ass out of themselves doing it!
Common sense would be reading the email you are sending asking me or my staff to do everything for you when we don’t even know each other and putting yourself in our position prior to sending it to me.
I have never made an outrageous request to anyone in my life. The ridiculousness of these requests quickly show me that the person sending it “wants the honey from the hive but isn’t willing to get stung!” For those of you scratching your head regarding the meaning, if you aren’t willing to pay for the honey or offer something in return, you aren’t “grasping” the common sense of hard work and sacrifice in order to get what you want.
I refer to the “Me Generation” frequently because I’ve either met them or read an email about THEIR problems that have nothing to do with my family or my businesses. We take care of OUR CLIENTS.
If you can’t afford your event or didn’t budget properly-that isn’t our problem. It’s yours. Some folks want to show up when the work is all done like a blister and take the credit but the truth is that they don’t want to get their own hands dirty doing the dirty work and pretend to have had a hand in the labor in some capacity. Lazy people along with cheap or “entitled” people are (remarkably) similar with wants and desires and unwilling to work for them.
No one is going to provide you with a free venue, a band, all of the bouquets and boutenniers, free photography, tables and chairs or anything else in this business and neither am I.
The only time we sponsor a family is when they have come to me and explained their story or my sister and I have been to their house and quickly recognized that they have nothing of value to offer as a barter in exchange for our services.
If the “only” contact that I’ve had with you is to use my staff or my inventory-you’re out of luck! We don’t have anyone donating tables, chairs, a venue, film development or anything else.
If you want these things—be willing to pay for them yourself. Can you imagine walking into any business and telling them you need their services for free?! Neither can we but it happens all of the time because “we help people.”
The people we help were smart enough to come to us first and ask for help. The people we help have an affiliation with us and didn’t book someone else. Loyalty is so hard to find these days that when we do find someone loyal-they become lifelong friends. Why? Because they know no one else is standing in line wanting to help them or caring about their story other than myself and my team which is why THEY CAME TO US!I “heard” you create amazing bouquets and bouteniers and I don’t have any money.
Floral designs by Wendy Wortham are loaned to 85% of clients booking through The Pawning Planners and 20-30% of Texas Twins Events clients who ask to borrow them.
No one gave me the supplies or donated flowers-I either bought them or created these designs myself. IE: Nothing I have ever done was free-I sacrificed to buy or design my floral inventory for MY clients-NOT strangers!
Nearly everyday I review a text or email regarding someone wanting me to loan them a building, decorations, ring pillow, flower baskets & even free photography because “they can’t afford to buy anything but have a friend officiating and just need me to cover everything else.” Offering nothing in return for this “fix it for me request,” these folks think I have nothing better to do than to clean up their mess by providing everything they didn’t think of or plan for! Today, we will review my reasons for having an inventory on hand to loan booked clients and why I went to the trouble and expense in order to overcome the financial restrictions that prevent my clients from providing these items themselves. I saw the issue and sacrificed to fix it by getting cameras and family members to handle the photography and buying or building an inventory to loan to my clients.
Every venue is available for a price. We do not and never will offer a free building to clients and neither will anyone else. The highest priced items at an event are the venue, the flowers, the cake, the dj and the photographer.
Try calling any area venue and telling them you have a”friend” to officiate and just need everything else. Let me know how that works out because it’s an email I would love to read!
Waking up to yet another request to do everything for someone that I don’t know who “heard that I help people” and wants this or that is and will always be somewhat infuriating since they don’t care what it took for me to create my inventory and more importantly, why I went to the trouble and expense.
As usual, today’s writer “already had someone to officiate.” Well friend, I’m going to suggest asking the person you have officiating to provide everything you need.
After all, my inventory was created for clients booking myself or my staff to officiate or provide event coordination or photography for our clients.
I took a screen shot of this message and sent it to my twin sister, Cindy Daniel who is a genius at “summing up the situation” with her red neck reality #Cindyism Quotes used on Pawning Planners Apparel that fund families we sponsor who have no money or trade.
Not many realize that I started out as a volunteer funeral clergy at area hospitals. When I decided to start a low cost wedding and events businesses a wedding officiant and coordinator, I quickly realized that they had no money for photographers or flowers and spent over a year creating an inventory to loan to my clients. Not someone else’s clients-mine.
If you have hired another vendor, I’m going to suggest asking the vendors you booked with to provide you with the loaned items and/or complimentary photography that we do as a courtesy for OUR CLIENTS.
We aren’t running our businesses to service someone else’s clients who aren’t paying us for our contributions but we field so many “I heard you help people” type inquiries that educating these folks is becoming a Merry Go Round of monotony.
Cindy sent me her #cindyism quote of the day “I am NOT a mathematician so PLEASE don’t bring me YOUR problems to SOLVE!” Yes, my twin is NEVER speechless when it comes to (yet another) all for them and who cares about us endeavor.
I care about your story but my sister cares far more about getting paid as detailed in this blog-Cindy Daniel-The GingerTwin & Creator Of #Cindyism Quotes Used On Pawning Planners Apparel.
When I “care” about your story, I commit my entire family to make your dream event a reality-sometimes at my own expense when you have nothing of value to barter with or money to book us.
We aren’t at home visiting with family or doing something fun-we are on location several hours to help you with a dream event. Why? Because we do events right! Not half in or half out but all the way. You forgot something or had something break and are panicked? We bring everything with us along with a team to save the day! We thing of everything so you don’t have to.
Why? Because she has watched me spend my own money over as over to help someone who had plenty of money to pay us but used that money to pay someone else while asking us to fix their problems!
To solve the problem of hearing every person that contacted me had no money, we require an Appraisal Appointment whey clients to see where they live and more importantly, if they have anything of value to barter with through The Pawning Planners.
After all, there wasn’t anyone standing in line to help these people at their own expense aside from me or my family. I spent $50k dollars from the profit of my Dream Home to start Texas Twins Events, Texas Twins Treasures and The Pawning Planners and worked at my own expense for years because I believed that everyone claiming to have no money didn’t.
A few days ago, I wrote a blog regarding folks who want me or my staff to do all of the work, take all of the risks and hand them the reward. If you haven’t read it, here’s the link-You’ve Got To GIVE To GET With The Pawning Planners.
My reasons for taking time out of my busy day to address all of the people wanting me to do something to benefit them were to “enlighten them.”
Apparently, a few readers recognized themselves in that blog and took the time to apologize for abusing my friendship by asking for too much while offering nothing in return.
If I had a nickel for every person contacting me to benefit themselves without putting any skin in the game-I would be rich by now! Apparently, “I heard this” or “I heard that” correspondence is from people who “heard” what they wanted to hear without understanding or even bothering to understand who we help or why.
A few of these writers think “their stress is my problem” and it isn’t. Providing decorations and photography to strangers is not without great risk to me. What if my inventory is lost, damaged or stolen?! That’s right it happens all of the time to me. I have never not had something lost or damaged-loaning items costs me money all of the time.
Photography, floral designs & more at our events weren’t provided because these families booked with someone else. These things were provided because they booked with us.
A few days ago, someone contacted me about “just sending someone on my staff over” to handle their photography at a venue with another officiant. If you can afford a venue and hire an officiant not affiliated with my staff or I-ask the venue or the officiant you’ve hired to provide complimentary photographers and prints.
“I’ve seen photos of you and your family at many events with chairs. I just need you to deliver and set up chairs for 125-150 guests at my event because I can’t afford to rent them myself.”
I cannot make this stuff up–it happens far too much and too often to me. If you want chairs-go rent them and pay for delivery and set up. We do not provide chairs or tables. I do not have a box truck laying around or staff that will volunteer to set up or tear down at no expense to you. If you want tables and chairs–go rent them and pay for delivery and set up like anyone else.
When we are on location, we are attaching chair bows not setting up chairs that someone just left on my doorstep or delivered to my clients as a courtesy.
“I’ve got everything else paid for but need two of your photographers because after checking around, one photographer wants $500 an hour and I can’t afford it. Besides we really want two photographers!” Well, I’m going to suggest asking a friend to handle your requested free photographer(s).
From venues, to floral designs, to photographers, to chairs, to tables & everything in between-the people contacting me need to think about what they are asking and try asking someone else the same questions! I would love to hear the answers.
If you want something from me or my team, make sure you aren’t asking us for something you would never ask another business for. The items I loan or we provide are for our clients not strangers….
Wendy M Wortham The Pawning Planners-We Barter Dream Events